Wife - RV-Dreams Community Forum

bubbadan · RV-Dreams Family Member

Wife

GENECOP · RV-Dreams Family Member

Sounds like you might have to go without her, good luck. G

Luvglass · RV-Dreams Family Member

You're in a tough situation, but nothing really works in a lifestyle change of this magnitude, unless both partners want it.

What you see sometimes though is that one dominant partner has their way and the other partner suffers silently. The only way to work out a compromise is to have some serious, honest discussions, but they are often very difficult in these types of relationships.

Good luck,

two travelers · RV-Dreams Family Member

It took me 10 years to get my husband to go...He would not tent camp.. it reminded him of the Army which he hated...So I went out and bought our first camper..
Maybe you need to take her to an RV show and let her see what kind of campers she can choose from...Does she say what she dislikes about camping...who is doing the cooking and cleaning when you camp ? Maybe she feels like she has to do more work camping than staying at home...
My daughter would never camp until she got a camper with a full bath,, she will not do public bathhouses.. Us girls can be funny about the simplest things...Talk to her and listen to what she has to say...patti

phyllen · RV-Dreams Family Member

I tent camped as a child. Did not particually like it.

A few years back DH talked about RVing. I told him my idea of roughing it was stratchy towels at the Holiday Inn.But then I got to thinking about it. If he really wanted to RV, I was willing to give it a try.

About 6 years ago we bought a 1988 Class A. I LOVED IT!. We camped for a week in VA. Met a couple who fullitmes. I was HORRIFIED. I could not imagine not having a HOME. Well within 6 months we decided we wanted to fulltime too. We bought a 2002 Cedar Creek in 2007. Then this March we upgraded to a 2009 Montana.

Now we are counting the days to take off (41).

So, talk it over and give her a little time. She just might come around.

Good luck.

Phyllis

bubbadan · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks to everyone for you suggestions and commits. Luvglass (Fred); I have tried to talk to her and ask questions she just will not open any kind of discussion on this subject. Don't get me wrong she is a wonderful person, very kind and sweet. We have been married for 42 years and I could not even think of how my life would be with her.
Patti; When we Had the TT she would help but I did all the cleaning and most of the cooking unless she wanted to help. I planed all the trips and bought the food stock the trailer trying to make the trip as easy and fun as I could. She has gone with me only one time to a RV show and I have invited her to go each year.
I am not talking about full timing now I am just a week end wont-a-be.

thebearII · RV-Dreams Family Member

Bubbadan,

I have two relatives and a friend with same situation you have. None of the 3 husbands have been able to convince their wives to RV. All three wives grew up camping, two using RVs and just didn't like it.

These husbands want desparately to RV. No solution to the situation.

All three of them travel a lot with their wives using cruises or car trips & staying in hotels. Occasionally they will go off on their own or camp with a buddy, usually to fish or attend an event like Nascar, offroad races or something with a grandkid. Their wives refuse to camp out.

I don't think you will change her mind.

You'll need to find some sort of balance.... drop her off at a nearby hotel or Bed & Breakfast while you go camping for the weekend. If she sees you're serious about RV'ing maybe she'll come around eventually. If you do get an RV (rent or buy) make sure you get a big one with all the bells and whistles (washer/dryer, sat TV, good A/C..etc) so it's as comfortable as home.

bubbadan · RV-Dreams Family Member

The Bear II

Thanks for the reply. I bought a 28 foot TT very nice she tried it a few times even with friends and every chance she got she gave me some kind of remark about it. It did not seem she did not have a good time it was I feel she did not want me have one.

Footsiebear · RV-Dreams Family Member

bubbadan wrote:

I bought a 28 foot TT very nice she tried it a few times even with friends and every chance she got she gave me some kind of remark about it. It did not seem she did not have a good time it was I feel she did not want me have one.

Maybe I'm out of line here, but it sounds like you've got more serious problems than her not wanting to go RVing.

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

I do think some wives want the comforts of a home when Rving. What you didnt say is what is your rv dream.....is it just for wkends and vacations and that it would not be full-time? Many need a nest to come home to. If she completely hates it than you have to work out another alternative. Perhaps a trade off would be within reason.
southwestjudy

TXRVr · RV-Dreams Family Member

My wife doesn't golf. I go by myself or with buddies. My wife doesn't fish. I go by myself or with buddies. I don't shop. She goes by herself or with girl friends. The grandkids love to RV. Their parents don't. I'd go on the space shuttle for a week in a heart beat. My wife would ask me if I could make it two weeks. After a quarter century, we've learned to live with each other's preferences..which means not giving up our indivdual pleasures.

purplepisces0316 · RV-Dreams Community Member

Hi I'm new to this forum .Just found it recently . I to am having a problem with my DH to even talk about even part time till we could later fulltime. iI know he like to camp cause did tell me that one time when i ask him ;but thats as far as i could get him to talk.So I to am in the same boat but other end and no paddle. Also I did camp growing up and in my 20's and loved it. Oh well I just keep trying hopefully I'll get to do it before i die . thanks all for hearing me rant .

2fortheroad · RV-Dreams Family Member

Just to lighten things up a little, no disrespect intended. Maybe there could be an organized spouse swap in the works. confuse confuse

rockyroad · RV-Dreams Community Member

I tried to get mine interested in RVing also.......all I got back was "I'm not living with you in a cracker box".
I got my problem solved tho....its call a Divorce and I wouldn't reccomend that for everyone, but its going to work for me.
Actually the problems probably started a while back when she bought a Jeep and joined the Jeep club and I started hearing about how much fun other copules were having.........I'm thinking...... "hell I like to have fun too".
That was the shot across the bow.

I supect its is rather common when the kid goes off to college and the two of you look at each other and see its only us now. Then you begin to wonder what do we really have in common especially if there is a big age difference. Anyway my answer was served by the sheriff.

I cant tell you how excited I am to now be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it and not have to answer to anyone.........I will be buying my RV next year, I doing my research now.

Hopefully I will meet an Rving Gal along the way that has some of the same interest as me. "Yeah I like to have fun too"

VanMar · RV-Dreams Family Member

Rockyroad,

Been there, done that. It was not fun! Current wife (20th anniversary in January) has some Gypsy in her and can't wait to fulltime. We read with great envy Howard and Linda's journal entry about the fire on the beach at sunset. Yeah, no spousal problems here. aww

V

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

HHHHHHhmmmmmmmm............I knew I forgot something when I left the fuel stop that day!!!!

She is gonna kill me................(Dog is laughing @ me again!!)

Technomadia · RV-Dreams Family Member

We've talked with several couples where one wanted to travel or RV, and the other didn't. Some of them were able to quite successfully work out compromises - such as the traveler going out solo for a few weeks or months a year.

If RVing is your dream and you feel trapped not doing it - then some tough conversations and decisions ahead for you.

Best wishes,
- Cherie

blijil · RV-Dreams Family Member

After several years of observing all kinds of RVing we have learned that everyone that makes it work has had to work it out just for the two of them. I would suggest talking about travel in general first to figure out if you agree on destinations or activities. Then figure out exactly what your wife doesn't like about RVing and work out some compromises including destination and activities. Some want Resort living only near great destinations, others love the trip, some don't like to move, some don't want to leave the grandchildren or friends at home. You can't solve the provlem without knowing what they are.

We have friends who prefer to cruise, or go overseas, rent a place for the summer, etc. Many wives want a vacation. Rving is a lot of things but it is not a vacation if you still wash, cook, and clean.

So maybe there is a solution and maybe not but from our personal experience what works for you is most likely different than any of us and visa versa.

Larry and JB

cejones4210 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Dave says, ask her since she doesn't want to camp/RV would she mind if you took your girlfriend and went. He's bad!

Mark Serley · RV-Dreams Family Member

i just got done putting up the christmas lights, trimmed the bushes, cleaned the yard, cleaned the pool,(we live in pensacola,fla), pulled weeds, took out the garbage and the recyclables, and picked-up my gr'daughter's chalk! ask your wife if she'd like to change places for a while! she might get the idea an RV might not be so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mark

PIEERE · RV-Dreams Family Member

Wife called me from the rest stop and asked me if I forgot something!!! I said; not that I can recollect!! And it's all Dave's fault, for I found a new girlfriend. And you thought you were BAAAAd!!! LOL! Pieere

soos · RV-Dreams Family Member

My two cents- I used to boat with my first husband and didn't have much fun. If he had suggested RVing I would have run the other way. Fast forward to my current husband. We used to boat and I loved it. We have been fulltimers for 3 years and are having a blast. The difference? With my first husband, I had to do all the cooking, cleaning, packing the kids up, unpacking the kids, only to do it again the next weekend, all by myself. My current husband and I share chores and work as a team, which makes our time boating or RVing much more fun for everyone.

Sue

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Sue,

I'm with you and totally relate. It's not fun if you do all the work. Sounds like you made some good changes! Life is just too short to not share the smiles, fun & chores.

Sherry

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Back in the day when we would go to Colorado and camp in a small camper, I got to live the high life. I did all the driving and the setting up of the camper, followed by setting out the lawn chairs.

When my mother was alive and camped with us, she hated to cook but didn't mind cleaning up. Jo hated cleaning but didn't mind the cooking. So, I got to "test out" the lawn chairs and take pictures with the occasional need to go find firewood and haul water.

Ahhh......those were good days. Yet someday, more good days will come.

Terry

janni · RV-Dreams Family Member

I can relate to Sue's story. That is how it was for me way back when. I don't EVEN call this camping. You may have to find something that appeals to your better half. Maybe some side trips, hiking, photography, museums, campfires...the list is endless. Hold on to your dream.

PIEERE · RV-Dreams Family Member

C'mon now! No comments! I was only kidding!

RVPAINTER · RV-Dreams Family Member

Terry - when you start full-timing you'll have to bring along a Rent A Maid - :>)

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

RVPAINTER wrote:
Terry - when you start full-timing you'll have to bring along a Rent A Maid - :>)

Heh, Richard.

I'm not sure Jo will go along with that. After all, where would the maid sleep and how much does it cost to "keep" them.

Oh, incidentally, "keep" means paying the salary for their labor and feeding the maid.

Terry

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

My wife always wanted a small house with a white picket fence. I asked her if the fence was negotiable. Her response as she was packing the RV... what fence?