Emotional Transition - RV-Dreams Community Forum

Linda · Hostess

Emotional Transition

Tom N Gina · RV-Dreams Family Member

Linda,

Wow amazing couldn't have said it better Gina and I are going through this right now two weeks and we are out of the nest and flying on our own. Just hope to beat the birds South and I see they are flocking up as we speak. Seriously those same emotions you bring up have hit me hard. After all I am a guy right.......... supposed to be the strong one right........some days just get to me and it all seems overwhelming at times. Wrote Howard an e-mail about this last week and thank him for some reassurance. Now back to packing and cleaning for the new owners enough said.................... oh except one thing.

THANK YOU

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Oh Linda you sure did hit the nail on the head!!! This is JUST how I feel right now as 2 wks here and we shall be on our own. Matter-of-fact tonite is the last nite I get to sleep in my bed here at the house I KNOW I will feel much better when it is over with and we are pulling away and I am letting go which seems to be very slow for me. Then I think of times when we can visit family back East (after winter of course) and just park in theyre driveway and pull away when we want.

Yes right now I NEED a shoulder to cry on...thank you I am overwhelmed.

Southwest Judy & Bob & 2blackdogs

Don and Lois · RV-Dreams Community Member

IT WILL BE AWHILE BEFORE WE START TRAVELING, BUT I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT LEAVING MY ELDERLY MOM FOR MONTHS AT A TIME. AT PRESENT SHE IS IN FAIRLY GOOD HEALTH AND I HAVE 2 OTHER SISTERS CLOSE BY TO CHECK IN ON HER. I'M THE OLDEST AND I FEEL LIKE THAT SHE DEPENDS MORE ON ME. I HAVE A FEELING THAT WHEN THE TIME COMES FOR US TO TRAVEL, THAT SHE WILL TRY TO PUT ME ON A " GUILT TRIP ". HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANY OF YOU WITH YOUR FAMILIES?

AS YOU CAN SEE, I COULD'T SLEEP SO I DECIDED TO READ THE JOURNAL.

THANKS, LOIS

Happytrails · RV-Dreams Family Member

Lois

Hi Lois, I sure can identify with your situation. My husband and I will be fulltiming in about 2 years. Until then we plan to put our house on the market early 2007, purchase our RV and when the house sells we will live in the RV at a campground about 17 miles from where we both work and currently live. My dad is 93 and is in good condition for 93, if you know what I mean. The kick is he is 93. We have assured him that we aren't going to be traveling across country at this time. We plan to stay in the area and travel only in in the states around Georgia. I would always be within several hours from him at any given time. I am not an only child, I am the youngest. I have an older brother who is very rich, independent and has stayed his distance for many years. When he heard our plans for fulltiming we have received many negative comments from him. It is strange, my dad thinks our fulltiming is a great idea but my brother has been the one to heap the guilt trip on me. I am the kind of person that wants to please everyone and have everyone give me their stamp of approval. I have really worried and suffered with this, even to the point of thinking of making different plans for our retirement. I finally realized that I deserve to be happy and live the life that makes me happy. I will never get the approval of everyone. Those that have already started this lifestyle probably have had family members think they have totally lost their minds. It sorta goes with the territory.

You deserve to live your life in the way that makes you happy. You are not hurting anyone. You are so lucky to have siblings to help you and that should be reassuring for you as well as your mom. Talk to her about how you feel - both about fulltiming and your love for her. Tell her you can be there within hours if she should need you in an emergency. The more our loved ones understand this lifestyle the better they adjust. You are not going to sail off into the sunset to never return. I think in my case, the guilt was my own. I want to please everyone but the first person I must please is myself.

Hang in there!! You will find so many good friends in this lifestyle to embrace you and welcome you and help you adjust through any guilt that you may feel.

Feel free to keep in touch!

Take care and happy traveling! Gerri Jones

wmalefyt · RV-Dreams Family Member

My in-laws, in their mid-80's, live 3 miles from us now so we are able to see them often and be there if there is a problem. My mother-in-law had a sroke 2 years ago so my father-in-law is the primary caregiver. There is no other family here and most of their friends have moved or passed away.

We are both concerned about leaving them for months at a time as we would like to travel out of Florida for the long hot and humid summer. In addition, we're not getting any younger so want to do this soon while we still have our health. While they are very independent, my father-in-law plays tennis twice a week at age 86, we know the future will bring changes that will lessen their independence.

At this point, we haven't spoken to them about our plans although they have told us to live our own lives and not worry about them. It's still difficult to leave them for an extended period.

Don and Lois · RV-Dreams Community Member

GERRI, THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDS WORDS AND ENCOURAGEMENT. I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED.

KEEP SAFE AND GOD BLESS YOUR TRAVELS,

LOIS

blijil · RV-Dreams Family Member

After almost 30 years in the same house I find myself in a love-hate relationship with the property. Of course I love memories of family and friends shared over the years at this place and I even sort of love some of the stuff most of it useless that I have kept over those years, but I also hate to water, weed, prune, mow, level, maintain, repair, the very same property after so many years. Some things have been easier to part with and we are in the process of moving to a posture where we can go full time when the last of 7 children moves on to university. When she is ready we will sell the house and be rid of it but until then we are deciding how to get rid of piece by piece with a fair amount of input from the children. Why do we put ourselves through all of this? Because we have found that we love to travel, camp, see new places and meet new people. Also we have figured out that we are going to have to change our lifestyle if we want to spend more time with our children who are spread all over the country. Strange as it seems we could be prevented from completing these changes if we are slaves to our stuff.

Emotional but looking forward to full timing.

Larry and Jacki-belle

Joan On The Road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Although we dreamt for years about RVing fulltime our decision was made very quickly and I had so much to do that I hardly had time to be sad or emotional...but I sure can identify with all the feelings and situations you all have mentioned.

We made our decision in April 2003, sold our house in one day, got rid of 44 years worth of stuff and were on the road July 5, 2003. When we returned to our home town a year later I was reluctant to drive by the old house thinking I'd be very nostalgic and tearful. Nope! I guess the love of the RV life overshadowed any regrets or sadness. And I tend to think of life in chapters and have often had one chapter close and a whole new book open up

We have family in So. CA, Montana, and my parents in Illinois. We actually see more of my parents now than when we lived in CA. Our son thinks we are a bit crazy and worries about us. He needs to see our GPS location on my blog so he always knows where we are. Our daughters love that we are living our dream and consider us a role model. My parents just don't understand why we'd live this way and can never remember where we are

I don't know what the future holds for any of the family but I do know that we are more flexible and able to help than when we were in a stick house. We talk about what we might do if we couldn't travel anymore or if someone in the family needed extended help from us...what would we do? So we have a few scenarios in mind, just in case, but we focus on today as much as possible.

Our kids, grandkids and parents don't need or want us around 24/7 so we are living our own lives while we can and loving it.

greenlady · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hurricane Katrina helped step up our retirement plans. we evacuated in a small 5th wheel and returned home to a mess. won't bore you with the details but we've gotten our forever home, a 5th wheel with slides and we've been living in that for the past year.

our house, that we lived in for 20 years was full of stuff! some of it was thrown out because of water damage. my crafting supplies I've been selling on ebay. Books and clothing were given to various organizations. Our daughter came and took what she wanted and we gave her the honor of keeping the photos. Neighbors spread the word that we were selling furniture and it went quickly. Again, because of Katrina. those who had to replace everything couldn't afford brand new. So I guess you could say we helped in the recovery process. At least for a few families.

because of Katrina I didn't have time or the energy to 'mourn' what was lost. in the end, ridding the house of material things was done by selling what we didn't want to a man who lost everything in the floods. what he couldn't use, he said he had relatives who could.

now all that remains is getting the house ready for sale. it's empty, just a shell of our former life. the memories we have with us. We don't have family in the area so we're not leaving anyone behind. We're a Navy (retired) family and have left friends before. it's hard, but we know we can come back and visit!

any move is emotional, but you can take your memories with you. We're retired now and tomorrow we're heading for the first of many campgrounds in our travels. Hope to see you on the road so I can make new friends and memories

Linda

emeacham · RV-Dreams Family Member

I really appreciate reading about each of your experiences as you got ready or are getting ready to make the transition to full time living in your RV. We are doing the same thing -- going through all the stuff we've accumulated throughout our lives. We have a storage unit which we'll keep a lot of our special things, and have had our children go through the house to "claim" furniture and so forth that they want. Right now I'm getting ready to have a big garage sale this weekend. We're taking our time with this process, the house will go on the market next spring. We're going to be taking a long trip to California and Arizona from mid-December until at least early February, and possibly till March. When we get back, we'll finish getting the house ready and move into the motor home. Maybe taking this much time will soften some of the emotional "trauma" of letting go of the sticks and bricks mentality.

We also have my mother-in-law to consider. She's 78 with lung disease, we we'll need to plan our travels to be able to return to Colorado Springs frequently to touch base with her and her caregivers.

Thanks to all of you for sharing!

Happy Travels,

Ellie

-- Edited by emeacham at 19:53, 2007-01-28

sdowling · RV-Dreams Community Member

Just rented house and are getting ready for garage sale and auction in March. We are excited, but now I have waves of guilt or maybe it is really fear of "what in the world are we doing?" Is this normal??? We have been planning for over a year, so we feel we have everything covered. Hope I make myself clear. Did anyone else have this????

Bob and Sharon · RV-Dreams Community Member

I am going through all my closets for the third time getting ready for our fulltime start in May. We haven't sold our house yet but getting started anyway. I can't seem to let go of much. Down from 102 pairs of shoes to 25, all of which i need. I am 62 years old so i have lots of stuff. My kids have taken what they want. Which was very little. It just breaks my heart to have to let go of all those years of collecting. My sisters kids are coming over tomorrow to get what they want, and the middle of april the volunteer fire department is coming to get the rest. They will have a large yard sale as we have a 4bedroom house with full basement and 3 car garage. I hope by then i will have everything down to one small closet. We are getting rid of everything not putting anything in storage. Scared and excited at the same time.

Sharon

ahoweth · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Sharon:

Sure you feel scared and guilty. Change is one of the scariest things about life and the older you get the scarier it is. It takes you out of your comfort zone and forces you to grow. The past is a wonderful thing and memories provide us with wonderful feelings but life is in tomorrow not in yesterday. Remember when you were young, how much you looked forward to the things you were going to do? Such are the whims of youth but planning for tomorrow helps to keep you younger and improves your outlook on life. No one can change your life but you. You can't change the past but you can change today and tomorrow. Hang in there and relish those feelings of apprehension. It makes our hearts beat a little faster and our blood flow a little faster and puts a little skip in our step. You will find so many poeple out here and they are wonderful, caring, loving poeple. We all can use more of those in our lives. Just ask Howard and Linda about the full-timers they have met.

Our family thought we were nuts. What will you do if something goes wrong? I heard that so many times I was ready to scream. I lived through a time when people were shooting at me and trying to kill me, (Vietnam). I can cope with what ever comes up and you can too. You are pretty good and you are pretty capable or you wouldn't have gotten this far. You still have the skills and abilities you always had. Some of them just take a little longer. Just keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you have been up to.

Auburn War Eagle · RV-Dreams Family Member

I have read over all these replies to emotional transition. Today as I sat in church today I thought about how hard it would be to leave our church. We have been members for almost 15 years. We have known the same minister for all those years. He and the church staff have seen our family through many situations in our lives. I just wonder when so far away, who will be there to hold our hands and pray with us during a medical emergency, if one should arise? Seems so scary to think that no familiar face would be there during those times.
Everywhere I look in our house, all the things we have collected over the years have so many memories connected to them. How do you part with so many things??? Many things that belonged to my Grandmother, that were passed on to my Mother, then on to me.
Our problem will be that when its time to pass things on, our children will be in there 20's and I'm afraid that they will be too young to appreciate some of things that mean so much to us!
Just wondering

Ann

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Ann we have been on the road for almost 6 months now staying in Tucson for the winter. In reading your post about leaving your church you never really leave it as God will be with you always in prayer, your close friends you will still keep through emails and phone.
We also had lots of collectables with only 2 daughters living far from our home. We kept what items we could not part with at this time and put them in a small storage. This may be the answer for your children being young and they will appreciate them in time.
southwestjudy & Bob & 2blackdogs

Here4Now · RV-Dreams Community Member

We went full-time July 10, 2006. I'm glad we did and we don't regret it. We are very content and enjoying full-time according to our standards of being just the two of us, relaxing and de-stressing, learning so much about other parts of the country, and waiting to see what the Lord has for us in the future. We are not one of those "woo-hoo" people about going full-time, but I can say we are very content. Whenever I would clutch about the big step we were taking....and there were numerous times even though we dreamed and planned for over 4 years, I just kept thinking....I don't want to get to 70 years old and say..."Why didn't we?" "What were we afraid of?" "You mean we didn't because of our 'things?'" God kept reminding me that my treasure is in heaven not in my things.

It has been wonderful visiting churches all over the country and seeing how God is working. We still stay in touch with those people who are important to us through e-mail and phone calls. You're right, it's not quite the same; but the reunions are great and with special friends we pick up where we left off...hardly missing a beat.

I used to feel badly that we weren't as exuberant about going full-time as others have been on the net, but we're learning that each of us adjusts and processes differently. We sought the Lord's will in our plans and feel we are right where we're supposed to be...even the times we are a little uncomfortable, because in His will is the best place to be.

We've reconnected as a couple, the visits with our children are sweeter, and we're learning to rely on the Lord in new ways....what a way to grow older! Not having to deal with the Pittsburgh weather isn't bad either!

Doncat · RV-Dreams Family Member

I have not gone fulltime as of yet, but I am preparing to do so. I had the same concerns over leaving my church family. I have come to realize that God wants us to be "moveable". Just think of how many people you will be meeting and sharing God's love. Also being moveable, you can move quite often back to your home base to visit with your church family.
GBY.. Don

-- Edited by Doncat at 08:43, 2007-02-13

emeacham · RV-Dreams Family Member

I was thinking about this thread today as I packed up my doll collection. We are in the process of getting the house emptied to sell. We're currently parked next to the house and living in the motor home.

It was hard saying even a temporary goodbye to all my "babies" that will stay with my sister while we're on the road. I have a still-in-the-box Poor Pitiful Pearl from the late 50's or early 60's, a very nice Tiny Tears, and several other "old" and "new" dolls that I've been collecting for the past 12 years. I've allowed 3 small dolls and 2 stuffed animals to go with us in the motor home. But the rest will wait for me.

On the other hand, I had no emotional twinges at all as I tore up and shredded masses of paper, why oh why do I think I have to keep a copy of every piece of paper that passes through my hands???? When I get through my craft room/office, I think the rest of the house will be a breeze.

Thanks for listening!

Happy Travels,
Ellie

leilani59 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi All.. I have been reading your posts, Howard and Linda you have a terrific webite.. I have found your info. have been so helpful in our decision to fulltime and sell our home, ( which by the way is up for sale) no bites yet, not even an offer.. 6 wks on the market. I guess that we are getting a little anxious to start our journey.
My husband is 60 and i am 58. My husband is retired after serving 30 years in the navy. so the retirement pension will be our living on the road. $3,200 monthly..
We live in Atlantic Beach Fl and a stones throw from Hannah Park. Our house is centrally located 7 blcks from the beach..
The time has come in our lives that we need a change. we have had a bad year with my son getting a Divorce with a little 4 yrs old daughter.. typically we are burnt out.
We have not bought a Fifth Wheel or a truck yet.. The sale of our home will pay cash for what we need.. no debts.we have a suburu that we will have to sell and furniture..
We would like to travel a bit with our fifth wheel and then workamp..
I, like a lot of you are nervous.. Lol, my husband have never driven anything but a ford ranger, Lol.. He says he can do it.. I have been researching websites but continue to come back to Howard and Linda's.. Thanks again for all the good talk and inf. It sure helps..

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Wishing you two the best of luck in selling your home and travel'n. We are still new ......sold house in Sept. and are now full timing it. It seems good at times but then we are always wondering if we made the right decision.. .
southwestjudy & Bob & 2blackdogs

Doncat · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Leilani... I too am retired military, 24 years in the Air Force. The retirement income will help, and maybe even more so is the health insurance. I am not fulltime yet, but planning to do so as soon as I become debt free. I think it will be great to travel this country that we have served during our careers. smile

GBY..................... Don and Cheryl

leilani59 · RV-Dreams Family Member

judy, why do you feel sometimes if you made the right dicision to sell your home.. This is what i do not want, is to sell and regret.. I feel that once we sell we cannot look back at the what ifs and and only look to the future and make the best of what we have..
As my son says we can either stay where we are now and look at our watches and wait for the good lord to take us or travel and see the rest of the country..
As you say Don we want to enjoy the country in which we served.. no bites on our house yet!!! And yes health insurance is great, we only pay 115.00 quarterly..

Donna162 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Judy, I too caught the "wondering if we made the right decision" in your post. I am also interested in what you really mean...I understand the back and forth before you actually get out on the road; but, I don't want to feel that way after we're out there and we've already gotten rid of all the "stuff".

Judy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Well what I am missing most is of course some of those convieneces of the house. It is a give and take situtation. I think I was more settled in my day to day rountine. We were out of N.M. for all the winter months and I missed the state both hubby and myself. Now that we have been to our first Rally it is getting much better. I dont miss the house as much and we are travel'n more often. We have met many friends and keep in touch through emails. Both of us have decided to give ourselves at least one year of full timing. We do have some things stored. I think sometimes I want the best of both worlds by that I mean spending winter months where it is warmer and summers where its comfortable. We have also though about a park model for winter months and travel in the summers with our rv.
southwestjudy & Bob & 2blackdogs

earthmommy · RV-Dreams Family Member

This thread was really interesting and helpful to read. We are about 3 years out from full-timing but we are about to move so there are closets to be cleaned out and stuff to get rid of. I have been doing a lot of paring down of our stuff with our future RV lifestyle in mind and I am surprised to find how easy it has been. The only things I find real connections to are the photos, which will likely go into storage when we hit the road. Everything else I find just doesn't mean that much to me. Then again, I am the wandering type and always have been so things have never really held much allure for me. My hubby on the other hand has ben a little dismayed at how much I have tossed out.

blinky · RV-Dreams Community Member

Hi Here4Now, We are just beginning the journey. We listed our house On May 15th and got an offer the next day! We believe that is just one more confirmation from God to go. We have been at our church for 23 years and have been part of the leadership for most of those years. These people are family. But we strongly believe we are to do this. And our church family is "sending us out".We have shed tears and have also began to feel the freedom of letting go of things. Our kids get most of the furniture. And pics. The rest is going to a garage sale this week and the following week. It is a gammet of emotions but we believe it will be the journey for our lifetime. May God bring our paths to cross as we wander this great land he has blessed us with. Blinky

SoonToTravel · RV-Dreams Family Member

HI leilani, WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU SOLD YOUR HOUSE AND HAVE STARTED TO TRAVEL? HOPE TO MEET YOU NEXT JUNE IN BRANSON, MO.

LOIS

leilani59 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Lois, No we haven't sold the house yet.. Getting a little disappointed as we are always on Howard and Linda's wonderful website and look forward to there journals daily. naturally we are getting very envious.. So we sit here in hot sunny fl unti we get a sale.

RodnReal · RV-Dreams Family Member

This is a really great thread.

I think its natural to miss life as you know it, withdrawels are normal. I've been up since about 4:15 contemplating everything as I often do and was ready to make a post about the emotional aspect of changing our lifestyle when I thought somebody must have posted about this before, and sure enough they had. This thread is very helpful.

I ask myself will I miss

My daughter
The Grandkiddos
My flower garden in the courtyard
Our boat
Fishing the area waters
Our friends
My beautiful new kitchen that took us a year to design and 5 months to build
The house and everything in it

Then I made a mental list of things I won't miss:

Work
Buttheads at work

Well, that pretty much sums it up for me.

Connie

-- Edited by RodnReal on Tuesday 11th of August 2009 04:27:22 AM

-- Edited by RodnReal on Tuesday 11th of August 2009 05:07:09 AM

RodnReal · RV-Dreams Family Member

It was also very helpful to read "Emotional Aspects Of Making The RV Dream Transition" found on the home page for those of you who are in this mindset at the moment.

-- Edited by RodnReal on Tuesday 11th of August 2009 05:18:35 AM

GENECOP · RV-Dreams Family Member

First off, this is a great thread, the level of honest sharing is heartwarming and helpful. Virginia and i are nervous and excited , for the same reasons that everyone has mentioned. I also realize that the decision to fulltime is NOT irreversable. While it may not be conveniant to find another home and begin to rebuild a stockpile of mostly unessecary junk again, that option is always there. G

Happytrails · RV-Dreams Family Member

Oh Wow! You hit the nail on the head. We close on our house Friday - 3 days. We have been purging, packing, selling etc. you get the picture. I have been going through our stuff so I can throw away what isn't keepable and pack what is. In doing so I have located several boxes of my parents - both have passed away. Tons of pictures and bits and pieces of their lives. Wow! Meltdown! At the same time our only son is moving into his own place. Now I know it is time, beyond time, but he has lived with us during his college years and now for a year since he began his new career. He wanted to save up some money which in this economy is a good idea. Well, now he is leaving and it is emotional for both Mike and I. A big moment for him and we are so happy for him and proud of him but this is a huge milestone for any parent. Meltdown! In the middle of all of this I have a sweet, sweet 18 year old Shih Tzu. She is blind, deaf and has cancer. Her prognosis is not a good one. We know her time with us is coming to an end. Well, I really love my animals and they are like part of the family. Knowing I am loosing her is so hard. Another closure. Meltdown!!!!!

We have waited so long for this dream and had to put it on hold a couple of times. We were worried the house would never sell - so many emotions. I think I have read Linda and Howard's post on the "Emotional Transition" at least 6 times in the past week. We are tired and I think whenever you are tired you are more emotional. Each morning I get a text message from Mike telling me how many more days he has until he is retired. We are excited! We are about to live our dream and the reality just hasn't set in yet. It will though!!

Linda, thank you for bringing this post up again. I know we are not the only ones fixing to "hit the road." It is nice to know everything we are feeling is totally normal. We just can't wait to sit with other fulltimers and enjoy this wonderful lifestyle. We are especially looking forward to the rally!

RodnReal · RV-Dreams Family Member

Gene and HappyTrails, best of luck to both of you. Hang in there, soon we all will see the forest through the trees.

I really needed this at the moment. Some kind of reassurance that life will be okay, well, better than okay when this is all said and done.

Knowing that others go through these same emotions during the planning and get ready stage is very helpful. You are right, the honest sharing of feelings about this here has comforted me.

I appreciate this forum more than you know.

Connie

-- Edited by RodnReal on Tuesday 11th of August 2009 01:24:38 PM

TK · RV-Dreams Community Member

This is a great thread to read through and see all that I have in front of me as I get closer to living the dream.

The good news is that memories don't take up any storage room and don't add any weight to the rig. Memories and the things they are attached to are very different things. Giving up the stuff doesn't mean the memories go too.

AnnDon · RV-Dreams Family Member

Transition is never easy. But we always have a choice even though some choices are limited. A lot of you are/were waiting for retirement. Some of us became ill, lost our careers and were forced into early retirement. Finances sometimes forces your decision. We both worked very hard for what we have (had). Then life gave us lemons, so we looked at the situation and decided to make lemonade. Our choice was limited. We could either become full time RVers, or move into subsidized housing. We chose our freedom for as long as we are able to.

I became ill several years ago, and continued to work until my team of physicians said I was finished and forced me to leave my career, even though I had only a few years till I could retire and collect a pension. My husband basically had the same thing happen to him (unrelated illness) but no pension. We had insurance to cover our mortgage for a few years and had been living on what we could sell out of our home to survive. The insurance will be done paying the mortgage real soon. I had to cash in the pension at a 50% loss to help keep us afloat. We have had at least 2 dozen people look at our home, with a quarter wanting to buy but unable to get financing. Next month we will run it with a realtor if we can find one (most in our state are swamped at this time) then pray the house will sell, if it doesn't it, it will be foreclosed upon.

We were lucky enough that we were able to sell enough personal items to afford to buy a large older class A. It sits outside of our home now, and we will be moved into it totally in the next few weeks. We have enough to keep our electric turned on for another month or so, but in about 2 to 4 weeks our telephone, Internet and TV will be shut off.

We finally had to break down and apply for assistance (still waiting to receive the application, its been a week now) until our SSD comes through (our attorney said it could be another 4 to 12 months, we are on round 4). I was told it will take 30 to 60 days to get assistance and when the SSD does come through they will take back whatever funds we have received in the mean time.

Our son is stationed in Iraq and has a wife here in the area but no children. He tried to help as much as he could but is no longer able to. He has to plan for their future when he returns sometime next spring. He has no job waiting for him, so he will be forced to look for work in another state. My parents live next door, but live on a fixed income. I always thought I would be the one to take care of them. Now, they are in better shape then I am. I am the oldest and my siblings live a few hours away. My husband is an only child and his mother lives an hour from here, but her church people tend to everything she needs (she prefers it that way).

The worst part of all this, is getting rid of everything in the house, and saying good-bye to the few close friends and family we do have. It is very emotionally trying. At one point we even thought about giving up completely. So we now look to the future of traveling with the weather (the heat makes me feel better, and my husband who was in the Army doesn't mind the heat at all). We want to be in FL before the snow flies here. We are not sure how to get the money to get there yet, but we are working on it.

This area is so economically depressed. As soon as we move into the coach, we are thinking of calling a person who buys household items and have them come get the rest of our old things. Hopefully we can get enough money from it to get us to FL.

So... No more depressing thoughts... We shall look to the future and the light is shinning at the end of the tunnel. I posted to this, so others who might be in a similar situation can feel as if they are not alone. Keep smiling as best you can, and remember "Less is More"! Ann

RodnReal · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hang in there Ann and Don. Behind every challenge in life there is a new beginning.

You both have been challenged in many ways and look are strong you are. You are looking toward the future and will survive no matter what cards you're dealt. You have so far.

There are some things in life that are simply out of our control. No use fretting about them, it changes nothing. You just have to carry on with what you have and make the best of it. You can do this.

I think once you get on the road you might find some Workamp opportunities even if its taking reservations and make enough to get to where you are going. Hopefully what seems like a painful transition now, will soon free you of at least some of the stress you are currently going through. Keep in mind, stuff is just stuff, as long as you have eachother and the will to survive which you obviously do, you will find a way to make it work.

-- Edited by RodnReal on Wednesday 12th of August 2009 07:54:09 AM

nwlambear · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Everyone! Haven't been on here a lot lately....been so busy! Spent 3 weeks back East with family in Virginia and Delaware...it was wonderful, but exhausting. It's probably the last time I'll fly to visit family. Our 5th Wheel ('Cougar') was delivered to our house Tuesday...August 11th. I....we.....were so excited that we couldn't sleep the night before. We were like a couple of kids on Christmas Eve...lol. I've been so exhausted since Tuesday. Not sure, but I think I feel overwhelmed. We absolutely love the 5th Wheel. DH has been playing with whatever setup he plans on having as far as communications (wireless, etc.). I have been spending a lot of time in the 5th wheel relaxing.....listening to music....thinking of the future. I guess I feel overwhelmed....thinking can we do this????? Will we be able to travel within a strict budget? Will we be able to find safe secure boondocking locations? What if we get ourselves into a situation....like a too narrow road, you can't get turned around? Or bridges? or tunnels? all the rules...regarding propane, pets, health issues, .... yata yata yata. Just feeling overwhelmed!!! It really helps to read all of your posts though...'cause then I don't feel alone. Thanks for being out there....all of you!! In the next few weeks I know I must tackle "the stuff"....here in the house. Sorting, sorting, sorting.....selling, giving away, throwing out "stuff". Although we are not selling our property right now....that time may come down the road. but, there's no matter time than the present to "downsize"....and clean out "stuff". I'll probably start with my little home office.....(cough)...more like junkroom....file cabinets, papers, sewing machine, boxes of fabric...and on the list goes. Til later...Regards Tricia (nwlambear)

AnnDon · RV-Dreams Family Member

As far as getting rid of sewing materials and craft supplies... Check in your area for organizations, churches, etc. They may have a quilting bee that make quilts for the elderly and disabled, also our local school for the mental challenged sometimes take craft items also.

norsado2 · RV-Dreams Family Member

we have not even started to go thru 30 years of stuff and but I know someone in need is going to luv it cause there is plenty of good stuff we haven't used in years

nwlambear · RV-Dreams Family Member

Thanks "AnnDon" for the suggestion regarding my sewing materials and craft supplies. I'll look into that. I also have a lot of little stuffed animals (husband gave them to me over the years). Thought about checking with the hospital. Maybe they can be used for children in the hospital. Or....locations for homeless families? I'll look into that also. Any ideas how to freshen them up. Think I could put them in the dryer with something to remove any dust they may have in them? Maybe a drycleaning machine...think some laudromats have them don't they?

Whew....30 years of stuff!! "norsado2"....don't envy that. Thank goodness I've been "downsizing" for quite a few years now. But there is still "stuff". One of my biggest challenges is my genealogy "stuff". Until we actually decide to sell our property I think I'm going to use the guest bedroom to "store" those items I can make a decision--later-- on whether they go or stay...at least for now. Hugs to you all!!

-- Edited by nwlambear on Friday 14th of August 2009 12:08:04 PM

Gary · RV-Dreams Family Member

For the genealogy stuff, couldn't you scan it and save it on a computer or other storage medium? That's what my family is doing now. We are sorting through years and years of information and either scanning it in or typing it out so we have it.

The original "record", if scanning isn't possible, will have to be stored somewhere but most anyplace (if you don't have a scanner yourself) can do scanning (Kinkos, etc).

Right now, I am in the process of scanning pictures and sorting thru stuff, one room at a time, starting with my "office". Lots of stuff to go through there before hitting the big rooms!

Sure am glad we have time to do this slowly.

travelinmama · RV-Dreams Family Member

Familiar feelings for everyone. We have made that transition as well. We gave our two weeks notice on Monday. I tried as word got out, to go to each of my key people and let them know what we were doing. Some expected it, some had been watching the signs we had been leaving in subtle ways.

So, Wed. night, (this was harder than getting rid of everything!), I told my 45 leaders and 80 children I minister to. Some wrote me letter of love and what a difference I have made to their life, some talked one on one with me how I have helped them in the past 5 years. Some are in shock, some are thrilled, some are... losing it totally.
Leaving my "people" is harder than getting rid of stuff. I rebuilt a ministry that was basically just making it.

Most of those people didn't realize that we sold both cars, sold or gave away all our furniture, gave tools to son, even got rid of pictures - sent much to kids, but those that were already in scrapbooks were tossed. I love books! LOVE THEM! But, had to pare those down too, I was able to keep my ministry books and school books but that is about it. 4 boxes in the truck and pictures and scrapbook stuff in the truck.

I spent the last few mo. quietly cleaning out my office, books and more, pictures, that part was easy since I knew we would need to pack them up. But I was teaching differently than I had before, I knew time was short.

Sitting in our garage was incredible. Bookcases with stuff on them, tons of furniture, tons of stuff, gone and to other families. My friend has a furniture consignment shop sold a lot of our stuff. We took old gold to the pawn shop and traded a gold necklace for a guitar for me.

We must go from Comfort to Courage to live a dream that we all have. We will still be working, but on the road.

Happytrails · RV-Dreams Family Member

This is a really interesting ongoing thread. I just took a look and saw where we had posted comments on Sept. 14, 2006 and then Aug. 11, 2009. Now we have been full-timing for almost 8 months. It was interesting to see our own transition in reference to the emotional aspects of full-timing. We love this lifestyle.....it is everything everybody said it would be. The emotions change though as you grow into full-timing. Too me one of the most emotional parts of full-timing is leaving friends that you have met and grown to love. Saying good-bye is tough. When we visit "home" it is tough to say good-bye to family BUT we and they know we will be back. We have a rolling home and can go wherever we want which includes back to them. Have I missed my "stuff?" No, I haven't even thought about any of it. There is a freedom that is hard to discribe. We are happy....happier than we have ever been in our lives. Yes, there is emotion is leaving initially but it is worth every moment.... so just work through those emotions and follow your dreams.

TxYellowRose · RV-Dreams Family Member

Mike and Gerri,

It is so helpful to see your recent post in this section. We will be hitting the road in early July.

We are now down to getting ready for a moving sale in mid May and I have put some of the larger furniture items on craigslist.

This is kinda silly....but today I sold my coffee table and tomorrow probably my loveseat. I say "my" in the sense that I bought these before Dave and I got together. I had just come out of breast cancer treatment and painful divorce. These two pieces were the first "nice" - I mean brand new Ashley Furniture - pieces that I bought on my own.

So many naps on the loveseat...often shared with cat(s) and/or dog. The coffee table was a gunmetal frame with the surface being earth-colored stone/tile that fit into the framework. Very unique. Very earthy. Very me.

Silly, but it's like giving up a piece of my heart.

I know that it is only furniture and that I will get over it. The good news we are selling stuff to add to our start-up fund!

So thanks for your recent post. Lets me know I'm not alone. Linda, thank you for starting this thread.

Cheers, all!

ali1257 · RV-Dreams Community Member

Hello there!

Just joined the forum and saw this thread. I have read through all of them. It brought back memories of when we made our decision to live full time in our RV. We have been doing it since 11/06.

We do have a storage unit that we plan to clean out this coming Fall when we return home from a season of working/traveling with a carnival here in the Pacific Northwest.

Just wanted to let you all know you are not alone in the questions and emotions that you go through when moving from a sticks & bricks place to a home on wheels.

janieD · RV-Dreams Family Member

I am so glad someone brought this thread back. I had read through it before but this time I needed it. We will shortly (next week) be living only in the 5th wheel and so are doing the final purge. I hadn't had any trouble getting rid of things until this week and I guess it suddenly hit me that this wasn't in the future it is now. I also went to my last faculty meeting - I teach at a community college and made sure I told them all how much i appreciated them over the years. On Saturday I speak at this classes graduation and it is the last class (I teach in a dental hygiene program) that I will see graduate. I teach this summer but these woman will have moved on I know it is going to be an emotional day for me. I am very excited about the future but I am thankful for communities like this one that allows me to know that I am not alone in my thinking and that it is a natural part of the transition. Thanks so much to all of you who have shared on this thread.

heyduke · RV-Dreams Family Member

well we aren't yet moved from a S&B to a rig yet... heck we don't even have a rig yet... but what I have noticed is that by allowing a long time before making the move into a rig it allows you to more slowly let go of things one at a time... we are now getting to the point (after 5-6 months of selling on craigslist) of selling things of more tangible value with more memories attached to them... just yesterday I sold some wood carving we got in Mexico at puerto penasco which reminded me of all the sensory sensations of being on that trip... still lots to part with...

Cyndi · RV-Dreams Community Member

We had our first yard sale last week - a joint one with two other families/close friends. At the end of the day on Sunday, we still had lots and lots of stuff - which we boxed up and put into three, yes three pickup trucks to be taken to the thrift shop. I briefly flirted with the idea of holding on to it all for another chance to make a few more bucks - I mean, these were important items in our lives or we wouldn't have bought them in the first place, right? But then I remembered all the advice I've heard about just letting it go, so I did just that. And off it went, and I have no regrets. Now that it's been a week, I don't miss any of it, and am looking forward to the continued gradual purge.

Another kind of emotion related to all this is sympathy for family "left behind." My 28-year-old daughter is very "blue" about our pending departure. She had some severe health issues from age 19 to 26 (ulcerative colitis) - which we've learned through a support forum can definitely affect her emotional maturity and dependence on us. She's working real hard at preparing herself for our leaving, but the initial conversation was a bit teary. She knows she can't expect us to stay here - just as she knows she can call and text any time we have cell phone service - but she still is not looking forward to the day we roll away from southern California. She keeps busy with work at a casino, playing soccer and softball, and friends, but I fully understand her when she says she's going to be "lonely."

Thanks for letting me add to the conversation about the emotional transition.

Dreamers · RV-Dreams Family Member

Yes, it gets depressing for me too sometimes as things slowly leave. I keep telling myself how wonderful it will be when we finally get on the road and are free - free & free.

Our house has not sold so we are constantly transitioning from highs to lows to highs again. We made the decision on Nov. 14th, 2009, to pursue fulltime rv living. But due to medical problems, we didn't get the house on the market until March 15th. We have had one person look at it and he made an offer and a couple of counters but we were just too far apart to end up with a contract. That was on April 21st thru 26th. It has not been shown again since then. On top of that, the people we were dealing with went three doors down in or neighborhood and are buying that one. Really emotional!!!

We have had 2 yard sales already and we recently carried a load of stuff to our daughters in Virginia. We now have no regular dishes and my husband no longer as an edger for the yard, and many other similar things are now gone. But we have to keep living here until it sells. Planning another yardsale in June (unless the house sells and we have to push it up) and hope that is the last one until the time comes to have a "living estate sale". Sometimes we wonder if we are doing the right thing. Maybe we aren't in the Lord's will for our life.

It seems that everytime we locate a possible rig for us, it sells before we get there to look at. Apparently we have a popular taste. We're trying to buy used. We would like to have the rig before we move out of the house - easier transitioning. I'm still working so we can finance and then payoff with the house proceeds.

But, nothing seems to be working for us. We want out there so bad and it's just one road block after another.

Well maybe I unloaded my emotions in the wrong place but I needed to unload. Things just aren't working out.

Judy