Hazel,

I haven't yet gone through the transition from brick-and-stick living to living in an RV, but I have been preparing myself by downsizing for the last two years. I wonder if I will feel liberated when the final garage sales are done and everything, including the garage and house, is no longer mine. But I do know that when I am done and I have my life's "possessions" whittled down to the things I will need to enjoy and survive a life on the road, I will be freer to travel to see the people I care for (family and friends) and the places I'd like to be a part of, if only for a short period of time (such as living near the Grand Canyon for a month). I'd also be freer to work on the things I want to (art, writing, video) instead of a house and property that consumed most of my free time.

As far as not getting back what things are worth, remember that new value and replacement value are way above garage-sale value. If you've gotten some use out of an item, then getting a bit of money out of it when you sell it is important, but so is the fact that the item is going to someone who is also going to get use out of it, and that you have helped that person by passing along the item(s) that you won't need. And you've helped the environment.

I feel the same about selling my house. I want to see a young family move in here and bring up their kids in this beautiful setting just as I did three decades earlier. I will be proud to know that I have passed along a real homestead for them to love while they are here.

It's a bit like this: If I had money, I'd want to give as much away as possible to my kids (or good causes) BEFORE I died, so this way I could see how much I have helped them while I am alive. Alas, I haven't won any lotteries, so I can't give them money (until I sell the house!).

By liquidating everything except what you truly need, you are making the world a better place and helping someone else. It's okay to "let stuff go" though it feels unnatural!

Good luck.

Frank

Hazel,

Yes, this is stressful - that's why you need to make some time for YOU. Go get an ice cream cone (well, that's my remedy, but it does work), sit in a park and just watch the world go by for a while. You need to let some of the stress wash away. You appear to have a handle on the fact that it is just stuff - - and we all go through the "why did we ever have all of this stuff?" and find that once you get started, every little bit that is sold/given away takes a little bit of stress off the shoulders.

A year from now you will wonder why you thought it was so hard to let go when letting go meant you had new adventurers ahead of you. It does get better. And, when you start to wind down and think about spending time in just one place (maybe for the winter) you'll be surprised at how your priorities will have changed. Functionality, things to make life easier, minimal amounts of stuff - we learn to do with less and enjoy more! Plus, in the end you've done your family a big favor and they won't have a wad through a huge amount of stuff after you're gone.

Barb and Dave, I can almost feel the blessed relief just imagining the 'AFTER'. AFTER the organizing of who gets what, AFTER the carting out of stuff is done, AFTER the massive garage sale is over, AFTER the hauling away of the charity donations, AFTER the house and workshop and outbuildings are empty. I know there WILL be an AFTER! Thanks for reminding me.

I need to keep my eye on the prize = ADVENTURES! LOL

Thanks for making the point that we're saving our children so much work and hassle in the long run. Right now they don't understand why on earth we would give up our lovely home at our age. I told them it's precisely BECAUSE of our age!!! We need fun and challenges and new experiences and new friends! So there! Plus they get to have our good stuff now.

I was also feeling the stress of having nowhere to go until we can snowbird down south but today we found a wonderful RV park that gave us a fabulous deal for September and October. What a relief!

One little step at a time.........

(Hubby DID have an ice cream treat today and I had a lick......does that count? )

 

 

Hi Hazel,

First of all I appreciate your honesty. My home was never one I was attached to so that was pretty easy, but some of the things were very difficult. At some point...and it may have been about 6 months in...I started thinking of my rig as my home and something eased in my heart. I also realized most of those things I could no longer picture so they probably didn't mean as much as I originally thought they did. All that being said it was a process. I didn't flip a switch in my head and everything was just fine. It was a huge amount of change and I struggled. I think that's normal for many of us (although there are certainly others that jump right in without looking back). My advice is be honest with yourself, be honest with your partner, and give yourself time. It takes awhile to acclimate, it truly does. There will be things you like better, and probably things you don't like as much as your old life. You get to decided what the tipping point is and it may change as you experience more things in the lifestyle.

Good luck to you and I am glad you reached out to the group. They have been a wonderful support system for me over the last two years.

Trace

kb0zke wrote:

---

As we were sorting through stuff, the kids had the opportunity to claim anything that they wanted that we weren't taking with us. Whatever was left over was either burned (their was lots in this category), sold (the majority), or given away. It was eye-opening to find out how little our children really wanted. All of us were happy that we got all of this taken care of BEFORE a nursing home or funeral added to the stress.

 

 

We did the same thing and it was a very interesting experience.  I totally agree I am glad we did why we were still healthy.

 

Trace

 

During our purge - between the sale of the house and closing - I walked into the living room one afternoon to find Laura sitting on the floor with something in her lap and quietly weeping. The object was a gift her son had given her but that had been stored in a closet or box for several years. She was struggling with getting rid of it, not because of what it was, but because of who had given it to her. The gift was eventually given to one of our Hispanic friends or sold in one of our garage sales. 

A couple of months after we hit the road, Laura asked me if I remembered the incident. I did and asked, "Why." She said, "Do you remember what it was that I was crying over? I don't." We feel much the same way, now, about the few things we left in a storage unit in South Carolina, too. It has been a liberating experience. What we value now is time with our aging mothers, our ever-increasing brood of grandchildren, seeing the sights, and not having to worry about what's going on "back home." Hang in there!

Rob

Rob, thanks for sharing that story about Laura. I've had crying fits at the strangest times too like watering the flowers or tossing my rocks and shells.

It's so true though. Once the stuff is gone, you can't even remember what it all was! Maybe our age and forgetfulness will work to our benefit. LOL Liberation......YES! Freedom from maintaining so many material things. We need to collect adventures and experiences not stuff.

Ron and Janice, you're just barely behind us. Let's stay focussed on the goal and keep sharing.

I realized today that what I'm feeling, and maybe other newbies are too, is FEAR! It sounds crazy but when I look deeper and deeper, I can see that I'm afraid of such big decisions, of such big changes, and of burning our bridges. It'll have to be "Feel the fear and do it anyway" for now.

Hazel

I feel ya Hazel. The bags of clothes that still need to go to Goodwill, the silverware, glasses, cups, kitchen appliances ... etc. (rig already has them). It's just overwhelming at times. It may take us several months to get thru all this, and I haven't even started on the garage. Man do we have a LOT of stuff. I think I'll have a martini now ... tomorrow will be better.

Our downsizing is 95% done and it has been tremendously liberating. We too were amazed at how little the kids wanted, and hopefully they recognize what a blessing it is that THEY will not have to deal with all the stuff when that time comes. Now, when 'that' time comes, we will probably have accumulated a whole 'nother collection of stuff, but that's a separate issue! At least this collection is gone! A lot of the stuff was sold and a lot we gave to young couples just starting out - what a blessing it was to see how much it was needed! Some of it was hard - for example, no one wanted my great-grandmother's rocking chair made for her wedding in 1880. So, it was sold in an antique store for $100. It may sound hard-hearted, but at the end of the day, it's just stuff....

We have been on the road for a little over a month now, after preparing for our full-time transition for about a year. I have definitely had my share of tears along the way but I have learned so much about what is truly important to me. I took tons of photos of my "stuff" before I sold it or gave it away and I gave away TONS of stuff. I invested in a good scanner and preserved lots of memories electronically where it made sense. Now I just have to scroll through images on my computer to reminisce, but I have to say, I haven't missed most of it. Our kids wanted very little, they are of the generation that doesn't value material things at this point in their lives, but I did make them take a few things :)

Change is harder for some people than others. I'm not very good at it. There is a part of me that still feels like I'm on vacation and we'll be going "home" soon. But as the flag that my daughter bought me says: "Home is where you park it!".  What is most important is spending time with the people that you love - in my case my amazing husband - and having the opportunity to visit family and friends and see this breathtakingly beautiful country.

You will find time and opportunity for the things that you really love - that is why most of us chose this lifestyle. It may be different, but it can still be wonderful. And I'm sure that I'll shed some more tears along the way, but stuff can be replaced. And we're always making new memories every day.

Best of luck and see you on the road.

Cheryl

Cheryl, thank you for your perspective from a month into full timing. Photos are a good idea and I did take some when the house was perfectly staged to sell.

Your comment about 'feeling that you're on vacation and when will you go home' struck home. I wonder if that time will come for me? Maybe that will be time to visit family in their familiar homes.

It IS time and experiences that we hope to gain on our travels. Less time on things and more time on people and our hobbies/passions. Life is too short to waste on 'stuff'.

Thanks, Patti. Mourning is exactly what this is. All full time newbies need to give themselves permission to grieve. Women may recognize this more readily than men, don't you think?

I AM doing better and do you know what helped the most? Our massive garage sale yesterday! The barn was full of all our household goods, and the workshop had tools and boat stuff. Our son and daughter were here to help out, and our sweet 8 year old grandson set up a lemonade stand.

We had the most fantastic day! Yes, we made a staggeringly HUGE wad of cash, and cleaned out so many things but the main thing was that the letting go was EASY! It was because 99% of the people were sweet and friendly, were neighbours or local folks, and loved and appreciated the things they bought. Our stuff found good new homes! We chatted and laughed and exchanged email addresses with some. 2 different women brought their natural homemade soaps for our trip. So sweet! It was an absolutely WONDERFUL day! I went to bed happy and relieved.

Today we were a little wiped out but several friends dropped by who couldn't come yesterday, and we were able to gift them all kinds of good things. We forgot to take down the signs at the end of our country road so more people came and we made a few hundred dollars more!

Things seem to be falling into place so easily that we feel that this is indeed the right decision and the right time. I'm excited.

I can only wish that everyone else's journey to full timing goes as well.

Hazel

Oh my goodness, Terry! Your photos are STUNNING!!! You're absolutely right......there is so much more natural beauty to see on our amazing continent. I just hope that we can figure out how to find it all! LOL

Of course I don't have much time to spend on your photos or blog right now, but I've bookmarked them and VERY SOON I will have soooo much more time! Another bonus of full timing!

Thanks so much for sharing and for the encouragement. People here (and on the road!) are truly wonderful.

Cheers, Hazel

Mike, I'm so sorry that you've started out full timing with such problems. I hope it's all figured out and repaired soon. I guess life and its problems go on whether we're at home or full timing.

6 months from a life in a house to life in an RV must be quite an adjustment especially if you didn't feel ready. It's interesting that your wife was keener than you to full time. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until you feel at peace. One day at a time.

Our time line is even shorter! 2 months from house to RV! We had been considering it off and on for a year but then suddenly made a final decision. At least we'll have 2 months in an RV park in our home area to adjust before we hit the road.

Good to know that you've found fellow RVers are so friendly and helpful. The lifestyle makes for relaxed, happy people!

Good idea, Jerry!

As things 'disappear', so far I feel lighter and lighter. Soon I will fly away! LOL

Hazel

-- Edited by Hazel on Saturday 6th of August 2016 02:25:10 PM

I suspect you are going through the withdrawal phase of this process. For me, at the moment, it's my beloved model trains. Just can't seem to part with them. LOL. Their time is coming so in that regard I am resigned to it.  We visited with my mother this week and in our travels we saw a sign the was just so apropos...

"Life is more than just stuff."  This could apply to a nice home on 16 acres just as easily as clinging to anything else.  

Recent Cindi was in California attending a wedding on her side of the family and tying up some loose ends relating to the death of her mother a couple of years ago. I was at home tending to the more mundane tasks of home ownership. In a weak moment, it dawned on me that the house, the yard, the stuff we had accumulated over the years was just too much for one person to manage... too much stuff.  I called her and shared my feelings with her on it. Yep, we have a nice home, nice furnishings, nice yard, nice toys... but I look at it now and think... I was kidding myself that this is what I wanted. It's all an illusion. People and experiences are far more valuable. I came to this realization years ago but didn't really believe it at first, then slowly over time as "life" happens... But looking back I cannot regret this fact, nor can I resent the place that I currently find myself. Just keep moving forward. Besides researching the lifestyle, planning our adventures going forward is rather exciting all by itself... and in what now seems a very short couple of years that adventure will become a reality... fingers crossed and with determination to make it happen. 

So it should be with you.

FWIW, Brian

We have been FT for a year. It was daunting to get rid of stuff and the home we had made ours. One thing that made it easier was that I had two relatives pass away where I had to be the one to liquidate their estate. With no other relatives willing and without me knowing them very well, I had no emotional ties to their stuff. Things that I am sure meant something to them were given away or trashed. It was sad, but I clearly saw that material things are fun for a moment. Today I see much greater value in experiences and interactions with others. I have learned from others and taught others. I have spoken to people of many different faiths and shared my faith in Christ so we can better understand one another. I have helped someone who had no where else to turn and vanished without them ever knowing my name. We have watched the sunset from many different locations and kissed each day. A long time from now (I hope), when I am in a small room contemplating my next trip to the bathroom, I won't be staring at a cabinet full of fine china. I will be reliving the moments.

Thank you for continuing this thread! One doesn't get to be a 'Fulltimer' without going through this stressful and emotional stage. I guess it's a rite of passage.

These 2 snippets of wisdom stand out: "Life is more than stuff." and "Material things are fun for a moment." Most of us, if we've been lucky or smart in our lives, have had MORE than enough material possessions, big and small. By this stage of life, if we're even luckier and smarter, we can figure out what will make us content for the rest of our active years.

People and experiences! Relationships and adventures! Those are our new goals.

With only 22 days left (!) our clearing out is still going well. Barer and emptier. Less is more is our motto!

We have been full timers for 9 years now. We felt a calling to do volunteer work (church building) before we left our sticks and bricks home. We gave heirlooms to the kids and whatever else they wanted and sold or gave away the rest. We had a house with swimming pool on a small acreage with horses, barn, and out buildings. We had no regrets at the time and have not missed anything because it was all just "material stuff". We have been very blessed to see 49 states 5 provinces and volunteered on over 40 projects. We plan on continuing as long as our health holds up. Has all this happened without anything going wrong? No, there will always be bumps in the road whether you stay in one place or are traveling all over, it is not realistic to think otherwise, but we can both say that it has been a totally worthwhile adventure. This life is not for everyone so think long and hard before you make the plunge. We have had more pleasant experiences and seen so much of God's beautiful creation in these 9 years then most people could in 100 years.

RonC wrote:

---

We will be putting our house on the market next week. So ready to be out from under the weight of all this stuff!! $10K per year in taxes ... really!! Who thinks that is a good investment for 10 years? $100 grand for the "privilege"of living in a "paid for" house ... really?? I don't think so. Can't wait to start living the full time (less tax) lifestyle!!

---

 What a joy to read someone else thinking the same way I do.   We pay over $10K a year in property taxes in Florida as non-homesteaders as well house insurance and flood premiums they decided two years ago to add an additional premium with it not being our main residence and here at our acreage we pay over C$1000/month in property taxes and house insurance and we have no garbage collection, no street lighting, pump our own water and have our own septic and so the story goes.   Then we get the privilege of driving around seeing city and county workers standing around chatting in groups of 5 or 6 on a project monitoring one guy with a spade or spanner, using "OUR" tax paid dollars for their wasteful time.   Yeah, that's right!!   We're done with paying all these taxes and costs associated with house ownership too.  

Few more months to go hopefully and it'll all be behind us and FTing here we come - Fla house went back on market this week, but sadly no showings yet.    Just can't wait to "let go" of oh so much on the ties that bind.   Heck we aren't expecting it all to be plain sailing when we hit the road FT but I see it as my "get out of jail" card so to speak for a while at least :)

Routing for you guys for a speedy sale.

SomeDay = almost here!   Patience grasshopper, Patience!

We have had our RV just at a year now. We are still a few years from retirement but have really enjoyed the trips we have made this past year. Selling it all and hitting the road seems more appealing the more time we spend in the RV. But I don't want to go through the emotional part of giving it all up. We have a modest home in the middle of the country that I think would serve us well as a home base for our travels. "The Plan" is to travel for several years and have one of the kids live here until we are ready to return. I always said the best part of vacation is the day before vacation starts. Once you are on vacation the days are ticking off. I kind of feel we are at that point right now, just before retirement starts, and I want to enjoy it while the feeling is there. Actual retirement may not be as good as the last year we have just had or the next year to come. For those our there living the dream of full timing, what would you say the percentage of those who sold there home regretted it later?

Sitting on the Fence
Mark & Becky

You know ... this would be a total SWAG, but based on this website and Escapees, I only recall a handful. The vast majority seem EXTREMELY happy with their choice. Many (we'll be in this group ourselves), sell their homes, put the money in the bank, and when/if they decide to give up the RV lifestyle, use that money to buy a new place. The upside (for me) is avoiding all those taxes over the years. In Texas, there is no state income tax or personal property tax. The PRIMARY tax revenue stream is from REAL ESTATE taxes (sales tax is also in there, but that is not any different than most places). So compared to many states, Texas real estate taxes are HIGH. Not everyone would be in the same situation, so that could lead to a different approach than the one I've chosen. In my personal situation, we will avoid $25K per year in home ownership related expenses, and incur $12K in RV related costs (net plus $13K) so for us it is an easy decision.



-- Edited by RonC on Sunday 23rd of October 2016 02:14:50 PM

__________________
Ron and Janice



2016 Ford F350, King Ranch, DRW, 3.73's, 4x4, CC, 6.7 Powerstroke, remote control air lift system

2017 K-Z Durango Gold 381REF

24,830 lbs CGVW




In our limited travels if I come across a full timer I always ask if there is any regrets. So far the only regret has been not starting sooner. I still fear selling it all, but I keep asking.

Mark & Becky

Hazel, everyone is different. We have been planning full time for 6 years. She scrapbooks and I ?play? Guitar and tinker with the vehicles and RV. Our "stuff" is easy to get rid of because we adapted for 6 years. During that time it truly became just stuff. The art work, the furniture, all just stuff that stood between us and our dream. We didn't start our purge until we moved into the RV. I don't suggest that for anyone. It's kinda like turtle soup. The more we chew, the bigger it gets. To make it worse, our youngest has surgery nov 4 in cali and we have to be in Denver on Nov 8. I've threatened to go back to work to rest up!

Some of my more valuable possessions have been given to friends because they have admired them for some time. My turntable, amp, and tuner, along with most of my jazz records has a new home with a close friend who really appreciates them. The value to me is someone else's happiness. Monetary gain was never considered in our plan.

Good luck on your transition. It is something we all deal with in our own way.

Really good news!! The house went on the market Thursday (Nov 3rd). Today is Saturday and we got our second offer today! The house was previously scheduled to be shown tomorrow, so we're going to let that happen. Who knows, there may be another offer.😜 Needless to say it's going well so far. Probably making a decision early next week on which offer turns out best. We are blessed. Should move into our 5er on Monday, unless more requests to view come in. Then comes the estate sale. I can see the roses from here, I just can't smell them yet. Soon😄😄

Yeah, we consider ourselves very fortunate. Final sale was to the first offer, who "adjusted" their offer after two more came in. We accepted today ... now we go thru the option period. There ain't nothin easy about any of this. It ain't over til it's over. (BTW, ain't is a real word in Texas). 😀