Emotional Transition - RV-Dreams Community Forum

heyduke · RV-Dreams Family Member

RE: Emotional Transition

K & E · RV-Dreams Family Member

Judy: I sense you are feeling very blue! I had all of the same feelings while we were trying to sell our house. It was one of the most frustrating experiences in my life. But, keep your chin up. It will happen!!!

It took a year, but our house sold to some very nice people who are so excited to raise their 2 children in "our" house just as we raised our 2 children there.

One word of advice to you. Sell as much as you can now. Even though I felt we had gotten rid of a lot of stuff, I was still very overwhelmed at the end. We sold much on ebay and Craigslist before and had an estate sale, but still ended up giving a 2 car garage full of stuff to charity.

After a while, I didn't care about the memories anymore. It was just a bunch of stuff that was in my way to living the dream! aww

As far as guilt about family members goes. When we first told my mom, she put some guilt on me. When I reminded her how she and my dad (who is now deceased) had many years of traveling and fun in retirement and that is was now our turn, she understood much better.

I am praying for all of you waiting to get started. We're loving every minute of it!

norsado2 · RV-Dreams Family Member

I'am one who uses some terms to often this too shall pass tough times don't last tough people do hang in there john

Darrell and Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

You're all right!! The transition can be heart wrenching on many levels. We've now been fulltimer's for almost four years and can still remember the "lumps" in our throats and the "knots" in our stomachs. It isn't the "stuff" but the memories attached to the "stuff" - the dining room set that our family gathered around for over twenty years, the coffee table with the imprint of our first son's teeth in it from a tumble while first learning to walk, etc., etc.. But the memories last a lifetime even though the "stuff" in now gone.

We lived in a large house and when our youngest son left for college, it left us banging around in it like two ping pong balls in an empty box. We lived primarily in the combination kitchen/family room, the master bedroom/bath, and the rec room with our exercise equipment and hot tub. The rest of the house remained pretty much untouched except for cleaning detail.

We've replaced the kitchen/family room with a combination kitchen/dining/livingroom in our fifthwheel, the bedroom/bath with a combination bedroom/bath, and the rec room with the great outdoors (biking, hiking, kayaking, etc.) - same accommodations only smaller and a whole lot easier to clean (we do miss the hot tub though).

As far as family and friends, we've actually gotten to see them more often with more quality time. We've been able to spend more time with our grandchildren than before (taking our oldest grand daughter on a two week trip with us this summer). We've made more friends than we could ever imagine with some of them being just a close as family and we "bump" into them all over this great country of ours.

All in all, we are very happy with our lifestyle, however, it does have it's days but, life had it's days when we lived in sticks and bricks as well. The greatest advantage of this lifestyle is freedom (especially if you enter it debt free). You have the freedom to spend as long as you like with family and old friends and the freedom to travel where ever you want by yourself or with new friends.

Hang in there, y'all!! You'll just love it when a plan comes together. God Bless you as you make this transition into a new phase of your life.

Dreamers · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thank you so much Judy. I'm already feeling much better but I was about ready to give up when I posted to this thread. We try to turn it all over to the Lord to lead us but the problem is we take it back because we can't see him working.

On Friday morning last week we got a call from one of the dealers we had been talking with that he had just taken in a trade that he thought we might be interested in. It was a 2009 37' Montana 10th Anniversary Edition. And, he gave us a price we couldn't pass up. In years past, we had bought two different motor homes from him so don't know if that played into the price we got or not. Anyway we now have an RV to go with our truck. We will be picking it up this coming Friday (abt 115 miles from home) and bringing it back to T-town where we live. Since we sized down almost 3 years ago and now live in a small garden home we had to have someplace to park it. We found a small unadvertised RV park abt two miles from our house. (It was primarily built for football weekends) So, we are renting a camping space there for a month $300 without sewer or $350 with and we will park it there so we can try and learn everything, partially load it, and even stay in occassionally. So, things are starting to fall in place again. At the end of the month we will move it to their RV storage area which is connected to the campground if we don't have a contract on our house. If we have a contract, we'll just pay another month and stay there while we close and work my notice out at the "job" thing.

We have had two yard sales and are planning a 3rd in June. Hopefully, we will only have to have the estate sale once we get a contract on the house. So, only if the house would sale. It's been on the market 2 months and 3 days now. But, we made the FT decision 6 months and 4 days ago. So sure would like to be out there.

Happytrails · RV-Dreams Family Member

Selling a home in this market is a roller coaster ride. Along with that ride your emotions go up and down. It is normal. It is also normal to question yourself along the way. We have all done that (most likely). It is my opinion that when the Lord is ready things will fall in place.
We attempted to begin full-timing in 2005 (I think) and that didn't work out and we even decided to sell the motorhome because we didn't know how long it would take us to get out on the road. We then tried again in 2007....thinking this was the right time. It wasn't. Once again we sold the motorhome because we really thought it wasn't in the cards and the economy was in the guter. Then one morning I got a call from our former realtor asking if we still wanted to sell the house. I said probably....why? The rest is history. We found a super motorhome, got a great deal and we are full-timers. The entire story is on our blog.

In saying all of this I am saying... what you feel is so normal. Hang in there...be patient. It will happen. In the meantime stay on the forum, stay focused, stay motivated. We have all been there and made it...you can too.

debclements · RV-Dreams Community Member

I'm a real newbie on these boards and we don't have a rig yet.....but I do know about transition. In the 10 months we have had more life changes that I could ever dreamed possible....my mother who lived with us for 12 years suddenly went to be with the Lord, our son who had just returned from a year long mission trip involving Israel decided he felt the Lord calling him to California so we were faced with empty nest on top of grief. We just adopted out my mother's little Maltese about a month ago....way too many life changes for me.

Fast forward to now....we are really considering a full time RV lifestyle..but must remain employed...both of us are too young to retire. Our house is a 5 bedroom, 2 bath and we occupy so little of it. It really doesn't even feel like home anymore.

We are planning on the putting the house on the market about the middle of June.

Deb
NE Indiana

heyduke · RV-Dreams Family Member

good luck deb... here is hoping it works out for you both...

Hdrider · RV-Dreams Family Member

Well I"M A MAN!!! I'm glad I don't feel any of those sissy emotion's!! It's just a bunch of sticks and bricks and a pile of stuff!!! RIGHT!?!?!?
Well I wish that was the way I could really feel but it isn't disbelief

We have been talking and reading about full timing for years,, you would think we would be mentally and emotionally ready for the life change but I guess you really never are until the time really gets here.
We have been selling off tools and the extra STUFF for some time now. Been handling that pretty well,, laughing about how it makes us just that much more ready.
But now it looks like we have a VERY good chance of our place selling and the time for full time might just about be here,,, which has brought around the thoughts and emotions that ,, I as a MAN,,, should not be feeling LOL!!! Just joking here folks.
In fact just yesterday we looked at each other and had the conversation once more about,, are we really doing this!!!
And it's funny how after ALL of the research I have done on the things we should know about hitting the road,, when the time really gets here it makes me go back and second guess everything I THINKI have learned,,, phones,,, Internet,,, insurance,, ect.
Makes me very glad there are places like RV-Dreams to spent time on.
There,,, I'm done,,, now I'm going to go find where I misplaced my testosterone and carry on with my day!!!!

janni · RV-Dreams Family Member

You are definately not alone in the way you feel. We are newbies and BOTH of us have had those feelings. I have spent a lot of time here also and it really helps. I had a couple say to me the other day "Where are you going to be in five years?" Then they told me they had done this and after two years were sick of it! Being the polite ND girl I am I said to them "I only know that I could not live and die and not seen all this beautiful country God has given us." Then as I walked away I said "Where will you be in five years?"
You just have to go for it! Good luck and stay close to this group.

Racerguy · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have been on the road a little over 8 months now and I know exactly how you feel.When we pulled away from our property for the last time( I still miss my 40x 52 shop)we both had mixed feelings.We now do not regret one bit taking the plunge.You didn't misplace your testosterone you are just stepping a little out of your comfort zone and that will go away once you get going.Good luck on the sale of your home.

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jo was the first (back in 2006, prior to moving to the present house) to suggest that we sell everything and start over. Of course, I resisted that because there was just too much that I "wanted". Since then, and about a year after moving to the new house we began this dream of RV'ing.

As we got rid of things, I suddenly realized that being without so much "STUFF", it was actually liberating. The one stumbling block that I had was getting rid of three SLR film cameras and all the associated lenses and accessories in our garage sale. (As a serious, amateur photographer, those cameras felt like parts of the family.) By the way, that whole mess of cameras and lenses and accessories brought $35 at the garage sale. But, now I don't have to find a place for them in the RV. I did keep two antique cameras that belonged to my parents and grandparents.

I have to look at it in this way. I've still got an excellent set of cameras. (Now they are all digital.) And Jo finally bought an excellent camera for herself and with the future of full-time RV'ing, we look forward to photographing God's beauty and wonder.

As for being a MAN, well, just raise the hood of the truck and hold a wrench in your hand. You don't have to do anything.....just hold the wrench. Guaranteed method to help retain your "Man Card". And if there is anything we don't want, it is this:

https://i1190.photobucket.com/albums/z458/TerryandJo/Nonsense%20Stuff%20Not%20Really%20My%20Photos/ManCardRevoked.jpg

Terry

MargieAnne · RV-Dreams Community Member

My saga.

It was very little bother to pack and sort our belongings. A series of circumstances had us doing this many years prior to considering the RV lifestyle so house and land and property and things had lost their charm and hold over us. John did struggle with disposing of his tools and collections of nuts and bolts and etceteras. He's a maintenance engineer so this was really traumatic for him. My things had been packed, stored, unpacked, purged, packed and restored several times. The house we lived in was not 'home.' The Community we lived in was not 'home.'

Before John could retire our daughter needed help with her 'Dream.' She bought a Backpacker Hostel with our assistance and I managed it for three or four years with John and daughter coming to help as their shift work allowed. When John finally retired, instead of fulfilling our lifetime dream immediately we continued to work for our daughter, for another three years, assisting her while she continued to work part time. We lived in our Bus-home with the convenience of the facilities in her flat.

It was a wonderful time and I became part of a very special Church Community. During this time we took our first major trip, our Shake-Down trip. I was so excited to at last be able to do what we wanted and Follow Our Dream.

6 weeks into the trip I lost the plot big time. Poor John was more than confused and I couldn't tell him what was wrong. I'd never been homesick, even at boarding school. As I went off on my own that day, trying to work things out in my head, I was shocked by how emotionally attached I had become to my Church Community. This was about 9 years ago. It has taken another set of changes and much time, another 7 years, for me to become free. I'd still go back to that Community at the drop of a hat if circumstances allowed.

Today We're driving 1.5 hours so I can go to Church and spend Sunday with some of my best friends. The roads have been referred to as rat runs because they are so narrow, they are also twisty and hilly and clogged with holiday traffic. I really appreciate that John is willing to drive me as it will be a long hot day.

I may have already written most of this somewhere on the forum, and if so I apologise.

We've never been free to follow our Full Time Dream but that didn't stop me having an emotional melt down. It was totally unexpected and quite a shock to discover my area of vulnerability. You'll never know until you get out and do something just where it might hurt the most. For me it has been part of my 'Growing-Up'.

I was told by an experienced RVer that 6 -8 weeks into Full Timing is about when it hits most women. Up to that point the excitement and busyness carry us through. That's about when the penny drops that we are no longer part of the Community we had grown to love, be it friends or family or both. I can't speak for men because they have a whole different lot of stuff to work through including leaving their jobs, clubs and friends not to mention reducing their tools to RV friendly levels. Ha!

We're complex beings and it's healthy to have some kind of emotional response to a major change in lifestyle. It's healthy to wait and see whether the emotional response is temporary and part of 'Growing-Up', or because we cannot abide the lifestyle. I think I have it worked out but I'm not sure we will ever experience the Full-Time lifestyle. Sometimes there are circumstances that make us choose a different reality. That is so for us for the time being.

Contentment, whatever the circumstances is a wonderful blessing. I think I've found it again.

Whatever your dream there will always be a price to pay to make it become reality.

-- Edited by MargieAnne on Saturday 1st of January 2011 01:23:48 PM

Bob and Kathy · RV-Dreams Family Member

I would like to add something that was written on another forum (I forget which one now!) that really impacted my thinking so much that I printed it out. Here it is...

"What we found out, after moving all of our stuff to our dream home, was that we did not own our stuff, our stuff owned us. We had to provide a place for our stuff, watch our stuff, take care of our stuff, repair our stuff and dust our stuff. NO MORE."

Can I get an "Amen!" ??

Gypsy Turtle 2 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Amen!

I found getting rid of all the "stuff" one of the most liberating things I'd ever done.

laurly · RV-Dreams Family Member

Amen to that! We're sorting through things now, and though we are a year out at least, all I want to do is get rid of everything NOW! :)

bonnie and clyde · RV-Dreams Family Member

Wow!
Speak of emotions. There is nothing I want to do like fulltime. Last year we spent 100 days rving and this year I want more. When we are "home" we spend half our time second guessing if we are doing what we should be-being responsible, keeping our granddaughters as much as we should, seeing the parents like we should, spending the time at work like we should, being responsible. When we are rving we spend time seeing this beautiful county, spending time together, celebrating each day, enjoying all we worked for all these years. We are in the middle of major downsizing and eliminating as much expense as we can. Hoping 2012 is our year of freedom--my goodness we are 60.
Best to all of you in your journey.

Ivey · RV-Dreams Family Member

On the topic of emotions. We have been downsizing and sorting and purging for nearly a year now. The house goes on the market this spring and we hope to be full time before fall. So far everything has been positive but the other day we were sorting a small store room. I came across my ski-boots. ( I used to be a ski instructor) The decision to purge them was a hard one. I actually cried as they went into the get rid of pile. Try as I might I could not find a reason to take them in the RV. (I do NOT intend to be in snow).

I hadn't looked at or thought about those boots for years but the act of getting rid of them was very emotional.

BenMary · RV-Dreams Community Member

Oh my -ya'll brought tears to my eyes. We have been talking about this for years - selling everything and getting our RV home.

Our son is grown now and we don't want all the work a house comes with. I want to play before I am to old to play anymore.

Our house sold in 3 DAYS! So we have been packing and purging. Some things are so easy to put in the garage sale, other things (and it is just stuff, I know that) but it's hard to let them go. We got a storage for those things and will continue to let them go as we move through this process.

We are excited and nervous. I was thinking how we had spent our 20's traveling - our 30's & 40's having a house and raising our son and on to our 50's (almost there) back to exploring and starting a new life together.

It's just a big change but a good one. And I know that God has been walking every step with us. What a comfort!

Parrish · RV-Dreams Community Member

The emotions are killing me. A girl came by from the office begging me to come back (Now she has to work with an idiot). I'm scared for my boss because because he lost another wonderful employee who wrote me the nicest e-mail about how much I taught her. Some friends came by and really tried hard to presuade me and my wife to stay. She sat with my handicapped wife while her husband and I went to a gun show.

A friend is coming down from Kentucky to take two of my bird dogs that I love. Scared about my wifes illness. I have to go finish my remodeling work, plan on putting the house on the market next week and hoping it sells fast. The stuff doesn't bother me at all and I my wife has been pretty good about it so far.

Sure enjoyed the emotional aspects section of RV-Dreams. If my house sells in three days, that will be a lot of financial pressure off of me. Thanks for having this forum.

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

(sorry this is so long)

I am so glad to have found this thread!

My dh and I have talked for several years about living the fulltime rv life. We are die hard campers spending the summers here in Michigan boondocking for weeks on end in the deep woods, just the two of us and our two Shih-Tuz's.

Both of us are in our early 50's, we have been married for 34 years and....we have 34 years of junk to get rid of! We have a son that has moved back in with us along with our 4 grandchildren (3 of them under 4) and needless to say our home is hectic....our lives are not our own anymore and thus we came upon the decision to finally take the plunge and "get out of Dodge" while our health and "sanity" is still good .

If I had my way we would be on the road and gone within the next 6 months....of course, the dh is more level headed and not planning on leaving
until next year. :(

The one thing I have noticed in the process of getting ready and planning for our adventure on the road is how hard it is to "erase" 34 years of our life and all the things we have managed to aquire along with memories over those 34 years.

We have so many things tyeing us down such as our home that we need to try and sell in this poor economy, a 25 year old heating/cooling business, and 3 rental properties. I am not sure what I need to do first quite frankly....it is overwhelming to say none the least.

Unfortunatly, we have no retirement besides the rental properties and no health insurance. The economy has effected our business badly and therefore taken pretty much most of our savings, so what we manage to save between now and when we leave along with what we sell will pretty much be what puts us on the road financially.

Thankfully we already have a nice F250 diesel truck, I do have a 26ft. travel trailer now, but would like to purchase a bigger fifth wheel with the last of the money I have in the savings along with selling the 26 footer we now have.

I have a online business that makes me about 1,500-2,000 per month that I can work from the rv and still make a decent living. We plan on workcamping for extra money and free lot rent.

Getting rid of all the "junk in the trunk" is not easy, like I said before....it is harder to simply "erase" and get rid of all the things that
tie you down....I wish I could just walk out our front door close it behind me, get int he RV and GO right now!

Mary
Michigan

Racerguy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Mary as some who has been through that a couple years ago let me tell you as you go along it will get easier and easier to get rid of stuff.The hard part is just getting started but once you start shedding stuff you will feel a weight coming off your shoulders and it will get much easier.

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Racerguy wrote:
Mary as some who has been through that a couple years ago let me tell you as you go along it will get easier and easier to get rid of stuff.The hard part is just getting started but once you start shedding stuff you will feel a weight coming off your shoulders and it will get much easier.

Thanks...I hope so.

I just don't know where to start first I guess.

I think I will just get the RV that I plan on living full time in then put the house up for sale, eventually close up the business (can't wait) then sell my belongings and then finally I guess just get on the road!

I think we will plan on keeping the rental homes, because as one of our exit stratgeties is if things don't work out or we have to come off the road due to health, we can move into one of our rental homes.

RVRon · RV-Dreams Family Member

MaryBee wrote:
I just don't know where to start first I guess.
I think I will just get the RV that I plan on living full time in then put the house up for sale, eventually close up the business (can't wait) then sell my belongings and then finally I guess just get on the road!
I think we will plan on keeping the rental homes, because as one of our exit stratgeties is if things don't work out or we have to come off the road due to health, we can move into one of our rental homes.

Mary, we're kind of in a similar situation but making headway. We had a rental home that was torn to shreds by the most recent tenant. After about 6 months of working on it ourselves (we couldn't have ever afforded to hire it out) we put it up for sale and luckily found a buyer within about 45 days. We didn't get what we were hoping for it but it was a cash deal with no banks or inspectors involved so we felt we did well.

Once that huge hurdle was behind us we started cleaning out the main house. What an ordeal that has been! We have boxes and boxes of old papers that have to be sorted into what could be tossed and what must be shredded to prevent identity theft. Then there's the boxes and boxes of pictures and vinyl records. The big project right now is to transcribe the records to the computer, the pictures are to be sorted and just special ones will be scanned. Then there's the cherished momentos. Some just go straight into the trash and the others that are really special get their picture taken first, then they go into the trash! I'll admit, once you break the ice and throw away something really dear to you the rest becomes easier.

All the while that is going on we're working on fix-up projects on the house that probably should have been done long ago but it's crunch time now!

We've been selling some things that have value on Craigs List but a lot of things will hopefully go in a couple of big yard sales. What is left over will either be donated or just tossed in the trash.

Slowly, slowly we are beginning to feel the weight of "stuff" be removed and are getting a feeling of the freedom that waits when it is gone.

My advice would be to just put your head down, pick a room and clean it out. Don't look back... keep moving forward. The light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter every day!

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Mary,

First of all, let me welcome you to the RV Dreams forums. You have definitely found a good source of information from very friendly folks.

In our case, Jo was the prod and I was the anchor. That is, until I went out into the garage and started looking at all "my stuff." As I looked at each item, I tried to visualize the last time I used each item.

That started the downsizing. As each thing went out to family or friends that wanted things, it got easier and easier to get rid of "stuff." We participated in one neighborhood garage sale and got rid of a lot of stuff in one day. We then began to sell some other items to acquaintenances and the nearly useless stuff left over from the garage sale went to Good Will. Freely given with no receipt needed.

Jo sold some of her sewing equipment (can't put much in a fifth wheel) on Craig's List and as people came to pick up the equipment, they saw a house nearly empty of furniture. A few of the furniture items left were seen by those folks and bought as well.

As we got to the move out stage (and into the fifth wheel), we donated the last of the furniture we had to an acquaintenance at work whose church was collecting furniture for the Indian reservations out west.

As George (Racerguy) said, as it begins, it just gets easier.

Good luck with it all, but choose carefully on your fifth wheel as an F250 won't pull too heavy of a unit. Watch the weight capacities carefully.

Terry

Neil and Connie · RV-Dreams Family Member

Terry and Jo wrote:
Mary,
That is, until I went out into the garage and started looking at all "my stuff." As I looked at each item, I tried to visualize the last time I used each item.

Yeah . . .the first load of stuff that went out was hard; but the subsequent loads are getting easier and easier.

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thank you all for your help....I don't feel "as lost" now that I have found this forum. I know that it is all going to be a "process" and it is hard to think I am getting rid of everything we have worked for all our lives....the things we thought we wanted in life. :)

I have had it all, travel, business, new home...STUFF....now I can't wait to get rid of it and move on to a stress free life...one
that I can get up in the morning with a cup of java and not worry about what has to be done or paid that day KWIM?

As far as our truck...we are not planning on getting to big with a rig...nothing over 30 feet as the dh won't want to pull it. The
F250 diesel super duty can pull quite a bit... but we will be careful none the less...sure don't want any problems. :)

Neil and Connie · RV-Dreams Family Member

Darrell and Judy wrote:

We lived in a large house and when our youngest son left for college, it left us banging around in it like two ping pong balls in an empty box. We lived primarily in the combination kitchen/family room, the master bedroom/bath, and the rec room with our exercise equipment and hot tub. The rest of the house remained pretty much untouched except for cleaning detail.

Exactly the situation Connie and I found ourselves in (except the hot tub); which was a large part of deciding to downsize. We're planning on eventually settling down in the Austin, TX area and started out thinking about moving to a townhouse there and taking months long driving trips through the country. Even staying in an area in a hotel for a week or so and getting a better rate; it's still a hotel and you've gotta pack/unpack the car . . .you have to eat out all the time, and you have really limited space. So we decided to get the 5th wheel (New Horizons almost on order; working on the final details with them now) and hit the road.

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Well....it has started!

Think we have our travel trailer sold so now we can really look for our fiver and once we have our "new home" we can start getting it
ready and selling our stuff.

Funny turn of events, but I don't think I am going to have to go thru selling our house... my sister and her hubby and going
to simply move in and take over the payment and live here.

The good thing is that we can still stay here in our fiver until we are fully ready and it gives us a place to come back
to that is familier in the summer...we can stay in the yard! I love the idea and I fully trust and know my sister will
take care if things and be happy here.

I am already starting to get nervous and get the sinking feeling of "what the hell am I doing!" But my sister thinks this
"new life" will be great for us and fully supports what we are doing.

The Dh was looking at fivers online today and I think he is really getting "itchy". Can't wait to find our "new home" and
start playing around and really getting things road ready!

Mary
Michigan

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

The nice part is ........when your "what the hell was I thinking....Turns into "Why didnt we do this sooner and how come nobody ever told us about this!!!!!!!

May your journey Down this road make each bump enjoyable. and welcome !!!!!!!!!

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Lucky Mike wrote:
The nice part is ........when your "what the hell was I thinking....Turns into "Why didnt we do this sooner and how come nobody ever told us about this!!!!!!!

May your journey Down this road make each bump enjoyable. and welcome !!!!!!!!!

Love it, thanks Mike!

Jack Mayer · RV-Dreams Family Member

MaryBee wrote:
Well....it has started!

Funny turn of events, but I don't think I am going to have to go thru selling our house... my sister and her hubby and going
to simply move in and take over the payment and live here.

Mary
Michigan

Well, with all due respect - that would make me VERY nervous. YOU are liable for that payment. Having someone else make it in your behalf - which is what you are doing - is not something I would want to do. Even for a family member. What happens if they lose their job(s). What if they stop making payments cause one gets sick and can't work....any number of things - other than ill will - can cause payments not to be made. Perhaps you want to "help" your sister, and that is a nice thing to do, assuming yuo can afford it. But in that situation my "help" would be in the form of adjusting the price of the home - but I would NEVER carry the full burden of the property. JMO. And I know you did not ask....

Why not just sell them the house? If they are not qualified to buy it, then how are they going to make the payment? Also, unless you "just" bought it, the interest rate - and thus the payment - will be much lower than your current payment.

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks for your concern....I really am not worried.

I have 3 other rental homes so I am very well versed on what can happen when payments are not made, happens all the time to us and I have someone is court it seems like all the time!

We have a 4 bedroom rental and the turn around in that home is HUGE, but
we keep it rented.

This situation is not that much different....if she can't make the payments then out she goes...I either rent it again, sell it or move back home.

It is all good...:)

We are probably going to get a Property Manager so we don't have to worry about it too much.

HomeSweetRV · RV-Dreams Family Member

My thoughts...

We never really know if we’ve made the right decision until after we’ve made it.

Take photographs of the things you have trouble letting go of - they take up so much less space.

Of course, bring your favorite family photos, ours are on screen saver on our laptop, so we see them all the time.

Think: "Does someone else need this more than I? Would someone else enjoy having this more than I?"

Am I willing to pay more money for this so I can keep it? (storage)

Think: "If the house was burning down, would this be something I would run to save, or would I not be so sad to lose it in a disaster?"

How often to I physically visit family, vs. calling? Can they install Skype? Might I talk to them more while travelling and having more time to think of them, than I do in my busy S&B life?

Guys, think of how often you went to get that nut or bolt or tool you saved cuz you “might need it someday”, and couldn’t find it in all your junk, so just went up to the corner hardware to buy a new one much more quickly than finding the one you saved.

Donation is the key to getting rid of things we don't need!

http://www.wisebread.com/how-to-get-rid-of-your-junk

Life is not a dress rehersal!

Jack Mayer · RV-Dreams Family Member

MaryBee, sounds like you have things well under control from the rental perspective....with your experience and attitude you should not get into a bind. Many do not have the experience you do that will help you have a successful outcome.

Good luck on your travels - see you out on the road !!

MaryBee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jack Mayer wrote:
MaryBee, sounds like you have things well under control from the rental perspective....with your experience and attitude you should not get into a bind. Many do not have the experience you do that will help you have a successful outcome.

Good luck on your travels - see you out on the road !!

LOL, I think the hardest part is getting rid of all our darn junk! :)

RVRon · RV-Dreams Family Member

MaryBee wrote:

LOL, I think the hardest part is getting rid of all our darn junk! :)

I second that emotion!

AnCndRV · RV-Dreams Community Member

Our "fulltiming it" decision came from necessity. But I still grieved a little, over seeing so many things get put in storage, or simply given away. But to be honest, downsizing, to us, felt like we were given the gift of freedom. To someone like me, freedom must be what Heaven is made of. Being able to pay the mortgage for 5 years instead of 30, being able to move our home with us if our job ever has to transfer, taking our home with us on vacation - the list goes on and on - the blessings outweigh the pain of letting go, of "stuff". Laundry is a breeze now, because we don't have that many pieces of clothing to wash. Cooking and washing dishes, easier because theres fewer dishes. We actually have MORE in our trailer home than we did at the last house we rented. That house didnt have an oven or a stove (we built a campfire stove outside to accomodate) - our trailer has both! We didn't have a bed until NOW, because the trailer came with one. (More than one actually, but we prefer the one). All we need is the guitar to jam when we feel like it, the tamborine, egg shaker, the little TV, the internet and laptop, and our little dog, and most of all - each other. I thank God every day for providing us with a wonderful home, and with safety and security.

Kai · RV-Dreams Community Member

I need a plan! I have read through what everyone has written... many so touching. I think I am coming from opposite side...and don't want to just make an emotional decision. I still have a house...just have been on the road working last 4 out of 5 years. Type of work is contract and long hours, sometimes several weeks sometimes several months. Somewhere towards the end of doing a 16 mo job at 84 hrs a wk i got married... then he had to leave for a contract in another state for sev. months. We both finished by Christmas and I drove into town to have dinner with family and back on the road in a few weeks.To make this quicker, I had an injury and i've been working on recovering for over a year. Hubby loves it I travel with him full time...(before two campers going two diff. States) But he wks the long hours. I find myself missing home, my grown daughter who lives at house... (we were there 3 days Christmas then year before that). I have owned business before but just can't come up with something to do on the road ... `Since we aren't in any place that long...and stay in campground area's that are for "workers" aren't usually wives. Read a lot... dogs run when they see the brush...lol Open for ideas... Eliz

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Apologizing in advance for the long post. This forum thread and Howard & Linda's Emotional Transitions and all the similar posts on Escapees have been read and reread.

Elizabeth, with your history you obviously have lots of transferrable skills. Many years ago it helped me to identifymine by reading "What Color is Your Parachute". Best of luck with figuring out what you want to do.

Also loved the "buttheads at work" on another post.

Last week we made the decision to put our home on the market in May of 2013 to go fulltiming and this week I am getting anxious.

Jesse is an airforce brat and retired Navy so he's lived in many other countries as well as multiple states. I'm a retired golf exec (whoopie, it was a small 4 mil company so it was easy to be an exec there!) This is my 10th state that I've lived in. We were recently married & we have a wonderful life; we both have a strong sense of wanderlust and yet both love our home and where we live. Jesse introduced me to this wonderful life and we are in our 2nd travel trailer. (Bad accident in the first one posted on here someplace but we went right out and did it again.) We both know if we could pick anywhere for our exit strategy it would be right here which makes our decision so difficult. I've read posts of people who haven't found that "it" place yet. We bought our wonderful, low- maintenance, built 2001, 1700 Sq. Ft. home 2.5 years ago. It's one story, fabulous mountain views out the majority of windows and no one can build behind us. We have great neighbors, there is a pretty good hospital in town so this would be a great place if we had to give up full timing. (one word or two ?)

Jesse will be 70 next March and I follow 6 months later. I've had some (controlled, no biggie but the history is there) health issues and he is very healthy. Because of his Navy service we have TriCare supplementing Medicare which is a HUGE blessing (saves me about $500 mo). We have fixed incomes that combined make our lives very pleasant. We also have one significant IRA but not as significant as Howards (or Jack's - I suspect

that we don't want to touch except for possible big emergencies and the withdrawals we have to start to take next year. My SS will increase when I turn 70. Our 6 kids are all doing very well and live everywhere from New Hampshire to LA so we would certainly see them more often if/when we go.

We do have a mortgage on our home and values are improving in our area. We bought at the right time I'd guess. We want to purchase a really nice 5er and newer diesel truck when the house sells. We've thought of renting it furnished but it's really beautifully done but I hestate. We've thought of selling everything (it's amazing how many times each of us have moved and downsized how much STUFF we still accumulate!!) We're signed up for the fall Rally in Oregon and really looking forward to it.

The ideal of course would be to keep both but we don't want to strap ourselves. Even though we wouldn't need to work on the road, we'd like to do it some as we both are very active and involved with volunteer work and just like to contribute.

My stopping thought is what happens to him if I get really sick on the road or if something happens to me? I know we can't predict what will happen when so I swing back and forth.

Just wanted to put this out there and thank you all for your thoughts, both past and future both on this thread/forums/blogs and others.

Sherry

-- Edited by WestWardHo on Saturday 14th of July 2012 04:09:11 PM

suse1023 · RV-Dreams Family Member

another newbie here with mixed emotions who is re-reading this thread with great interest.
we had the real estate agent here today for the photo shoot, and a decent moving sale this past weekend.
tons of physical manifestations of my memories are leaving--clothes, crystal, books, albums etc etc.
i cried when my favorite dishes i bought for my future home when i was a teenager went away with a nice lady who loved them. they are too fragile for the road so why keep them?
how silly to be so maudlin over dishes for pete's sakes!!

we know this is what we want, to hit the road while dh has the time before his illness makes it impossible.
but dang it's HARD sometimes!

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Sese1023,
Because of you post I re-read this whole thread. (I daily hit "recent posts" on top menu bar to keep current.) I had posted right before you lady July and we still hadn't decided on full timing. The darned "what ifs?". But we attended the fall RVDreams Rally and came home and said I want to do it. We have been on and off for two years until Jesse finally said to me, "I need to know if we're going or staying?" I laughed because it was true.

In reading all the wonderfully heartwarming posts on this thread and other threads on the forum, I realized that none of us knows what tomorrow holds or what will happen along the way but we'll deal with it. Many years ago I read a book called "Necessary Losses" by Judith Voirst I think which helped me a great deal. (I also believe I still have a copy for the garage sales if anyone wants it ill be happy to mail, no charge.) The premise of the book was that almost from birth life is a process of losses. We're separated from our mothers at birth, then weaned, then off to school, then the dreaded teen years, then college, the marriage, for some divorces, children grow up and leave home -ALL losses with the final one being our own death.

I've moved to 11 states and had to leave friends in each place, my siblings are all over the country & I've lost two, my mother passed at age 48, my children have grown up and left home and live all over the country, my severely disabled daughter had to be placed in a board & care home at age 22 - that one I describe was like cutting off my own arm without an anesthetic. There were many, many heartbreaks along the way. At this point in life I'm also dealing with physical losses, loss of vision in one eye (8 surgeries) and surviving cancer.

BTW, love the guys sharing on this thread too.

I have learned to grieve, and let go and guess I've had a lot of practice. Some of us have less practice than others up to this point in life.

All I know now is we will see the children all more often than we do now and we'll handle what comes up as it comes and that EVERY SINGLE TIME WE'VE GONE ON TRIPS we want to stay longer, see more, meet more people so we're going to do it. I think one of my primary concern was about making friends on the road but the Rally & this forum solved that. I learned that the Phaeton & New Horizon owners were as friendly as the pop-up owners because we all share the same interest. My other big concern was "what happens if one of gets really sick as we both turn 70 this year?" We'll deal with it and make those decisions as it comes up.

Stuff is just stuff but I'm keeping (at this point) my good china & silver for the road along with my paper plates! We're keeping Jessie's beautiful vase he bought with his mom, selling his 400 piece collection of horse brasses for scrap because we couldn't find any other outlet, and making those choices as we get ready to fulltime in two months. But it feels easier every day.

Thank you all for your sharing.

Sherry

Delaine and Lindy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Believe me it's just as emotional when you retire from RVing. Bitter sweet selling the Mobile Suites... But you will be fine. Happy Trails...

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Yes Delaine & Lindy, I've read several of our family on here who have had to get off the road, it must be very difficult! We're glad that those of you who have still participate and share your wisdom!

Sherry

LeO · RV-Dreams Community Member

Darrell & Judy,

You are our kindred spirits. Our too large (4987sf) S&B went on the market 4/15/2013! I'm glad to see we're not alone as we wrestle the various issues and steps needed to pursue this FT dream born 9 short MO's ago!

Also, glad to know so many other believer's will be out and about. So how does everyone manage without a S&B church home?

Thanks for sharing your individual journey's one and all. The wisdom you impart is invaluable to newbs like us!

You also may have seen my "Are we insane" post over on RV-net!

Good night, sleep tight one and all,

LeO Sherwood,Oregon

Soulsearcher · RV-Dreams Family Member

I do believe i was one of the lucky ones....lived in my home for 20 years, put it on the Market in sept 2012, sold it and closed on it october 2012.....sold all my goodies, and what I didn't sell, I gave away or donated.

Never looked back. Don't miss a thing. Never thought I could do that.....I was ALWAYS one of those gals that would have a yard sale, and then wander through my own sale, picking up items that I thought I should keep just a little bit longer.....afterall, I really could lose a lot of weight and that skirt would really look quite stunning.......Used to irritate my son to heck!!

That was yesterday's me...........now I can part with things in a snap!!

Practice makes perfect..........and so does very limited storage space!!!

biggrin

Carol

stockmanbelle · RV-Dreams Community Member

Moved from a 3500 sf house to a 2000 sf town home to a 988 sf house getting rid of stuff each time. Oddly liberating. We have moved 15 times in 30 years of marriage. May have a offer coming in on our business and they may want to buy our house too. Small town, not much real estate available. The only things that will be hard to let go is some of the art work, some books, and boxes of family pictures. Have always been a gypsy...even our friends call us that. But I love the idea that I will be able to take "home" with me and that the kids are not going to have to go through a huge house full of stuff should something happen to us. We have our memories...at long last we will have our freedom.

LeO · RV-Dreams Community Member

Most of these posts are quite old, but still so very relevant; and I'm glad you keep them for the hand holding wisdom they provide. Especially love Ann's: Our treasures are in heaven, not in earthly possessions! Thanks all. I pray life on or off the road is as beautiful now as when you first posted! I still like to refer to them to help keep the dream alive. The S&B sale is just not happening yet; waiting is difficult, but necessary I guess!

LeO

Queennonna · RV-Dreams Community Member

We are so excited as well as extremelly sad to selling the house and all the memories of 45 years! The house goes on the market in about two months. My husband retires in 2015 after 30 years with his company, he has been traveling all over the world gone from home and missing out on our children's activities as well as illnesses!

We were not going to purchase our coach until he retired but the opportunity arose and the price was right! It has truly changed our life and plans. Since we purchased our coach in March we have made it a priority to travel for two weeks a month!

We have started emptying cuboards and eliminating now, first the things that don't count, now it's getting down to the memories! Our children have picked the things they want but their houses are full already so it's donating time!

We have moved 21 times around California, Georgia and Alabama! We are looking forward to traveling around the rest of this wonderful country of ours!

French Bikers · RV-Dreams Family Member

Linda I'm taking good note of your topic and will keep it in mind, has we should go fulltime within 24 months. We've been living in a house for more than 25 years, eveytime we sold a house my wife had a hard time but this time it will be more than the house factor. I know she will have a hard time and mix emotion and I think I will also go through that state of mind, this is why we have already started to give and sell some of our stuff, I surely don't want to wait one month before the departure to start selling or giving away. About the family well I'm telling myself they live their life and I live mine, about the friends well I won't see them as much has I would like but I will make other friends on the road. I think the toughest part will be our two sons , I'm telling myself instead of having them at the house for christmas they will come see us under the sun and not under the snow.