In my research phase - RV-Dreams Community Forum

Torn_In_TN · RV-Dreams Community Member

In my research phase

ticat900 · RV-Dreams Family Member

In my research phase???????????????????

Ok research phase for what?? new car , coffee maker ??

Torn_In_TN · RV-Dreams Community Member

lol, for being full timers he will be retired and / or on disability but I will still be working full time.

Barbaraok · RV-Dreams Family Member

If you can't bring yourself to tell your family what you are going to do then you need to rethink your plans, because you really aren't sure this is what you want. Successful fulltimers are those who know what they want to do and aren't afraid to be open and honest with their families. Besides, do you really think your family is combing through RV forums to see if you are posting there?

Torn_In_TN · RV-Dreams Community Member

That is my point. We are really undecided and dont want to stir the water without knowing if we are even going to swim. Trying to get all the pros and cons out to see before we open it for discussion.

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

I wouldn't worry too much about a lot of it. There are a number of folks here that kept their plans "close to the vest" until they got closer to actually doing something. And, this is a good website and forum for gathering information. If you read blogs (usually can find links in people's signature area) and Howard and Linda's journal, that will teach one a lot and also give you an idea of what one can do with RV's. Considering that you are still going to be working full-time, that may limit you as to where and when you can go places.

Anyway, welcome to the RV Dreams forums. Don't be afraid to ask questions because we like to say there are no "dumb" questions. The only dumb ones are those that don't get asked for an answer and thus one makes an expensive or time-consuming mistake or two....or three...

Terry

Torn_In_TN · RV-Dreams Community Member

Thank you. I guess to most my reluctance to share my identity is pointless but it makes me feel better right now. And I have gotten lots of great tips from forums and blogs. I spent all day on this site a few weeks ago. Decided to join this forum due to the friendliness it projected as I still had questions like I said.

Second Chance · RV-Dreams Family Member

Barbaraok wrote:
If you can't bring yourself to tell your family what you are going to do then you need to rethink your plans, because you really aren't sure this is what you want. Successful fulltimers are those who know what they want to do and aren't afraid to be open and honest with their families. Besides, do you really think your family is combing through RV forums to see if you are posting there?

X2. Barb is a wise person. I also just responded to the other thread you started and feel that you need to do a lot more research on what the lifestyle really means, discuss it with family, and then methodically work through your decision.

Rob

Julie and Ray · RV-Dreams Family Member

Torn-

We are in a very similar situation. We hope to start full-timing mid-2017 and haven't told ½ of the family yet. Although we are 99 44/100% sure this is what we are going to do, we are waiting until a little closer to the departure date to let the cat out of the bag. Luckily we have been mildly downsizing for a year or two, and we have really started hot and heavy in 2015. I think they are getting suspicious, but we just chalk it up to our continuing downsizing. Honestly, at this point, we are so far along in planning and prep, it's really not that big of a deal if they find out.

The thing we are most worried about is family feeling we are abandoning them. We still have other ties to the area, so we will be back at least twice a year to visit. Hopefully that will be enough to appease everyone. But, we feel that the bottom line is what's best for us. There are so many things to take into account before making a life move of this magnitude (and deciding what's "best"), including family, friends, organizations, activities, etc. This is still two years in the future and we are think of a new thing virtually daily. I'm sure the experienced folks on this forum have even more insight. Your method of a "Yes, let's do this" pile and a "No, don't do it" pile seems to be a great decision making tool to do what's best for YOU.

One thing we are encouraged by is the number of folks who post in the "Introduce Yourself" section of this forum. We had NO IDEA how popular this full-timing thing is - and continues to be. There is a new person here virtually every day!!! It's good to know that once you take the plunge, you are not alone. There is a huge community here to support you, both new and experienced.

Good luck and see you down the road,
Julie & Ray

ticat900 · RV-Dreams Family Member

If I ever was to full time ( I wont) I sure as hell could/would care less who knows and what their opinions are. I do what I want to do based on my own ideals and not the ideals and opinion of others. Full timing is not for everyone and certainly(in my opinion) not as glorious as many seem to think
I live in my ABDP 40 footer for 5.5 months and 6.5 in my regular house and acreage and its a good mix for my/our way of life

I live in Indio Ca for the winter and then one of the most beautifull and safest places on earth the Coldstream Valley BC

I do what I want and its no one elses business nor concern and nor should it be

-- Edited by ticat900 on Sunday 15th of November 2015 02:21:12 PM

-- Edited by ticat900 on Sunday 15th of November 2015 03:14:53 PM

Julie and Ray · RV-Dreams Family Member

I don't know about anyone else, but we certainly care about our family and their feelings toward this big move as it impacts them too. Sure, we are still going to do what we want to, but also want to handle communication with them in a respectful, understanding and sensitive manner.

jrzygrl64 · RV-Dreams Family Member

What's the big deal if anyone uses a "handle" or their name? Why be critical of someone's decisions when you don't even know them or their situation?

To the OP (original poster) - don't worry what ANYONE says - on this forum or otherwise - unless it is useful to you in some way. I have always had the "take what you need and leave the rest" attitude. That's not to say that sometimes the negative comments can't serve a purpose - but it's too early in your research to be impactful. There is nothing wrong with gathering information anonymously and not telling another living soul about it until you want to. Maybe your research will lead you to believe this isn't for you (although from MY personal perspective that's hard to imagine!) and there will be no need to ever tell anyone. Do what you feel is right for YOU!

So - have Q's? Ask away!

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

Welcome to the forum. When I started my research in 2011 (finally realized my dream in 2014), I found the folks here to be so wonderful in sharing their experiences and knowledge.

As to letting people know, I had that initial fear as well, but came to realize, it's MY life, not theirs. It doesn't matter what other people think; if it's the right thing for you, then go for it! Hopefully your research will reveal whether it IS the right thing for you.

Good luck!

marianne57 · RV-Dreams Family Member

We started considering going full-time in 2013 and in 2014 went to the spring rally and at that point decided for sure we wanted to head out in 2016. Our families initially gave us the deer in the headlight look like we were crazy for selling the house and going on the road, but after seeing the amount of research we had done and are still doing, and the answers to questions they all had, they realized we had done extensive homework on this, and it wasn't a knee jerk decision. This past year, both mine and his family could not have been more supportive in getting our house ready to list in February 2016, with yard sales, painting, etc. In fact they are all behind us now 100%. You need to research this and when you're sure of what you want to do, it really doesn't matter what they think....they will either get on board or they won't but to Cheryl's point...it's your decision, your life in the end. Having the knowledge of it however will put them more at ease for sure. Good luck and one last note....you need to attend at least 1 rally here. It will help make your decision easier.

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

I'm wondering if someone has already "offended" Torn in TN. I went to send them a private message and their profile states that their status is "Deleted." While they can still follow the forum, and I sincerely hope that they do, answering their questions might be futile, as they might not return.

Terry

jrzygrl64 · RV-Dreams Family Member

I'm not sure if it would be "offended" as much as they were reaching out for help and got shot down and possibly made to feel not welcome.

I hope that isn't the case, but it wouldn't surprise me. Some people need to keep their negative and harsh opinions to themselves. I am sure that is not how their comments were intended but I can understand how they came off that way.

Jo And Craig · RV-Dreams Family Member

I wholeheartedly agree with Kelly. Here it is in a nutshell, people:

DON'T JUDGE YOUR FELLOW MAN UNTIL YOU'VE WALKED IN THEIR SHOES AND YOU KNOW THEIR STORY! Nuff said.

Do what feels right in YOUR heart, Torn, and welcome to the forum! A LOT of us started our full-timing lives right here, so ask away!!!

Jim and Barb · RV-Dreams Family Member

X3 for Kelly's comments. We did not want our plans public until they were somewhat solidified, had a lot of our questions answered and ducks in a row. Even then we did not want anyone at our work to know until we ready to leave. It took us several years to plan everything and if we would have let our employers know it may have changed how they viewed us. And who knows, it may have never happened and we would have needed those jobs.

Camper Chronicles · RV-Dreams Family Member

Add me to the list of folks who didn't tell anyone until we were 100% certain. We needed to keep our jobs until the end and the exit strategies need carefully managed. We didn't tell our kids until we were absolutely sure because we knew it would be hard for them. Luckily they were 100% supportive. We didn't tell our parents until last because they are all very traditional, have never RV'ed, and we didn't think they would get it. In the end, handing it to them as a done deal worked out great.

Back to your original point about researching there is lots of great information on this site and I invite you to check out our last years journey in our blog. We are in our late 40's as well and it sounds like we may have some things in common!!

Best of luck to you,

Tracy Perkins
www.camperchronicles.com

-- Edited by Lee and Trace on Monday 23rd of November 2015 01:37:29 PM

-- Edited by Lee and Trace on Monday 23rd of November 2015 01:38:05 PM

Howard · Host

Many people don't want their plans or potential plans known for numerous reasons, and the judgmental attitude of a couple of people here is not what this forum is all about. I'll never understand the need to express negative opinions of other people's choices, especially when the poster never asked for any advice and was just introducing themselves.

So, it appears those few people have caused another member to leave. I certainly wish those that can't keep themselves from giving unsolicited negative advice would also move on.

So Torn In TN, I hope you come back and ask all the questions you want. The vast majority here will embrace and help as much as possible.

Dreamsopen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Amen Howard

Torn_But_Not_Ripped · RV-Dreams Community Member

First off, thank you to those that understood where I was coming from on wanting to keep as much personal information out of it as possible. My friends know me for me, and will tell you I could give a rats a$$ what others think of me, or the decisions I make.

I also want to thank those that had not so favorable remarks to make toward me, because of people like you, I am the strong woman I am today. I would like to ask though in the future, if you have negative things to say about me or my situation, wait until you actually know me personally before making such remarks. But if you have something negative to add to a conversation about the process of full timing and all it entails, please I want to hear it! :)

Now, more to the point.
I don't want my family to know yet because while I know they will support whatever we do, I do not want to get anyone all jacked up one way or the other until WE know what we are going to do, which is why I came to this site and actually joined it, to get some guidance from the "experts" :) . Of all the sites I've visited for information, this seemed to be the best place to frequent... Perhaps I should have checked the "introduce yourself" section first...

It really is irrelevant if my employer finds out at this point because I plan to continue working. However I am in a small town and if they find out, the rest of the family finds out and well, there goes the feces into the oscillating air mover...

Now, I did make my name similar to the one I started with, because yes, I did delete that original account. Sometimes it is better to walk away than to make yourself look like silly on the internet. Yeah, I guess definitions of silly vary, so for those that are still laughing at my expense...You are welcome.

My name IS Michelle, I go by Moo (short for MooChelle)

Thanks again for all comments.

Ran n Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Welcome, Moo!

I'm glad you rejoined because this is a great forum with lots of helpful people. When we went to the rally last spring, we were about 80% sure we were going to full time. We came away 100% sure and a few months later bought our truck!

So, ask away!

Jo

Bobc · RV-Dreams Family Member

welcome Michelle, this is really a great group and they can be very helpful , so please do not pay attention to the few that just don't understand that everybody is different and can not accept that some don't review thing as they do.
i for one love to hear different views as my way just may not be the best way.

good Luck, Come back and enjoy the ride. i for one got a lot of enjoyment from all the research and opinions i got from everybody here. Really is a great group overall

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Welcome back, Michelle.

I knew your name before because I saw it in your profile, but chose not to state it in the open forums. Non-forum members would never have been able to look in the profile to see your name.

Anyway, I'm glad you came back, because this forum, and Howard and Linda's full website, are good sources for information.

As for some of the others, I always try to keep in mind that some come here from other forums where a whole different way of communicating is done. They don't always realize that RV Dreams is different from those other forums because we do really try to be at least tactful if we recognize that someone needs a little "change of ideas." Sometimes being blunt is not necessarily a good thing.

This forum is a good one for gaining knowledge, getting advice, and receiving encouragement.

Terry

jrzygrl64 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Welcome back!

Like Trace, Bill and I are fairly new full-timers, our house closed Aug 29, 2014. I've kept a blog and there is a link in my signature if you would like to check it out.

We ALL asked a lot of Q's in the beginning - and sometimes still do!

Torn_But_Not_Ripped · RV-Dreams Community Member

Thanks again to everyone for the warm welcomes. I'm really enjoying looking around here and getting ideas and help.

Jcently · RV-Dreams Community Member

Hi there,

For me it was very simple when asked myself: Am I doing this for me or the rest of the people? That's it! Just do what you feel it is the best for the both of you and go for it. Who cares what anyone else have to say about it? I could not be happier with my decision of doing it..

Jcently

-- Edited by Jcently on Sunday 29th of November 2015 05:35:51 PM

In Laymans Terms · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hey Moo - I'm so glad you returned . . . and I LOVE the 'torn but not ripped' handle :) You'll notice I go by 'In Laymans Terms' for the same reason you mentioned above - my husband and I just aren't ready to drop our cloak of invisibility, to coin a phrase from Harry Potter! No, we don't think anyone is trolling RV sites looking for our name, but on the other hand, we found this forum, so is it so impossible to believe someone we know might do the same? We both have jobs, a home, family and friends . . . and while we are in the planning, preparing and thinking stages of the process, we don't believe any of that needs to be impacted by having our secret life exposed just yet. Living in a small rural community in Saskatchewan means that if one person found out - EVERYONE would know! And while we don't care what people think of us, we are not foolish enough to believe that 'being exposed' would not change our lives in some unexpected and possibly undesired ways. So to all those who feel that being cautious equates not being ready, I have to say, not true at all! Stay positive, keep seeking all the advice and information you need, and you will know if and when the lifestyle is right for you. It won't take long on this forum for you to recognize the supporters from the detractors - learn from the former and ignore the latter. There are far, far more of the former :)

JonRV · RV-Dreams Family Member

Welcome to the forum! Sounds like you have some exciting (top secret) plans :)

SuzieQ · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hubby & I plan to be FT in about 18 mths. We have to be "secretive" until a few mths after I sell my business. (Need to retain clients to get good value for the business.) The potential buyers (who don't know me) have been encouraging about our plans. Hubby has mentioned it to a couple of his relatives and they have been very positive. That said, it's still a ways off and he hasn't told his parents yet.