Tears and fears . . . - RV-Dreams Community Forum

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Tears and fears . . .

bjoyce · RV-Dreams Family Member

If I was in your situation, I wouldn't even be nice about it. Your kids need to grow up and quit being so selfish. This is another part of being a parent, preparing them for when you are no longer living. Unfortunately that can happen anytime, we recently lost my father-in-law to an unexpected heart attack. If one of them took a job in another location, including another country, you would be supportive.

Racerguy · RV-Dreams Family Member

What Bill said.

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

Also, in this day and age, with internet and smartphones,email and Skype and webcams, staying in touch is almost a no-brainer. My daughter moved from NJ to NC several years ago,and I think since she moved, we've been in touch more often than before! So missing you should certainly not be a concern!

Good luck following your dream. I hope to get there sooner rather than later as well.

Loretta · RV-Dreams Family Member

Good luck to you. You two have been an inspiration and everything will work out.

karen948 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Good luck to you two!!! Can so relate to the kids issue, we struggle with that also. They will eventually accept and get use to the idea, and hopefully have more enjoyable, memorable time with you when you are around.

Best of luck,

Karen

DBEANZ · RV-Dreams Family Member

Keep a positive attitude and remember that this is your life to live not theirs. Our daughter did the same thing to me this weekend and I refuse to feel guilty. She just can't understand how we will like being in such close quarters (33 days until full time). I told her when I was her age that I wouldn't have wanted to either but she has to understand we're in a different place in our lives than they are. Like Cheryl said, with today's technology, we'll probably see them more than we do now living in the same state. I plan on doing Facetime at least once a week so we can see our grandkids. That's more than we see them now.

Ravenlotus · RV-Dreams Family Member

Yeah we actually have the opposite problem. My dad is worried and sad we are going. And I do feel bad about leaving him. But hopefully my brother and sister in law can convince him to move to Cali where they are.

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Heart wrenching all. My agony was leaving my nearly 98 year old father who is in a nursing home and on hospice, he said to me, "Don't worry about me, Honey". This was the same day he woke up "in Germany" and the same guy who has been in hospice twice before.

Really hard.

phyllen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Younger daughter was supportive, older not so much. But she's okay with it now. We've' been on road 4 years. Problem was she wanted us around for the grandkids. She had first child at age 40 and 2nd when she was almost 43. She finally remarked - maybe she should not have waited so long..... We return to the northeast often. In fact will be back next week as younger daughter is having surgery and will need someone with her as her hubby works long hours.

First year on the road, hubby's mom died. Third year mine. But we were able to be with them at the time. His in Louisiana, mine in NJ.

Things will work out for you too. It's a grand life.

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thank you - everyone - for all the encouragement and support. I appreciate all of you! I can't and won't allow the reactions, the anger, the accusations and the drama to put me on a guilt trip. This is our dream, this is our life. It will take time to heal, time to see that we are even more available than when I sat at a desk from 8 to 5 every day.

Everything will be alright in the end, and if it's not alright . . . it's not the end. (favorite line from the movie Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).

Here's to freedom, to living your dream!

Trisha

Gone in a flash · RV-Dreams Community Member

One thing good about the way we live is the fact we can be any where we want.
We haven't got to travel much due to our parents getting sick. Dad always
encouraging us to go, but we can't leave him a lone 83 4th stage cancer, copd
and other stuff. He's still working in his garden though.

jjm219 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Mine is the opposite problem. I don't want to leave my kids. They are both adults but we are so close. I lived less than a mile from my mother until she died and can't imagine not being near my kids. My daughter graduated from college last May and still hasn't found a full time job so she lives at home. She can live with her dad so that is not a problem. We talked about it a few weeks ago since we plan to go full time in a year and she said she would be fine. It's me that doesn't want to leave her. Plus I have 6 brothers and sisters that all live near me. I've never lived anywhere else. I know once we get going I'll be o.k. but it's hard to make that break. My husband is used to moving around a lot but I'm not. I am anxious to get on the road but also apprehensive.

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jane, you hit the nail on the head. It's the way you were raised, it's how YOU know to be with your family. It was interesting to me to have observed family connections, generally speaking, can be different in different regions and countries and cultures. Example Cleveland, OH: many, many people grew up there with family all around & are friends with their cousins and people they went to grade school with all lives. Many don't even travel. Florida is full of people who left their homes and countries either for opportunity or temperature. Southern California is a melting pot of people of people from all over the world who also have left their homes.

As a young bride many years ago we lived near my husband's parents, I found their interference in our lives and their opinions on child raising difficult on our new marriage. I tend to feel newly marrieds should live several states away from parents for a few years to establish their own family and bonds. That's just my opinion. It's true that a supportive network of friends and family help a couple get established.

All that said, I can't help but think this is going to be VERY DIFFICULT for you. It's one thing to move someplace as a permanent move and establishing new friendships and 'family' there to becoming a nomad. Perhaps you'll plan to workcamp and stay in one place for several months.

This is not to say that this lifestyle can't be a great adventure for you. Just some random thoughts before I finish my fist cup if coffee.

Only you can decide what's right for you.

Sherry

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

Twenty three years in the Air Force moving around. As they came of age, the kids settled wherever they felt at home so they are scattered to the four winds. We don't have a social circle where we live now and no family within ??? Miles. We don't really have a "home". Full timing means we will be closer to friends and family. Sometimes I wish we would have settled down and had one address, close family nearby, and friends all around. In the next breath, I wouldn't change a thing.

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

Run with it!!!!!....................Yes....Yes....Yess!!!!!

Dont make me stop and nudge you on the way by!!........it was your job to raise them , if your done raising them turn them into the world , you can stop to visit, and leave your contact info. If they need advice they can call.....if they need money or bailing out,they can leave it at the Beep!!(lol)....

This is your time , this part of life we earn and unfortunately it goes by quickly...seize it!!! Life your dream of leisure......you have lived your financial work life.......you have raised your family life......now live your dream!!!!

I will see you out here, dont make us come and get you!!!.....(LOL)

jjm219 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Sherry -it's so true what you said. I am from PA and most of my friends still live in this town. My kids saw their grandparents just about every day of their lives until they passed away. I was blessed with parents/in-laws that didn't go anywhere so if I needed to drop the kids I didn't even have to call. My entire family lives within an hour of each other. I'm o.k. with leaving my brothers and sisters behind, I know they'll visit wherever we are. My son lives in Philadelphia which is less than 2 hours from me so I only see him about once a month but I will miss my daughter. I was hoping she'd have a job and move away and make a life, then I wouldn't feel so bad. She has big student loans to pay and is only working part time so she won't be moving out anytime soon.

We plan to move to Florida for a few years before we can be travelers, can't quite retire yet. I am 48 and hubby is 46 but he travels for work so we can live anywhere. I will leave teaching after next year and try to find something in Fl with benefits. My MIL lives in Tampa so we will relocate close to her for a while. I want my husband to be able to spend some time with his mom.

I also have an attachment to my house. I worked hard as a single mom to buy a nice home so I feel like if I sell it I won't have anything. I know everyone goes through lots of emotions during this process but I am also very excited! Life if too short not to live an adventure.

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jane,

The only other thought I can offer is that when I moved from the Midwest (MichiganOhio) to Southern California is the I learned I dropped my what I call my "black and white blinders" and learned that people with purple hair and fishnet stocking, or in the movie industry or from a totally different culture can be so interesting and fun. I had been sure that all of CA was druggies and hot tubs. IMHO, mid-easterners and Midwesterners often wear those "i'm right and you're wrong blinders".

I grew up as you did, but my mind and my world expanded greatly as I moved as did my JOY. Like MarkS I sometimes wish I had been closer geographically to my kids and grandkids but my life is what it was and as LuckyMike says, don't make us come and get you! 😄

Sherry

jjm219 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks Sherry, we are getting the house fixed up and ready to sell. We also have a rental property to sell. The profit from both of those will allow us to buy the 5th wheel we want with no debt!!!! I love that idea. We are looking at a Solitude by Grand Design. We saw one at the rv show last year but weren't in the position to buy it just yet. I know once we get it all my worries will be gone. It's so exciting but also makes me nervous

bjoyce · RV-Dreams Family Member

I have to tell the story about a good friend's family. The friend's parents grew up in the South and no one in the family traveled more than 50 miles from home except under unusual circumstances. Then my friend's father was drafted and sent to Germany, with a pregnant bride. My friend was the baby that was born, the first grandchild for his paternal grandparents. The grandparents wanted to see the grandchild and decided to go to Germany. Since it was a long ways, they made it a 3 week trip. They saw their new grandchild, but they also got out and played tourist. They loved it. From then on they traveled the world, sending postcards from everywhere. My friend's uncle, who continued to live in the same town he was born in and hated driving an hour, blamed his brother for the parents "never being home". The uncle is not as happy with life as his brother.

DebbieM · RV-Dreams Family Member

Good to read all of this. We also have a year to go before we head out. But we'll need that time to sell ranch, etc. It also gives all of us (family) time to adjust to the idea. Both of our dad's are not in the best of health, so we may spend more time in the Western states so that if need be, we can drive back within a day. That's what I love about it all. We can do and make whatever plans we want! Looking forward to learning more from you all!

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

I stop by here every morning to get a "boost" for my day! Shot a video yesterday about my decision to quit my job, work from home, live and travel in our camper. All of you have been the "shot in the arm" to not let this dream die.

nessa9566 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Gonna chime in here. My father owned his own lawn business and worked his trade in the summer months. In the winter him and my stepmother would get in their fifth wheel and travel to Texas and stay there until April. This summer my dad was going to sell his business and go full time RVing and travel the country. His biggest dream was to spend a month in Alaska. He never got the chance. My dad had a stroke in November and passed away in December (6 days later my youngest daughter got married without her papa there). This is where my dream comes from. In four years (maybe sooner) we plan on selling our sticks and bricks, buy a fifth wheel and see the country. One place we are going is Alaska where I am going to scatter some of my precious fathers ashes. I'm going to live out my father's dreams and my own as well. Life is too short. We never know what can happen. Our children are very excited and very supportive and keep telling us to do it NOW! (maybe they just want to get rid of us lol) My daddy would be very happy about our decision also. He'd ask me "What the heck are you waiting for?"

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Vanessa,
Love your tender story, sad for your Dad but understanding g.

Sherry

Jo And Craig · RV-Dreams Family Member

Trisha, loved your video. I agree with you 100%! I couldn't have said it better myself! I wake up every morning imagining myself waking up in my home on wheels. Our day will come. (We are caretakers now.) And what is so awesome is that my DH and I both want this so very much! Finally, when my dear mother blessed our dream of RVing full time, that was all I needed. My family has been very supportive, so no worries there. We will only be an e-mail, phone call, or airplane ride away. God bless you all for helping us keep OUR dream alive!!

-- Edited by Mary Sunshine on Tuesday 4th of June 2013 06:15:44 AM

PIEERE · RV-Dreams Family Member

Nessa: I understand as I remember my Mom's dream was to see Arizona when I was around 10. She would read a lot of novels of Zane Grey; the colorful writer of the old West. Remember her hinting it to my dad; so they went out and purchased a new 1961 Chevy and made plans. In 1962 we came to Tennessee to visit my sister who had moved there in 1956. My mother started showing signs of forgetfulness. My dad was forced into early retirement in 1964 and by then my mom's health was worse, and wasn't able to drive. She died in 1967, just after my 16th Birthday. I vowed that one day I would go to AZ and it came to pass in 1980. Here is the amazing part; in 1981 my wife and I and the two children were out for a weekend drive when we happened upon Payson; AZ. Lo and behold; we seen Grizzly Adams wild animal farm and visited there. While there we asked what other things were there to do; Yep: we were given directions to go see Zane Grey's Cabin.
Things changed I ended up single again in 1989, the business I worked for in 2009 downsized and I had been living in an Older class C and made the decision to Work camp and follow a dream of seeing the U.S. Yes: Life is to short; so it is best to do what your heart is telling you.
If you have read some of my other posts; I have had some health setbacks; which i am finally getting care for. Praying the outcome looks good so i can get back to traveling and work camping..... and following my dream!

Hoping all comes together for you soon!!!