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RV-Dreams.com Home -> RV-Dreams Community Forum -> Money Stuff -> Stock Market Terminology
Post Info TOPIC: Stock Market Terminology
Richard Mondavi


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Stock Market Terminology
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NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO
--Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO
-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET
-- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET
-- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING
-- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO
-- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER
-- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR
-- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST
-- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT
-- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER
-- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION
-- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW
-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO
-- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS
-- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR
-- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT
-- An archaic word no longer in use.

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RVDude


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That's the most accurate reporting I have seen yet! Thanks....

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macattack


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Hit the nail right on the head.

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  Mac 


Gregg and Lynette
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thebearII


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I saw a financial planner on a talk show and he said that he and his wife have over $60,000 in credit card debt. His business is to tell people how to spend their money and can't even handle his own.

This new terminology helped brighten my morning....

-- Edited by thebearII at 10:00, 2008-10-10

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phyllen


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My financial planner just called. I guess he wanted to see if I jumped out of any skyscrapers, etc. Even though I retire in 4 months, I am still hanging tight. But you bet when the market rebounds, I will move a higher percentage into more secure investments.

And it will rebound - it always does. I just hope I live long enough to see it.

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No longer own an RV.   No need.  No longer RV.

 

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retiredsailor


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I needed that tonight. Hope you don't mind but I sent these definitions out to a lot of my friends. But more importantly as hard as it is don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff. We all need a good laugh during these trying times. There is more truth to some of those definitions than I care to think about.




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