Torn between the present and the future - RV-Dreams Community Forum

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Torn between the present and the future

Waggin Tails · RV-Dreams Family Member

Pinon,
Large projects are a challenge to complete when looking at the whole project. Best suggestion I can offer is to break the large project into pieces, then complete the smaller pieces. I've been remodeling my kitchen for the past 5 years. By the time I get it done, the house will be sold.
While life happenings can certainly cause frustrations, and can interrupt plans, keep the focus on the larger goals. With perseverance, comes endurance.

injunear · RV-Dreams Family Member

Pinon
How well we understand what you are going through. We have several projects unfinished, also lost interest in getting things finished.
As Jerry has said I've made a prioritized to list get projects done one at a time.
You will be amaze how fast they go away.
Some projects require a professional, we don't always like to call in the pros, but after a three year bathroom job. I had to make that call or my DW would.

Wayne

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks guys for the support. A lot of my angst comes from my feeling helpless to get anything accomplished. My wife is the handywoman in the family, and she also is (for the most part) the one with the health issues. I am the helper, go-fer, cleaner, straightener, and designer. And when I suggest getting help she takes it as criticism, which leaves me feeling crazy. Or says we can't afford it, and comes up w/ these time expectations built on her own sense of guilt ("In 2011 I'll work an overtime shift every week, finish the house, pay off all of our debt, take you on 3 big vacations, be team mom for the soccer team, etc, etc.") It's not that she does too little, she actually does too much.
Hmm. It just occurred to me we should be getting a couple thousand for our tax return. I had already allocated it (in my head) but this would be a reasonable use for it...
Heidi

2fortheroad · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have our house on the market, and we know of some issues that could be addressed, but have elected to wait till we have a serious offer before putting more money into it.

I do agree with the others if you do have projects to complete, just focus on one at a time. Write them down on paper, starting with the easiest to the most difficult then give yourself a small reward each time you finish a project. The bigger the project the bigger the reward.

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Guys, thanks for listening to my little breakdown! E-filed our taxes last night and in a few weeks should have $4500 to hire a pro. Wife is completely on board with it. She developed arthritis after we bought this house and even though she knows how to do a lot of things, they have gotten physically painful to do. She also is completely ready to full-time, and keeps reminding me to ask off from work next month to go to an RV show. My friends are also encouraging me to have a "drywall mudding and painting party." (I have some good friends.) And I have decided I need to start figuring out what I can do by myself, and do it. I have been strongly encouraged to not start any projects, b/c I am not a perfectionist and my wife is. But I have decided there are some things I can do, and I am going to do them. (Building closet shelves, mudding, decluttering.)
I have also started listing some furniture on craigslist. An armoire, a roll-top desk, a Nordic track, some decorative things. Yay! I am having fun!
Heidi

faerie · RV-Dreams Family Member

i totally understand. our youngest is 12 and we are planning on fulltiming the second she hits the college dorm. we have a house we love and works great for our family but no emotional attachment to it except that i want to keep my kids in the same home till they graduate high school and we built a full hookup rv pad for our motorhome. but the guest bath needs some work, and the lawn needs some work, etc..basic homeownership stuff. and i find myself instead painting and curtaining the motorhome. i have to remind myself to enjoy today and not spend all my time looking forward.

Olywa · RV-Dreams Family Member

I have been wanting to hit the road for several years, about 4 years ago I thought we were going to do it. Had a huge sale and disposed of lots of stuff...then things changed we ended up staying put. We have a business to sell and no one was buying 4 years ago and today the out look is even worse for a buyer, the econmy is such here that we probally won't find a buyer and we will have to close down, there is so much cut throating going on out there to get work it is almost impossible to get enough work to stay open, so that is the present.

I just try to look to the future we won't have the full time life I dreamed of orginaly but we will have a future to look forward to. We are curently getting rid of stuff again and we are getting the house ready to go on the market, our agent has told us that we need to be ready by March 1st for the spring upswing in the area. We are lucky that we don't have much competion in our area right now so hopefully that will help and our agent has some good marketing ideas.

I hope I haven't hijacked this post but the frustration is really getting to me.

Hope you all have a wonderful day

Pam

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Everyone - I am enjoying spending time reading through posts on this forum as we sit in the aftermath of the blizzard here in Missouri. The 4 foot snow drifts are unbelievable - but the view on the riverbank is absolutely beautiful. Anyway, I read this quote earlier this morning and just had to share it along with all the great advice everyone else is posting:

"The reason you want every single thing that you want, is because you think you will feel really good when you get there. But, if you don't feel really good on your way to there, you can't get there. You have to be satisfied with what-is while you're reaching for more." --- Abraham

The thing is, we all tend to focus on the future more than living in the present. If our thoughts are all about "some day . . . " we will continually be living for some day. Being aware of this present moment is huge. With that said, I agree with taking things one step at a time, one project at a time. The important thing is to keep moving forward towards your dream - you don't stall out and give up. It's the forward progress that builds the momentum, even if you can't see it.

I share this because it happened to us. We had the dream of living full time in our rv, but no visible means of affording that lifestyle. We held the dream, and never gave up - started taking steps to downsize. The story is too long to share here, but last year our Big Foot Camper and pickup just dropped in our laps - and here we are, workamping at a private campground in mid-Missouri. It can happen to you!

Make it a glorious day!

Trisha

MKM · RV-Dreams Community Member

I had to throw in my 2 cents here -- altho I don't post often. In '08 -- when the market was rapidly heading into the gutter -- we sold our house in 3 days. It too needed work -- we had a great realtor who showed us how many homes were for sale in the area, comparing those to our home and what their asking prices were. He stated if we set the sell price somewhat lower than the other homes on the market, it would sell, that the only people purchasing homes at that time were those who qualified for the $8000 rebate being offered at the time. The sign went up on Thurs and the realtor returned on Mon with 5 offers -- we accepted the one that was $4000 more that the asking price. Sound too good to be true -- it is VERY true. We sold our home "as-is" & less than similar homes. We didn't try to make a ton of money on the sale -- we wanted out, so we could begin the rest of our lives as fulltimers. We didn't make a great deal of money, but we made enough to put in the bank for a rainy day, or a day when we come off the road. Anyway, I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents & say it is possible to sell your home in an as-is condition. It would have cost us to do the fix-ups that would have put our home on the same level as the other homes already for sale. There are people out there who want a fixer-upper. It all depends on how bad you want out. We have NEVER regretted our decision to follow our realtor's advice.

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Good points guys. I am enjoying my current daily life, and strive to do so more. My wife made a comment the other day about possibly going full-time in 2 years. 2 years? Crazy! All the sudden I started getting a little scared. I still need to work, and I still really like my job where I am. But I do have the option of keeping my job and going down to 2 days a month. So we could work 4 days in a row (last 2 of 1 month then 1st 2 of the next and then leave for 2 months. When the time comes that may be how we do it for a while. I've never liked a job this much so I hate to cut my ties too early.

And I appreciate the idea about selling the house as is. That may happen...
Heidi

Pat L · RV-Dreams Family Member

Heidi,
I am a licensed contractor and have been for over 47 years. Just because people watch 12 DIY shows does not make them an expert on construction. One of the worst things people can do, when trying to sell, is remodel to their own taste. Keep it simple and clean. Think about offering remodeling allowance to the buyer. This is something that is done a lot here in SW Fl. as my wife is a Realtor for over 37 years. The big box stores and TV shows give you just enough info to get people excited into buying materials but don't know how to explain the proper techniques to install materials. Sell as is and get the H*%# out of Dodge!

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Pat, good advice. With that in mind we are "toning down" our style now that we are planning our sale. I think we will start by not buying and installing the wall of cabinets I had planned for one of the walls in our living room. I wanted storage, but I don't think it will add any $ to the sale, so why put money and time into it.
Heidi

Pat L · RV-Dreams Family Member

Trisha,
Where are you in Missouri? We left St. Charles in 1993 and did not look back. We quit good business and moved to Port Charlotte, Fl. and started over. Glad we did, even though we have had 2 bad winters here, made the 20's a few nights, we shoveled no snow. I remember the winters up there. The NBC nightly News was just showing about the impending floods that Mo. will be getting when the big thaw comes. Good luck.

-- Edited by Pat L on Friday 18th of February 2011 06:17:57 PM

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Pat L - my sister lives in St. Charles! We are in Huntsdale which is about 10 miles southwest of Columbia. I've lived in Missouri all my life - used to think I would miss the seasons if we moved to Florida . . . but I've grown older and wiser. I wouldn't miss winter one bit!

We live on a the roller coaster of weather here. Last week it was -10. One week later it's 75. We dealt with the blizzard of 2011 . . . now we are checking flood stages every day. The campground flooded last spring - 3 times! It was quite the adventure - our camper sits close to the levee, but the waters never crested the levee . . . got within a few inches, but then receded. We don't have to worry about the kind of flash flooding that sweeps through instantly - like at that campground last year. We have the watchful eye and lifetimes of knowledge from all the locals around here who know this river and its ways.

What's the saying . . . out of the frying pan, into the skillet? Done with blizzards - hopped over to flood watches. But, hey, wouldn't trade this lifestyle for anything. And, we know . . . come November, we are headed to where it's warm!

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

How wild - I didn't even think about impending floods. In my defense, I live at 7300' in the mountains in New Mexico. Although I was in a flash flood once w/ my family - terrifying. In NM we tell kids to beware of the arroyo bruja (sp?) - the ditch witch.
Took another couple of bags to the thriftstore yesterday. Decided to give away somethings I didn't sell on craigslist, but that I thought were too nice to just give away. Oh well. Our thrift store pays for an animal charity, so I have to focus on the fact I am donating to them.
This focus on the RV helps - I am buying less!
Heidi

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Heidi,

You have hit upon two of the necessities of even thinking of going full time; donating and buying less.

In our case, it was I that was the holdout. When we sold a 5 acre place and moved to where we are now, Jo suggested we sell off everything and just start over. In my defense, I argued that I couldn't see any value at all of selling something used and then turning around later and buying a replacement at new prices.

That was in late 2006 and unbeknownst to me, we were less than two years away from starting the process of downsizing to full time RV. Had we known then what we know now, we wouldn't have even bought the house we currently have.

I have found now (packrat speaking) that it is actually liberating to be rid of a lot of "stuff". In our process, it was a few things sold to family, a neighborhood wide garage sale, selling on Craigslist, and lots of donations. In the past, if we had a garage sale, whatever was not sold during the sale went to the local Goodwill or Salvation Army thrift centers. We figured that if we were willing to sell this stuff at next to nothing, then we could just as easily give it away. After all, why mess with "stuff" (note I'm avoiding the word "junk") that would maybe sell for pennies on the dollar to its original value?

Weather looks good here for this weekend, so it looks like we will be working some in the garage again. For one thing, I still need to clarify what tools I will "want" to take. The packrat in me just thinks that SOMEDAY I might need that thing.

Good luck with it all.

Terry

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Absolutely liberating to get rid of all that "stuff!" It starts to possess you rather than you possessing it. You have to clean it, maintain it, store it . . . you become a slave to the stuff you own.

I doubt that anyone who has gone through the process of downsizing to a simpler life in their RV would go back to that house full of furniture, dishes, collections - that garage full of junk - that basement full of decorations and mementos. Agree?

We have downsized MAJORLY - but there's still stuff we need to clear out. You learn to not live by the words "I may need this someday" to "this is all I need."

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Another trip to the thrift store - 3 bags and a roll-top desk gone. And I have a friend starting a new business I am going to give an armoire to. I have also been asked to buy some new dishes. My son still breaks a lot when he is washing them, so I have my nice set (that can't be microwaved), but the everyday set is dwindling. I am thinking about just buying a couple plates at the thrift store. This sounds like no big decision, but I am a little OCD about my plates - I have always only had full sets, antique table linens, etc. I can't find any more of my current set, so my normal thing would to give away all my old dishes and buy a full new set of 8 or 10. Yeah, I know. Ridiculous. So I will be buying mismatched plates, I think.
We love antiques. It's going to be so odd not antique hunting once we are in the RV.
Heidi

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Heidi - I was just like you - antique lover! Had a house full of antiques, knick knacks, collectibles - you name it - I collected it! But, I am loving this simple life . . . having only what we need to live in our RV. Kind of like a second birth or something - I used to do this . . . now I do this. I used to live in a huge house, now I live in a Big Foot Camper! Goodness! Love it love it love it!

Dreamers · RV-Dreams Family Member

Isn't it liberating? Our house is now empty except for a few things still in the garage. The tenent is moving in on March 1st so my DH is going to have to finally make some decisions. He's kind of like Terry in that he might need that - don't want to have to buy it again. And, he's got the RV basement full so it will be interesting this weekend to see what he does.

Like Terry and Jo, we sized down in 2007 to a smaller retirement house but kept way to much "stuff". If only we had known then what we know now, we would have hit the road then. Wouldn't have a house we can't sale. Oh well, it has worked out as the lease is guaranteed by Mercedes for 3 years. Make decisions again then but we're getting on the road now. But, we'll have to clean the RV basement out first. More trips to the thrift store will follow.

Good luck to all who are in the processing of getting rid of stuff - I don't miss anything. Our second vehicle left yesterday. Did have a little problem with that as we had had it for 8 1/2 years. But oh well we don't need it now.

Judy

Pat L · RV-Dreams Family Member

Trisha, I know where you are. My wife grew up at Booneville and is a two time graduate from Mizzou. We are big UM Football fans as our #1 son played for Mizzou. Her dad was a dirt contractor and spent many a day & night pushing dirt up on the levee. They do break. Sandy was still living in St. Charles in '93 when the Big 500yr Flood hit while was down here in Fl. building our house. Stay safe and be careful. You can e-mail me [plaurendine@yahoo.com]. Later!!!!!!!!!

-- Edited by Pat L on Wednesday 23rd of February 2011 02:53:14 PM

Waggin Tails · RV-Dreams Family Member

Stuff has intrinsic value as long as there is space to store it.

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Waggin Tails wrote:

Stuff has intrinsic value as long as there is space to store it.

Good deep thought! I am not a packrat or a hoarder, but it is hard to get rid of things we have space for! I do love my antiques though, so I am glad to hear it is possible to reform! One good thing for me, is I try to look at a lot of things for sale as if they were art in a museum. I get huge enjoyment from looking at them, but I don't take them home.
I am interviewing for a promotion tomorrow. It would be around a 25% pay raise, which we would use to finish paying off our debt faster, and max out the retirement accounts. I'm really relaxed about it - my "competition" is a friend and we are pretty darn equally matched, so if I don't get it I won't be angry or feel slighted or anything. So send lucky vibes my way!
Heidi

janni · RV-Dreams Family Member

Heidi,
Good Luck at your interview!

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

Go get 'em Heidi! Sending those luck vibes to you!

Pinon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks guys. The interview went great. I feel like I did a very clear job of expressing who I am, my skills, and my vision. Which I think is as much as I can ask for. It really muddies the emotional waters that the other person applying for the job is also really good. We are similar in age, experience, attitude, sense of humor, we even look similar! So whatever happens, happens.

Thanks for wishing me luck. So many of my friends are work friends or mutual friends w/ this woman, so I can't really talk about this w/ them.

Heidi