Regrets - RV-Dreams Community Forum

Don Buzan · RV-Dreams Community Member

Regrets

shejake · RV-Dreams Community Member

Hi Don,

We have been fulltimers for a little over a year and nothing could get us back into a house! We love taking our "house" with us and we love using every bit of space. Everything is within a few steps. We found we rambled around the big stick house and only used 3 rooms.

We also love having new neighbors all the time. No Regrets!!!!

Linda & Doug

jomago · RV-Dreams Family Member

Don't think it was regrets but have known several older couples who had been fulltiming for years and decided to get a permenent residence. Maybe due more to age and medical.

They don't have any regretes for all the advrentures, memories, and enjoyment from fulltiming. Most wanted a home base and are RV'ing for only a few months at a time. They can also do shorter trips to unite with friend/family.

Live your dreams while you can. The following expresses my thoughts/sentiments.

A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment, its glory and beauty belongs to our world...

But then it flies on again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it.

RVDude · RV-Dreams Family Member

For an adventure ended story you might find the blog at www.roadsweetroad.com interesting. Though a young traveller, she deciced to end her journey earlier this year and speaks frankly about her decisions. There is some good insight and perspective.

Future Fulltimers · RV-Dreams Family Member

I know that this is an old topic, but since I am new to the board, it is new to me. I have come across a few websites of those who gave up the fulltiming lifestyle when they found the place they wanted to settle down. A couple websites/blogs that show how and why they went from fulltiming to a stick home are: http://www.movinon.net/Movinonmainmenu.htm and http://www.amroad.com/weblog-6-06.shtml . In these cases the couple had found during their travels the place they were looking for to settle down.

For many fulltiming is a complete change in lifestyle and for others it is simply a part of the journey of life in which they are searching for the right area in which to start a next chapter. Often finances and/or health will force the fulltiming to come to an end, but at least they have the memories of the experiences gained during fulltiming.

Steve

bjoyce · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have friends that found that full-timing did not work for them for various reasons. It doesn't work for everyone. Sometimes the reasons are family related like being needed to care for someone.
We also know of people who settled back down and didn't like it and went back on the road.
My main advice is to not spend all your money to become a full-timer, unless you are young. Older people need an exit plan in case it doesn't work out, health or family matters interfere, or you happen upon that perfect place to live you didn't expect to find. Younger ones have the energy and time to start over if needed.
None of the people we know who gave up full-timing regret giving it a try, but I am sure there are people out there who do have regrets.

rolo9999 · RV-Dreams Community Member

We were young full-timers (36 & 37) when we left Michigan in Oct. '05. We never planned to be on the road forever, just for a year or two with the goal of finding a place out west to settle down. We were on the road for a year, then stopped in Tucson to live and work in our RV for 6 mos. After that we parked the RV outside of Denver while we waited (4 mos.) for our house to be built. As of today, we are officially living and owning a house again.

I loved our time on the road, but I missed having friends our age, a community, and the solid walls of a house. Most of the people we met on the road (other than Howard & Linda) were 20-30 years older than us, sometimes older than our parents!

Now we're in Denver, making friends and I've realized a life long dream of owning a horse. While I wouldn't trade or year on the road for anything, I'm a happy former camper in Denver.

OH....and by the way. We bought a paired home, which is sort of an attached condo, so NO YARD WORK! biggrin

-- Edited by rolo9999 at 21:26, 2007-08-03

Jim01 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Through the years, we have known a few couples who have had regrets.

One couple just plain couldn't get along with each other in such close quarters.

Another couple couldn't stand being away from their grand kids.

Another couple tried to full-time while maintaining a house, and found they couldn't afford to keep the house and full-time, so they decided to move back to the house instead of selling it.

Still another couple quit because, (in my opinion), the wife never really wanted to full-time in the first place. She went along with it because her husband wanted to "live the lifestyle". She did nothing but complain every time we saw them.

In each of the cases, one spouse didn't want to quit, and the other one did.

Before you get too far into planning to full-time, sit down and talk to your spouse. Lay everything out on the table. Don't hold any fears or questions back, and then, if you both still think it's a good idea, go for it.

If you have questions, ask. This web site is great and I think most questions can been answered here. But, if you can't find what you need, check out other forums, such as the Escapees forum at www.escapees.com . The answers are out there, you just have to do some research.

We have full-timed for over 6 years, and have no plans to stop. We realize that some day we'll have to "hang up the keys", but until that day comes, we'll just keep following our dreams, with no regrets. smile

Jim

Speedhitch · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have been planning this since 1974. I think we have our minds made up by now. We plan on fulltiming until the kids park us somewhere and take the keys away....but we will still be fulltiming and loving it. What better way to end your life....exploring the country with the one you love!

Joe

Darrell and Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have some fulltiming friends who purchased a condo near their children (grand children) about a year ago. They fulltimed for a few years but will now just do extended travel. My presception is that he would like to continue to fulltime, but she needs to be closer to the kids (especially grand kids). They have no regrets with their fulltiming experience but have just determined what their life preferences/priorities are.

Fulltiming is not an exact science. Sometimes it takes time to discover who you really are. We started fulltiming before we could actually retire thinking that workamping for half the time and traveling for the other half would work for us. However, we have discovered that we don't want to workamp that much (it is still a J-O-B). Also, we discovered that enjoyed the social times and camaraderie that we had in our seasonal campround back in Michigan more than we thought. Therefore, we have taken a five year lease on a site in Alabama that we will use as a home base and from which we will do extended travel. We have no desire to move back into a house or a condo and no regrets in going fulltime, it was the best decision that we could have made and we are extremely happy with it.

You have to realize that when you decide to fulltime that you will most likely not have all of the answers but that the odds are in your favor that you will not regret the decision. You, as does everyone, will continue to discover who you are and will make the adjustments as you go (no matter what lifestyle you live). This is the fun and exciting part of the fulltiming lifestyle. It would be boring if you had all of the answers up front and it would take the excitment out of the experience. The discovery process is what keeps us young at heart and gives us the desire to stay active and involved in life.

So, if you really, really feel that you would like to make the transition to this lifestyle then take time to answer the basic questions like compatability, finances, residency, insurance, what type of rig, etc. and don't worry about dotting every "i" and crossing every "t" - ' cause it can't be done. Remember, the odds are in your favor that you will not regret your decision.

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Regrets well this is a very touchy subject for me not so much for DH. We have full timed since last Oct. If I WERE to do it all over again I would still like to have a home. However, that is not affordable for us with the rv. So "YES" I am being honest when I type this I have "regrets".
southwestjudy & Bob & 2blackdogs

blijil · RV-Dreams Family Member

If you want to keep the house and can afford it, then keep the house.
If you want to keep a condo and travel most of the time then do it.
If you want to maintain a string of time shares to supplement their RV lifestyle.
If you want to .....

Don't get hung up by what everyone else is doing. Just make a plan that suits you and have a ball seeing the beauty of our country and more. Sometimes the hardest thing is to be flexible enough to enjoy the lifestyle without being constrained by some imaginary rules. Everyone seems to know what you ought to do but they really don't, only you know what will work for you and you have every right to make all of those decisions. You will change your mind and adjust your plan constantly but you probably will only have regrets if you let someone else tell you what to do.

We have learned some incredibly creative ideas on how to handle holidays, children, grand children, nesting instincts, etc etc. Fulltimers are very creative and adaptable and a source of great ideas and experiences which can be used to work into our plans. Some will work better than others and so we will change as needs occur.

No regrets with this life, but quite a few modifications in the plan.
Larry and Jacki

Fly Buoy V · RV-Dreams Family Member

I went to the website you posted but all that was there were ads for RV parks...no blog.

skidrowe · RV-Dreams Community Member

My wife and I went fulltiming at age 46. We discovered that I had done most of the "planning" all through our marriage....not just the fulltiming portion. (I have a good friend who criticizes me every time I say the word "plan"!) Our fulltiming existence lasted only three months, and highlighted our differences....and problems. We're still working through to some resolution and balance. In fact, I'm experimenting with solo RVing for the summer. So look for me!!!

ahoweth · RV-Dreams Family Member

Life and the way we live our lives is a very personal thing. Yes some folks have regrets and some don't. In reality whether we have regrets or not is very much like any other decision you may make in your life. Everyone makes mistakes in their lives. Hopefully they will be small ones. The full time life style is not necessarily for everyone. Many folks need more structure and stability in their lives for them to feel comfortable and secure, many folks find the freedom and lack of structure and security fits them just fine. Whether the full time lifestyle fits you is strictly up to you and what you make it. That is okay. It is not a bad thing.

Donna162 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Old topic but felt I needed to add our "short adventure" to the "regrets" side of the river. Regret is not so much on my part as of my partner's....he hates it and we are on our way back to our past home town to either buy a house or build one.....selling the 5th wheel in the process. I was the one planning for this for at least 2 years and he had agreed to try it. I think I knew he had some reservations but my experiences with him travelling had been positive ones and since he was a retired OTR truck driver, I thought we would be fine. He would have the knowledge of the mechanics of things and know where we should go and where we should not. After 3 weeks of being out "on-the-road", we are miserable. He wants to go home and is depressed and me because he is so unhappy. So, "my dream" goes to the wayside and we'll head home. I do not regret selling the big house and all my "stuff"; I do regret that he felt like he needed to sell so many of his things that he really didn't need to. My plans are to only fine something small that will allow me to travel on my own while he stays at home and waits for me to return. I'll probably not be travelling by RV but I will be travelling and visiting the wonderful places to be seen in the USA.

The whole point of this post is to say that both of you, if you are a couple, need to be COMPLETELY on board with the plan!!!!!

liketowin · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have been planning this adventure for a couple of years. We went through different emotions as we were planning and coming close to our plans being fulfilled. We sold our house and that was an experience more for my husband than myself. He had a difficult time giving up his ivory tower. However we then decided to keep one home that our son is renting right now. We have an escape just in cause things don't work out for us. We put all of our stuff in storage just in case. My hubbie felt better about our decision and honestly so did I. You never know when something will happen. We wanted to be sure we could go back and have a home to go to. Our son will stay in the house until July and then we will take it over and close it up for 6 months when we are away.
We have been in Florida now for 3 weeks. We had first decided to travel from one place to another. We then decided to have a homebase and travel from there. We need some roots of some kind. Having an address is comforting as well.
Everyone has to find what works for them. I think we have found our comfort zone. Getting along is really important also. We have our moments but nothing serious. Our living accomodations are smaller than what we are use to for sure. We also decided that we should have separate activites to give each other some space. This works for us and keeps us on even ground.
We are enjoying our new adventures and hope to do this for years to come.

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Donna glad to see I am not alone on the full-timing RV life. I also have been reading about people calling it "reversing Rv'ing." Giving it up as it was not for them. True it is not for everyone. However, as of now I am seeing a "light " with the way the economy is with not having a home. So shall see what DH and I do later as far as getting back into a stick-n-brick.
southwestjudy

Ann and Steve · RV-Dreams Family Member

A truely wonderful thread. A joy to read. It makes our decision appear so much better. The FT idea is Ann's. Purging our possessions was her idea. Dumping the condo is her idea. And she has my 110% support. We've owned 3 houses and a condo and I hated every one of them. The lawn, the painting, the broken appliances, cracked sidewalks, continual maintenance - I hated all of it.

My profession allows me to move freely about the country and going FT to travel while working was her idea. And, luckily, Ann is my very best friend (but she doesn't like it when I wake her with ad libbed song lyrics). And, we have an exit strategy as part of the plan. We'll FT for 5-7 years then park the 5er, build a 5er "extension" and live there for the remainder. This is because, by then, I'll be eligible for retirement and concede that I'll be getting too old to hustle a 36' Fleetwood and truck all over the place.

Jack Mayer · RV-Dreams Family Member

This whole thread just brings up again the point that both partners really have to agree that fulltiming is what they want to do. And even more important is that each individual really has to understand what is important to them in their current life, and decide if they can get that from the fulltiming lifestyle.

Many people need the "things" that they have aquired in order to validate their life. There is nothing wrong with that, but if you are not honest about it you are doomed to failure as a fulltimer.

For those on the road having doubts I would offer the following.

First, you have to give it some time. At least a year, IMO. But during that time you have to be honest with each other about what travel style you are comfortable with. Some people like to move a lot. Some people like a base for a month or more and then move. Some people start out right away as seasonal travelers - spending a season in one place to get the "home" feeling" and then moving someplace else they both like. You just need to be honest and figure out what works for you. There is no "right way" to fulltime.

If you feel you are missing something then it is wise to try to figure out what the root of that is. This requires more introspection than some people are used to - especially guys. (Not everyone is Howard smile

)

In talking to people over the years on the road we have found that for most it takes at least 6-9 months for the "rig" to start feeling like "home". Some never get there, and they usually leave the road in the first year.

-- Edited by Jack Mayer at 07:43, 2008-11-12

Jim01 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jack, I think you've "hit the nail on the head".

I would like to add, that is very necessary to be flexible in your Full-timing lifestyle. Through the years, Linda and I have changed the way we travel, the amount of time we spend at parks, and the places we want to visit. Nothing should be carved in stone.

Just the other day, Linda and I were talking about our travel plans as we head from California, (where we are at now), to Florida, where we need to be, for doctors appointments in the spring. Linda said that she would like to travel for a few days and then stop for a few days, instead of traveling a lot of days in a row, and then stopping for awhile. There was not a problem with that idea, as far as I was concerned, so being that all our plans are in pencil, We got out the big eraser and made some changes.

One other thing I think is very necessary to the lifestyle, is to make the decision to use the words, "us" and "we" instead of "me" and "I". Almost everything you do affects your partner while full-timing, and both of you need to make all the decisions on where you are going, how long you will stay, what you will do when you get there, and the way you will get there.

Be flexible, accept change, and enjoy life.

Full-Timing is great! biggrin

4x4given · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hmmm well, I think right now, our regerets are kind of reversed. In 26 years we have had:

Roommate in a shared (SMALL) house
Small rent house
Larger rent house
Mobile home and lot (owned)
Stick-n-brick
Small rent house
Large rent house
Stick-n-brick
Large Stick-n-brick
(3 failed to finish building stick-n-bricks)
Rent house
Medium Stick-n-brick

And that's starting out with two daughters, having-raising two more and now raising two 14 year old grandkids.

Tina and I are best friends and lovers. I have to say, we aren't really too stafisfied with the great "American dream" of owning your own home. In fact, looking back we have a LOT of regrets! Now, we are looking forward to and actively planning to get out of this "rat race" and become FT's. We're a few years out, as we need to get the two grandkids either up an running on their own, or back with their families.

But from that point on, it's only "stuff". And less "stuff" = more of each other. :) :)

We research, we read, we go look at, we talk about, we even dream about making the shift to FT lifestyle.

Regrets? yep! But only because we have wasted so much of our lives NOT being FT's!!!!

-- Edited by 4x4given at 20:33, 2008-11-13

nwlambear · RV-Dreams Family Member

Wonderful thoughts and comments everyone!! For my husband and I giving up "stuff" is harder for me than him. But I've come a long way. I've been "downsizing" for years. Special family items..some furniture and other items..jewelry...things I treasure because they were in the family and have history...all have been given to our children. Now I'm down to very special items....items with special memories of my life journey...especially with my husband and children. They might have to go in a box...carefully wrapped...and handed over to our children for safekeeping. Now....stuff is not as important as living the rest of my life out....with my husband....doing what we always talked about and dreamed about doing....RVing around America! We plan on spending quality time with our children and grandchildren in their respective areas of the country that they live. As long as our health holds out and we get the medical care we need...whenever and wherever that may be...we'll just keeping enjoying the blessings of life...travel...and seeing the awesome beauty of our wonderful country... We are planning on trying to keep our home/property here in WA for at least a couple of years. Once sold that money will go into our "in case there comes a time when we need to turn in our keys to the truck and 5ver" fun. We've talked about it and decided that if DH goes before me...the chances are I couldn't do it on my own and would more than likely move closer to one of my children. If I am the first to go....DH more than likely will continue full-timing. Time will tell. Let's pray we will have many, many years ahead to follow our dream! It's been soooooo long coming!! Thinking of all of you...Happy Trails! Note: See (I think its on here) of "NWlambear". I've had the clipping/photo for years...The picture has a "lamb" and a "bear" arm in arm looking towards the future (sky,clouds)and above their heads it is written "somewhere....somehow.....someway".

pierreandcolleen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Although my husband and I will stop fulltiming by the end of the summer, there are no regrets - just lots of great memories. Although I think fulltiming is great (no property tax, no lawn to mow, new scenery as often as we wish, million dollar views for $20 per night). At the age of 36 I have never owned a home (since high school I haven't lived in the same place for more than 3 years) - so I am looking forward to settling down for awhile and returning to work. We will continue to RV when we can and when I retire I would consider returning to fulltime RVing.

-Colleen

phyllen · RV-Dreams Family Member

We had planned to start FTing in Jan. Due to various reasons, it was put off until October. (Once again counting the days!!)

We are selling our house to my younger daughter. We have been living in our fiver since Janauary and we LOVE it. Funny, when we go over to the house I think - Poor Terri and Steve - look at the two acres they have to mow, look at the big house to clean, look at the branches and twigs to pick up every time there is a wind, look at the flower beds to week, etc etc. Most of all - LOOK AT THE BILLS!

Another benefit of FTing. My daughters are in NJ and MD. Len's kids in Alabama, Lousiana and Texas. Lots of places to visit!

So - living in the fiver these past months has been a plus. We are used to it and settled in before actually taking off. In a sense we are fulltiming while still working. AND we sure don't miss the house.

Phyllis

TnT · RV-Dreams Community Member

This is a great thread! It has given me lots of food for thought. Thanks everyone for sharing.

Tracie

foxriverguy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Regrets??

Most definitely.

I regret:

Not being able to do this sooner

Buying many, many "things" that I realy did not need

Mallo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Regrets...

I don't really have anything to add just my observations from reading this thread and a lot of others.

We discuss the evolution of our RVing on at least a weekly basis no surprises is our goal. We'll see how things go.

For those saying they have no regrets I have to wonder if there isn't an aspect of it being the right time in ones life.

We look at the Hitchhiker we own and easily see ourselves living here.

We look at the truck we own and easily see ourselves moving around the country chasing spring or fall.

But I remember when we first met and looked at RV's. We were interested we even wanted one but there was nothing we could afford that we would of wanted to live in. 25 years latter buying something we could live in was the goal when we started shopping in a serious way.

Even 10 years ago I'm not sure this would be the right option

Then there is the aspect of roots. My wife when we met had deep roots in the area. My one sister can't help but put down roots where ever she goes. This concept would be hell for my sister and would not of worked for a long time for my wife.

Time though has eroded those roots holding us in place. The RV builders are building units more comfortable then our first apartment together.

When I read cases of failed full timers I see two things happening.

Either it's too soon, the RV cannot live up to the needs of the people trying to live in it. Not enough room, not the right floor plan, not able to go and be all things people want it to be. Or too soon in that one's roots are too deep. The need for place, family, and yes items.

Or it's too late. My father would of loved this, the idea of full timing had never occured to him but if it had he would of been on the road as soon as he applied for his pension. He died before he could retire. How many people post that they dreamed for weeks, months, years to do this and then she got sick or he got sick or one of them passed.

The one thing we both agree on is we don't want to be in the position of wanting something and at least not trying it. What's the worst that can happen?

Mallo

-- Edited by Mallo on Monday 6th of July 2009 12:35:34 PM