The end of my dreams - RV-Dreams Community Forum

phyllen · RV-Dreams Family Member

The end of my dreams

Guiler85 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Oh, Phyllis!! I am so very sorry to hear of your sorrow. I pray that you will find the strength in God and yourself to push past this very unforeseen happening and be able to smile once again very soon.

Roz · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,

There is nothing anyone can say that will make this hurt go away. Only time, Faith and rising above this turn in life's path will begin your next life adventure, and there is one awaiting you.

Along with everyone in this family, I deeply care and am sorry this has occurred. Take care of yourself. Strengthen your Faith. Reach out to friends. Believe. And know that this, too, in time shall pass. You shall be happy once again.

Please know you have friends!

Charles

Jim01 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,

Even though we have not met, let me assure you that you do have many friends on this forum. We all feel your pain, and our prayers and thoughts will be with you.

Like others have said, This will pass. The pain will ease, and the sun will shine again.

Hang in there,

Your friends,

Jim and Linda

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

So sorry Phyllis, but I am thinking things sometimes happen for the best, please keep the faith and in time things will get better. You must think positive!! Your RV Dreams are STILL there.
southwestjudy

Speedhitch · RV-Dreams Family Member

I think your going to find out that in the end you will be the winner. You have us for friends and we are in your corner. Stay in touch with us...just because your plans are on hold doesn't mean you have to stop being a Dreamer.

Joe and Sherri

Froggi · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis, don't give up on the dream...not completely. There are MANY women out there RVing alone. Once things are finalized, you may find you aren't in the financial straits you're thinking about now. Get a good attorney and be realistic. Yes it hurts....but try to think down the road. Your life hasn't ended even though a part of it has. My RVing life started after my husband's death. I tried the working and found I wanted the travel more. I downsized everything to the point that I could RV (carefully) with my used rig, even if the house hadn't sold. Feel free to email me anytime!!!!

Sending huge Froggi hugs your way....

retiredsailor · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,

Life will go on maybe not what you dreamed of or envisioned but each one of us are blessed. There will always be others that have it better than us but then there will also be those that have it worse than us. I have learned to take what comes my way as a blessing good or bad there is always something there to be thankful for. But that is not what I wanted to say I wanted to tell you about this other female solo on here besides Froggi Donna (Donna you have Stu now but you were inspiring too) I admire all those solo's for whatever reason that are out here living and chasing their dreams. This one specific solo is Martha and she has a blog located at www.gypsy97.blogspot.com. I highly recommend reading her blog and what she accomplished in a short period of time from dreaming of fulltiming to going fulltime. She is another person that I consider a real inspiration in that if you can dream it then there will be a way to accomplish it.

Cindy T · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,
You're going thru a really tough time right now and have every reason to be hurt, angry, devastated, confused, scared etc.
AND, if you really want to be a full time RVer, your dream isn't over, it's just changed.
As others have said, there are many single ladies (and single men) who full time.
Check out http://www.womenrv.com and http://www.womensrvforum.com and http://www.rvingwomen.org and http://www.lonersonwheels.com/ and http://www.rvsingles.org/

Finally, here are some thought-provoking questions that might be helpful to you:

Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself during a Challenging Transition

What is this experience trying to teach me? What are the golden nuggets I am taking away? What part did I play in the outcome? How can I use this situation to make me a better person? What am I tolerating? What do I need to feel powerful? Am I being nice or am I being real? How can I be the solution?How have I withheld myself from life? Is what I am doing right now life affirming or life numbing? Where am I selling out on myself? What have I learned about myself? Am I honoring my values?
Take Action: What do I need to start doing?What do I need to stop doing? What actions will I shift? Do I need to stop procrastinating? What action can I take to respect myself more? Do I need to admit when I don’t know something? Do I need to start asking directly for what I want or need? What acknowledgement would I like to give myself?

gypsy97 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis, I am deeply sorry that you are going through this setback and the pain of a break-up. As everyone else has said, the worst will pass and then you will look forward to doing your own thing. If you want to be a full time RVer, or even part time, you CAN do it on your own and the benefits you can derive are astounding.

When I read the posts and blogs of happily married folks I sometimes want to cry with envy (not the bad, jealous kind, but the "I'm so happy for you and wish it could happen to me kind") and with longing for someone to share this life. But I know it is unlikely to happen at this stage of my life. What I have found is pure joy every time I try to do something new and it actually works! When I've been able to travel all across the country pulling my very own house on wheels, and be able to drive around Dallas or Los Angeles, I know I'm special, as we all are special. Someone or something above us all is alowing me to experience life in a way I never imagined and to perk up my confidence and self esteem at the same time.

And to those couples, I would say to really appreciate and value your partner and his/her contribution. Wow, would I ever like to borrow a husband with tool box, electrical and plumbing stuff, and most of all the knowledge and willingness to try anything, just for a day! smile

Phyllis, you are welcome to email me at any time (as is anyone else on this forum), at gypsy97@gmail.com. Everyone on this forum is in your corner!
gypsy

pierreandcolleen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,

I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time. There are no words that can possibly ease the pain. Only time will do that.

We only have one life to live out our dreams. Don't let one person ruin that for you. Keep dreaming!

As Henry David Thoreau said, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."

my thoughts are with you.
Colleen

Serengeti2001 · RV-Dreams Family Member

We feel sorry that this has happened to you but, better now than later.
In my case I waited way to long to get my divorce.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Remember the "Goods"
Good by
Good lawyer
Good settlement
Good life ahead
And last of all Good to see you out here

mailman01 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis, we have never met, but I feel as though I know you and your situation. You must feel devastated, betrayed and a lot of other adjectives that might come to mind. I can only imagine your pain after all those years of devotion, planning, anticipation....to have it boil down to the events of the past few weeks.

Some that experience similar events are not as "fortunate" as you to be surrounded by such warm and caring friends that are there any time, day or night, to listen and offer support through this ordeal. You are a young woman with dreams, surrounded by DREAMERS. This event will change your life, no doubt, but like the Phoenix, you will rise and stand tall as a result, and be a stronger, independent woman.

You are probably saying "big talk for someone that has never experienced this," and you would be correct. But just know, you have friends.....Allow them to be there for you.

SEE YOU ONE THE ROAD....You have the 5er, Truck and 50% of everything else...LAWYER....

Regards, Marty

ahoweth · RV-Dreams Family Member

God works in strange ways his wonders to perform. I know it is hard now but he has a plan for you and a better life ahead. All you have to do is let him lead you to it. Have faith and rely on your friends to help you. No one walks this walk alone. We all need help from time to time and this is your time to let your friends help.

2 4 d hwy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis, I don't think any of us can really know what you are feeling but most agree that God has a purpose for all of us and a path he has given us. It isn't always easy but there is always something good to take away from our trials. Take things one day at a time. Try to keep positive. Getting a good attorney is uppermost, remember you are probably entitled to a share of his retirement. There is workkamping and our solo rvers know it can be done. You have done the research and know what you need and where to start. Take that knowledge and use it for your benefit. We start our full time journey late this year and we hope to meet you on the road somewhere. Please don't stop dreaming.

netters · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis we are so sorry to hear that you are going through this really rough time. It may not seem like it now, but things will get better. Please...get a good attorney! You are entitled to maybe half of everything that you guys have and possibly half of his retirement fund. Have your attorney tell you what your state laws are. You have a house and a 5er and by the time this is over hopefully you can use a little of the settlement and get you a nice Class C Motorhome and come and join all of us on the road. Remember, all our thoughts and prayers are with you through this time and if you need emotional support, just ask and we will help. Mac & Netters

TheBobGuy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Phyllis and please don't think of this as the end of your dreams, even though it may feel that way now...it is NOT the end of your dreams....it will be the beginning....and you can call the shots.
Please follow the good advice you've already been given here, then make your plan and get out here! There are many singles on the road and they have much comraderie and friendship...you will see!

So whatever you do, don't ever give up on what YOU want!
We're all here for you so please feel the hugs coming your way!

Big hugs!
Molly & Bob

SoonToTravel · RV-Dreams Family Member

Dear Phyllis, I am so sorry to hear this, it is not the end of your dreams. My sister went through some of the same problems. She got a good lawyer & is getting her share of everthing they had together. She is even going to get her part of his retirement, it was in the divorce agreement. He is the one who left you, so you are due half of everything. If he is living in the camper, tell your lawyer you want him to sell it & fork over your half. This is NOT YOUR FAULT. Our prayers are with you.

Lois

-- Edited by SoonToTravel at 23:48, 2009-01-08

phyllen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Dear Friends. I am not worried about getting a lawyer at this time. I am not worried about the financial aspect to our situation. We are both hurting. I started counseling yesterday, he starts tomorrow.

The attachment he has with this woman is an emotional one, not physical at this time. He does not understand when in a marriage and there is a problem you look toward each other. It does not help to bring a young, single woman into it as his confidant.

I firmly believe we still love and care for each other. But I am concerned too much has been said and done and the healing will be difficult. He is not yet ready to give up his friendship with her and concentrate solely on healing us.

I am hurting, confused and sadden on what could and should have been.

Phyllis

2stepr · RV-Dreams Community Member

I was saddened to read your posting. No one I feel, gets through life without challenges, at least I don't think so. We all have different burdens on our shoulders at any given time. Some hurt way more than others. But, our inner strength is what gets us through. When i was carrying a burden, I was told, "This too shall pass". That wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear! But, lo and behold, they were right. Now, it is just a memory. I like the road that I am on now. I am a solo, and I am spending my winter in the Rio Grande Area. I may not have the biggest or nicest rig, but it is mine. I was very pleased to find out that what people say about RVers is true. They don'e care what you drive or pull, they just care about you. They also come out of the "woodwork" to help you!!! I am lovin my new life. I hope eventually you will be able to say the same. Time is a great healer. My thoughts and prayers will be with you on your new journey. Cindy/2stepr

petitetot · RV-Dreams Family Member

I will keep you both in my prayers. Big hugs Phyllis.

phyllen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Once more I thank my RV friends. AFter his first counseling Len has cut off all contact with this young woman. He needed to realize that she was not the person to talk to.

Bottom line - he was scared to death to retire at 60, pre social security benefits. He will work for two more years. (Once they found out he was not leaving, he even got a promotion). To please me he was going to go ahead and retire but as time got closer he really panicked doing stupid things. I tend to take blame, but this time he is entirely at fault and he realizes it.

So - I am in the house. He is living in the fiver at a campground. One day at a time.

Again, thanks and happy RVing. One of these days we just might join you all.

Phyllis

Jim01 · RV-Dreams Family Member

We'll be waiting for you.

Jim

leno · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thinking and praying for you. Just remember, dreams never end....

Froggi · RV-Dreams Family Member

Nice to hear an update and know that things might turn around...still keeping you in my thoughts!

Loralie · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hang in there...I'm still planning on us meeting over dinner some day!
Loralie

gypsymaus · RV-Dreams Family Member

It is wonderful to see all the support and encouraging words for our dear friend Phyllis. She and I are friends from another forum so we have gotten to know each other a bit. It is so good to see her coming here and sharing her story so we can support her. Phyllis please keep us all updated when you feel like posting. smile

I am also glad to see all the support and encouragement for women that fulltime on their own. I know if something ever happened to DH I would want to continue on my own.

Travelin Duo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis, All the family members here are with you in thoughts and prayers.
What a greast group of folks.
Sending you hugs, and will certainly keep you in our prayers.
Hold onto your dreams......
Arlene & Larry

Spearjack · RV-Dreams Community Member

Oh Phyllis...I'm certian that even though you might not see it now..God has bigger plans for you.
I'm contemplating at age 50, going and getting myself an RV and heading to the Great Crater lake and reciding there for ?? as my husband after only 6 years started emailing a "mailorder bride" is what I call her, in Russia. So I do feel your pain. furious

So, if you want to join me instead of going beck to work, I could use your knowledge that you spent researching.
I'm turning 50 in Feb, and would like to try to do this by say June. If all goes right.
Thanks, and keep you head up! smile

Shirley

2 4 d hwy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,

It is good the two of you are in counseling. You're right, continue to take things one day at a time and as Jim01 says; we'll be waiting for you.

Olywa · RV-Dreams Family Member

Phyllis,

I'm so sorry that your dream has hit a road block. I have lurked on this form for a while and it appears that my dream of full time rving is coming to an end as well. Not because my husband doesn't want to go but because we are unable to sell our business or home in this econemy. We have had to put most of our savings in to our business over the last year to keep things going trying to wait things out. And of course like so many others our stock investments may never recover.

I do hope that with time you and your husband get the chance follow your dreams, and I hope and pray that it will happen for us as well, but I am not holding my breath, looks like we will be working way into our 70's just to be able to live a somewhat normal life...what ever normal is.

Best wishes to you in the future

Oly wa