A touch of fear! - RV-Dreams Community Forum

JackKim · RV-Dreams Family Member

A touch of fear!

BugSplatter07 · RV-Dreams Family Member

A touch of fear is a good thing, everyone has had it at some point in their travels. My wife is the same way you are when we relocate from place to place. Your hubby will travel at a speed he is comfortable with. Leave the driving up to him and you enjoy the site seeing during your ride. Plan your routes so you guys don't have to be in much traffic. One thing to remember is to take it slow and arrive a day later than expected.

My wife and I have an agreement; she packs the trailer for transport, and I do the transporting. Cause when I start telling her how to pack things or when she starts telling me how to drive its never good. Nothing has ever broke during our travels and we have never be in a accident during moving so we leave one another alone to their thing. LOL
-----Wayne

Kim,

I was just taking a nap (getting some alone time) and when I woke up my husband had typed the above response and said, "doesn't that sound like us?" and chuckled.

Just so you know, you are braver than I because I have never pulled the fifth wheel and pray to God I never do!! Just the thought makes me my stomach turn. Wayne used to encourage/push me into driving it so I COULD if need be but the anxiety was not worth it. We agreed we would tackle that if it ever arises and came to the agreement he said above. Life is soooo much happier now!!

I am a creature of habit, routine, and order which you have to mostly let go of when you live full time in an RV. Something is generally giving you fits in this unique little world. It's easy to get frustrated and feel inadequate. My best advice is open communication with your sweet husband;enjoy the grand adventures you are about to experience (we are all so blessed for that) and don't forget to spend time by yourself, you will both be better for it. We are excited for you guys and wish you the best!!!
-------Sandra

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim,
I did that (fear of what was ahead) for two years went back and forth before we decided to go full-time. Part was I would miss my house and all my stuff (only time I have was when I have had bad bronchitis and didn't have a spare bedroom to go sleep in so I wouldn't keep my husband awake). But it's been mostly a non-issue. I am going to a RV Driving school to learn how to drive and handle our rig and to save our marriage😄 just in case.

I have no idea what kind of rig you're driving or how long set up or tear down takes - 15 minutes max for us. It's really easier to us than living in a home and doing all the home maintenance and we've found workamping to be fun! Please know that this lifestyle is not for everyone, you sound as if you really don't love this life and it's ok if you don't. No harm, no foul. Know that his post comes from folks who have moved a lot and lived in many environments, you may not have done so and that's ok.

You just want to be honest with yourselves and each other to decide what's right for you.

Sherry

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim,

A bit of fear is a natural thing, so it really just comes down to learning to live with things to minimize that fear. As for the concerns with towing on the road, try to limit yourselves on your time of travel. Since we don't know what you did in your previous outings, it is hard to say for sure what to do. I would suggest following a formula that many others try to adhere to, and that is to travel only about 200 miles, be in one's next site by 2:00 in the afternoon (give or take some time), and to allow yourself more time staying in one place. While many try to stay at least 2 days, that short of time won't allow much in the way of earning cash or compensating for one's site.

For that, you may have to stay longer periods of time so that you can look for some work. If you are in large metropolitan areas, look for services that are looking for employees for temporary work. I used to work at a distribution point that hired temps for unloading trucks that came in with goods. I'm not sure that we every had any of those temps that stayed more than a day or two. Maybe they just didn't like the physical nature of the work?

Do either of you have a skill that would allow you to earn a little, such as hair dressing or RV repair? When you have a chance, talk with other campers and ask them what any of them may do.

The only real advice I can give is to not let the fear "cripple" you and make your worry excessive. You may find that as you continue with the new lifestyle that your fears will dissipate to a very manageable situation.

Terry

Camper Chronicles · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Kim,

I am an anxious person by nature and I am hoping that full timing will lessen the fears in my life. That being said I know myself well enough that I may just transfer my anxiety to FT issues rather than my previous worries. So in my cAse if I am going to worry anyways ( which is likely) I'd rather worry about about an adventure than the same old mundane. I worry about my job constantly so why not worry about my job having some choice in where I work and when. I worry about the weather, but I'd rather do it in a beautiful setting than here...you know what I mean??? And maybe just maybe once I get out there I will worry less. Even if I don't I truly believe my life will be so much better living it on my terms that the worry will be worth it.

Jo and Ben · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim, I think some fear/anxiety about embarking on this journal is perfectly normal! When I start feeling anxious about what we are setting out to do I try to just remind myself that if it doesn't work out, we will just settle back down again. Do you know what specifically is causing you anxiety? Sometimes it is helpful for me to really examine what the fear(s) is all about and think about what solutions there would be for worst case scenarios. I like what Trace says, too. If I'm going to worry, I will worry whether I am living in my house or on the road in my RV :)
Jo

JackKim · RV-Dreams Family Member

Good morning everyone,

Thanks for the encouragement........Wayne, I shared with my husband what you said about leaving the driving to him and he just smiled smile I am sure he appreciates that advice more than me. Lol

Sandra, I do a little driving, but not the parking. I am not scared of the driving itself, I think it is just getting used to the awesome weight behind us all the time and the simple worries that something might happen.......it is strange Trace, but I am not a worrier by nature and I think this is why I needed the encouragement. Where is this coming from?

I know it will get easier on the road....cause "practice makes perfect" right? Well even near perfect.

Thanks for your words Sherry.......I know I have much to learn. I would say I have loved this lifestyle so far, but the traveling is just beginning and I am looking forward to it. I think we will love it, but I guess we are just lacking the experience of it. It yet is probably the reason for my slight lack of confidence. Experience is a great teacher and I am looking forward to the tutoring process.

Thanks for the traveling advice Terry......we were planning on stopping by 2ish each day. And the travel won't be super fast due to only so much a month for fuel........i am looking forward to finding some work on the road after awhile out so I am in the process of reading and exploring all I can about it. I guess I just need a little more confidence that we will be able to find something that works for us. Again I am sure some experience in doing it will alleviate my worries.

Thanks again everyone for your advice. I treasure it when people share with me their experience, strength, & hope.

Enjoy the day wherever the road has brought you to. It is rainy here in Oregon......shocking I know! wink

Blessings, Kim

-- Edited by JackKim on Sunday 9th of March 2014 09:20:58 AM

Barbaraok · RV-Dreams Family Member

BOTH partners should know how to do all of the jobs involved in fulltiming - including driving. You can do it, it just takes some practice. Yes, it is normal to be anxious about doing new things. As you do them, it will become easier and easier to do. I drive about 1/3 of the time, first few times I was worried the whole time - but the next time it was easier, and the next it was even more comfortable to be in the driver's seat.

We've been on the road for 8 years - and yes, I still worry about things. It is scary to go out into the 'unknown', but at the same time, it can also be so rewarding. If you are worried about your budget, take a look at it and see what you can cut back on right now and do that and see how it goes for awhile as you put that amount away.

Barb

Jack Mayer · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have been fulltime 14 years. A little bit of worry is normal. Worry to the point of it affecting your life needs to be addressed - if that is the case you need to explore what the root cause is. But it sounds like you are just anxious about something new. Which is normal.

I want to STRESS (no pun intended) that making sure your travel day is relatively short and that you know where you are going....the route...will easy the travel day some. Google earth/maps is your "friend". Street View allows you to see the actual road - so you can look at intersections or suspicious areas. And I STRONGLY recommend that you travel at comfortable speeds - but not to exceed 62-65 mph, if the speed limits allow. There is no great hurry, and if you are not used to travelling with a large RV that will help immensely.

From a budget perspective, think of it this way. You would have the same income if you were in a fixed location. It does not HAVE to cost more to travel - the major cost of travel is the fuel, so simply move less. Workamping jobs are easy to find, and that is another complete topic.

JackKim · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks for reminding me Jo, that we do have an exit plan.......we will just come home if it does not work. Although I am pretty confident that it will work. I am looking forward to seeing what is beyond the next hill! And the next and the next. It isn't the beyond that scares me.....it is the 7% grade up and down each side that causes me the angst I think.....hehehehehe

Thanks for reminding me Barbara about the practice. I think that might be part of my worry. I am trying to learn all aspects of the driving too. Set up and tear down as well. I think we both need to be prepared for all situations. Maybe that is part of my angst that I am feeling un confident that I would be able to do it if something happens.

So unlike me since I have always relished challenges...

I guess I will chalk it up to menopause since I have been blaming all my whacky behavior on it anyway confuse

Kim

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim, we blame menopause for absolutely everything, too. There are really only two kinds of roads that make her crazy, shelf roads in the mountains and tall bridges. I try to avoid those as much as possible. In the big rig you have to take the larger roads so most of her fears are easy to avoid. She may feel better in the big truck. She hasn't had the opportunity to ride any distance in it yet.

Sounds like you don't feel safe in the rig. Maybe with time you will grow to trust that it is a safe vehicle. It makes sense to me. Proceed slowly and enjoy the parts you can. Learn about your fears and maybe you can overcome them.

Jo And Craig · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim, do you have or use the Mountain Directory? If not, check it out online at http://www.mountaindirectory.com/. (Help, Terry!) Anyway, there is an East and a West directory for separate sections of the United States. It shows the grades all over the place... where the steep grades are and what areas one should avoid. This will probably help immensely from reading your posts.

Also, every time you go to worry you might want to ask yourself... what is there to worry about before it's even time to worry? Why waste all those precious moments worrying needlessly? Don't let worry rob you of this great adventure... or any part of it! A little "concern" is perfectly understandable as a newbie, but things will improve with time. Compare it to being comfortable with a car you have owned for years and then driving a new car. Weird, eh? Same difference. We have all been in your shoes, or will be one day. It just comes with the territory. So, relax... and don't forget to b-r-e-a-t-h-e!!! Good luck!

LeO · RV-Dreams Community Member

Kim,
I for sure am your fellow worry wart:
A couple things that have helped (not cured mind you, but manages) is Inspirational speaker Zig Zigler's acronym for FEAR= False Evidence Appearing REAL!

And my husband's favorite saying "Worry, is interest on trouble, before it's due" which is supremely true and I must remind myself constantly.
Have you listed all your fears on paper along with possible solutions?

We're still stuck in our S&B with no sale in sight; so my thrills are vicarious through all of you! Thanks for that!

God bless and happy travels!
LeO Sherwood,Oregon

WendysPhotos · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim

It is very understandable about the fear of driving something so big and intimidating. I have drove everything from a semi on down. The best advice ever given to me about a new type of vehicle was to take it out to a big empty parking lot without many light poles and play around. Bring cones or chalk and make lines and curves and practice backing and turning. Generally just get the feel. Then you go out on an not very used road and just drive and practice again. Pretty soon it will be like second nature to you and you will be wanting to drive as much as the other half.

Just remember when turning a 5'ver that the trailer tires always cut in more than the pulling vehicles wheels, so to keep from clipping corners always give yourself a couple more feet in the turn. Backing is just an art that you have to practice over and over.

Wendy

TRAILERKING · RV-Dreams Family Member

www.drivesaferv.com/
www.rvbasictraining.com/
www.rvschool.com/

There are lots of sites on the 'NET.
These are just a few ways to get you into "Safely" operating your RV, for yourself and others around you................... Then get proper licensing.

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

There are a few basic rules to driving an RV, especially a trailer or fiver.

- Don't drive faster than you can stop. Adjust your speed for conditions.
- Slow down when in heavy traffic.
- Speed limit signs were designed for cars without trailers. It is the maximum not the minimum.
- Always know what's going on all around you...check both mirrors every 10 to 15 seconds.
- Use ALL the space you are given... when turning, backing, maneuvering.
- Remember, not only are you long but you are tall. 13'6" is what you need to be safe.
- Every time you connect up, check your lights, tires, brakes, and connection point. Do not assume that because they worked last time they are working this time. You double check the door lock on your refrigerator, why not put as much effort into your safety equipment?

I see a lot of weekend warriors out there driving a big RV as if they were still in the BMW. If you are one of those, please ensure your deductible is an amount you can afford.

TRAILERKING · RV-Dreams Family Member

^^^What MarkS said.........^^^

kb0zke · RV-Dreams Family Member

Kim, as everyone has pointed out, a certain amount of fear is normal. Once you are settled into your full-time life you won't worry as much about some of the things that bother you now. Of course, there may be new things to worry about <grin> but that's life.

So far I've done all of the driving of our Foretravel. Jo Ann says she will (eventually) but isn't ready to try it yet. That's fine. When the time comes, we'll take the coach to an empty parking lot and let her slowly drive it around. She was nervous the first time she drove the car with the mpg behind it, but after a few miles she was comfortable.

Knowing how tall your rig is is VERY important. Search Utube for video of people who don't know. Even then, if you have a long-wheelbase coach like ours you may need even more clearance than what you think. Sometimes the road under a railroad bridge is V-shaped, with the clearance measured from the roadbed directly up to the bridge. With the front tires going up the far side and the back tires still going down the near side the point halfway between the tires can be quite a ways up in the air. Some day I'm going to calculate what that distance is for our coach. Then I can figure exactly what my minimum clearance number is. Yes, there will be several inches added to the calculated minimum.

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

I have the same driving fears. My plan is that we will use one of the driving schools that come to meet you at your rig wherever you are so that we don't have to get behind the wheel until we've had some lessons!

JackKim · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thank you sooooooo much everyone. Your tips, ideas, and honesty has made me relax. we are taking a weekend jaunt on Thursday so that will be the test of my resolve to not let fear control me. I am not normally a worrier or too fearful. just last week got me for some reason. I think in part it is due to this being such an extreme change in our lives. I have faith that we are heading the right way so I will remember that when that nagging fear pops up. And I will enjoy the Ride and the Drive! Lol

Blessings to you all and thanks for taking the time to respond and encourage.

Kim

BiggarView · RV-Dreams Family Member

kb0zke wrote:

...if you have a long-wheelbase coach like ours you may need even more clearance than what you think. Sometimes the road under a railroad bridge is V-shaped, with the clearance measured from the roadbed directly up to the bridge. With the front tires going up the far side and the back tires still going down the near side the point halfway between the tires can be quite a ways up in the air...

I had not considered that aditional clearance to pay attention to, so I did the math

...based on 300 inch wheel base(not counting any tag axle is long I know, but for the sake of discussion) with 3 degree entry and exit angles with the center as the the bridge vertical clearance you would need an additional 9.5 inches approximately. At a more reasonable 1 degree entry and exit angle you are still looking at approx 3 inches additional clearance. A shorter wheelbase is proportionately less additional clearance needed.

Most underpasses(where you actually descend to go under then climb back up have a short section that is nearly flat so the "V" issue is still a potential issue but not as drastic as the first example and probably not even the second. Still, going under any bridge where the posted clearance is close to your rig's height is iffy at best and a downright bad idea most times if you aren't prudently alert and cautious. FWIW

TRAILERKING · RV-Dreams Family Member

This comes to mind.

earthmommy · RV-Dreams Family Member

TRAILERKING wrote:
This comes to mind.

How does the driver with the 5th wheel not notice that he just tore off his air conditioner????

Back in the late 90's I was an EMT at a local volunteer rescue station. We had one of the largest advanced life support trucks in the area, it was about the size of a small Class C. I was terrified learning to drive it, but once I took the EVOC (emergency vehicle operators course) class, I felt more confident. I was still nervous though, until I got used to it. I think some fear is good though, because it makes us more vigilant and careful when we're learning, so we develop good habits, like those listed above. At least with an RV, I won't have to worry about lights and sirens and getting to a rescue call in a hurry!

For me, my only real fear about the RV life involves driving. I plan to have a smaller class c at the most, but it's still a lot bigger than I've driven in a long time so I hope to take a class or find someone local who would be willing to show me the ropes. There are some great resources on YouTube, but I don't recommend watching too many of the RV wreck videos, or that will just feed your fears.

cherylbrv - Do you have links to any of the driver training programs you mentioned, ones that come to you?

Barbaraok · RV-Dreams Family Member

Looked more like the vent covers came off, not the air conditioners. As to how he doesn't notice, he might, but there is no good place for him to pull over so he has to keep going. Or the jerk he felt wasn't strong enough to indicate that real structural damage had been done. And how do we know he didn't pull off into a parking lot a block or two ahead?

Barb

earthmommy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Good point, Barb. I was going by what the captions in the video said, I figured the shooter of the video knew, but maybe not. I rewatched and it does look like the covers, you're right. I was also thinking about how the impact would feel in the vehicle that hits, I didn't stop to consider that they were towing the 5th wheel, so what they felt might have seemed like just a bump.

I stand corrected. smile

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

earthmommy wrote:
cherylbrv - Do you have links to any of the driver training programs you mentioned, ones that come to you?

See above in this thread, the post from Trailerking. I will probably use http://www.rvbasictraining.com/.

bjoyce · RV-Dreams Family Member

When we started we went with RV Driving School. They are still around, http://www.rvschool.com/. We are friends with some of the instructors and know the former owners. (It's a part time job for everyone, the owners and instructors.)

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jack and Kim.....

The" what if's "will always be there
What if's.....
are the start of every dream
it is the standard second answer to every question
it is how things move forward

What If's are the main reason we do what we do!!!!!!!!

you will do Fine.........Pre-What if's are a good answer to a problem with a better outcome!!!!!

bjoyce · RV-Dreams Family Member

There is a scene in the recent movie, Butter, where the newly adopted girl is about to do something scary. Her father helped her by coming up with outrageous worst case scenarios. It really helped and was a cute bonding moment in the movie. Come up with those worst case scenarios and solve them. The real problems will probably be easier.

The Crumps · RV-Dreams Family Member

I hate the travel part and we've been to 32 states so far. I get so nervous, not with what we're doing but because of the crazies out there. When we come to construction areas or narrow bridges where the road is really narrow I just close my eyes. My DH lets me know when we're clear so I can relax and open my eyes. Sometimes I wish I could take a Valium or have a couple of glasses of wine to get me through the stress, but I'm the navigator so need to be alert. So, I just clench my teeth and pray. We have done as suggested and make our trips no more than 200 miles per day. That helps a lot.

It's a great life and you'll probably learn to love it. The parking part and sightseeing are awesome, and Workamping is fun, too. We also do some house sitting to change it up a little. Enjoy!

TRAILERKING · RV-Dreams Family Member

The Crumps wrote:
When we come to construction areas or narrow bridges where the road is really narrow I just close my eyes. ........................Should have a couple of glasses of wine to get me through the stress, but I'm the navigator so need to be alert.

May as well get into the wine 'cause your no good with your eyes closed anyway.

bjoyce · RV-Dreams Family Member

The Crumps: Carry some of this: http://www.amazon.com/Bach-LA-AM-FU-Rescue-Remedy-20ml/dp/B00016QT7Q It helps anxiety.

Bach Rescue Remedy

(http://www.bachflower.com/rescue-remedy-information/ is where the image came from).

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

I will never be able to empathize with your fears. I understand that you know in your heart that nothing bad will happen but, we're gonna die at the hands of an idiot on the cell phone and that conversation is over. One thing for certain is these rigs are typically bigger than a breadbox. Over time I have gotten used to hugging the K Rails to stay in my lane or running in heavy traffic at highway speeds. I worry about going straight and following the road and let others avoid hitting the trailer. The trailer is going to follow me wherever I go. DW gets antsy sometimes. She gets better everyday.

Alie and Jims Carrilite · RV-Dreams Family Member

MarkS says it right. He concentrates on moving the rig down the road, the trailer follows the truck, and people stay out of the way of the trailer.
If you trust your husbands driving, which may be the issue here, then breath, relax, and go with the flow.
Buy yourselves a big screen GPS that is easy to see and follow the lines on. Then let him navigate until he needs in town directions to the campground etc.

NOWYO · RV-Dreams Community Member

TRAILERKING wrote:
This comes to mind.

Downtown Chicago?

Mark V · RV-Dreams Family Member

I can empathize with your fears and trepidations. I began my research on RV living with a focus on fifth wheels and trailer homes, but the more I thought about it, the less enamored I was with the idea of towing 20,000 plus pounds behind a pick-up truck. I know you can go much larger with the tow vehicle, but moving all the way up to a semi would mean dedicating that rig and it's cost to the single task of hauling the RV. And to be honest, I was never really comfortable with the physics, insofar as what happens when the Fiver wants to go one way, and the truck feels like going the other. With all that weight behind you and the attendant torque it creates, methinks that the Fiver will invariably win that argument.

It was for this reason that I began looking at Class A motorhomes and Heavy Duty Class C diesels, and this is most likely the route I'll be taking.

-- Edited by Mark V on Sunday 16th of March 2014 01:36:20 PM

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Well, I suspect that brakes can fail on motorhomes as well. I certainly have seen the effect when the air brakes on an 18-wheeler wanted to go bad.

Terry

Mark V · RV-Dreams Family Member

It isn't so much the brakes I worry about; more the fact that when two "independent" vehicles of greatly different mass, attached at a single pivot point, have to make the same maneuver, in tandem, and at speed ... bad things can and do happen.

More to the point: In an accident, I'd rather take my chances trying to control and ride a single vehicle to the ground than having to worry about an additional 20,000 lbs attached to, yet independent of the one I'm driving.

-- Edited by Mark V on Sunday 16th of March 2014 03:20:22 PM

-- Edited by Mark V on Sunday 16th of March 2014 03:22:14 PM