How do you deal with so much togetherness? - RV-Dreams Community Forum

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

How do you deal with so much togetherness?

Lynn and Ed · RV-Dreams Family Member

Think about how you use your space today (e.g., do one of you spend a lot of time inside where the other spends a lot of time outside). My DH likes to read on his Kindle as well as sometimes watches TV in bed. We also have different sleeping patterns. So for us the solution was easy – in our 40’ fifth-wheel, the bedroom will have a TV, there will be a door between the bedroom and main living area (i.e., kitchen, dining and living room). This will allow us to either be in the same room or separated rooms, when we are both awake, as well as one of us can easily be awake, when the other is sleeping.

In theory it works well, we have not purchased our RV yet … so time will tell, but we like each other a lot--so that should also help.

-- Edited by Lyn on Tuesday 22nd of October 2013 05:22:39 PM

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

judging from what I've read.........most use chase vehicles instead of towed's..........LOL !!!!!

me.....I just send her a postcard !!

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Well...we adore each other, but I have noticed that when we go away on trips, my DH needs time to himself. At home, he stays outside most of the time doing yard work on our 35 acres, but when we travel, there is no yard work!

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

have him bring a rake.........there is always something out there to do !!!!!

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Lucky Mike wrote:
have him bring a rake.........there is always something out there to do !!!!!

That is an idea!! He can workcamp doing yard work!!

Bill and Jodee · RV-Dreams Family Member

I read somewhere that headphones are a marriage's best friend when living in small quarters......

Technomadia · RV-Dreams Family Member

We function very well together being in tight quarters most of the time. When we need time apart, one of us will go run errands, go for a walk, etc. Some couples just won't be cut out for living in a super tiny space together tho. Nothing at all wrong with that, but it is a valid question to ask yourself to determine if RVing is for you or not.

- Cherie

2riker2go · RV-Dreams Family Member

We haven't really found it to be an issue. We enjoy spending time together and get along pretty well. Harry likes to wander around the campground and find people to chat with. :) He likes to sit outside more while I like to hang out inside. But for the most part we have a lot of the same interests, like walking, hiking and biking, and like doing these kinds of things together.

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Short periods of time are no trouble at all. I wonder about it long-term. I guess we will adjust and come up with a suitable routine, since we both want to do it.

-- Edited by two 4 the road on Wednesday 23rd of October 2013 09:30:32 AM

Jim01 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Linda and I have always enjoyed being together. Maybe that's why we were able enjoy full-timing for 12 1/2 years.

There are times when you'll be together for long periods of times so it's really important that you really like your partner. As stated in previous post, there are ways of being away from each other, but there definitely will be times when you're both inside for long periods of time.

This is something to seriously consider before you make the move to full-timing.

Good luck,

Jim

PIEERE · RV-Dreams Family Member

My way of thinking is that one could always take a short weekly mini vacation to see relatives or just a day or two excursion in the local area. My daughter just visited me for a week; family was getting on each others nerves after a few years of the same old routines. She went home this past Sunday and the family welcomed her with open arms; a lot of laundry..dishes..and housecleaning---I almost forgot the important part..hugs and kisses.

Some of the Time it's not the small spaces...she spent six days in my 20'X8' living space. It's enjoying the people your with and knowing when every one needs a break from each other! PIEERE

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

two 4 the road wrote:
Short periods of time are no trouble at all. I wonder about it long-term. I guess we will adjust and come up with a suitable routine, since we both want to do it.

-- Edited by two 4 the road on Wednesday 23rd of October 2013 09:30:32 AM

The above that I highlighted tells it all. If either of you were hesitant about the idea of RV'ing full-time, I would be very inclined for you to REALLY do more research as to whether you could live in the space you might be limited in.

Terry

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Terry...I had sent you a PM several days ago and never had a reply. I wonder if you got it?

Dog Folks · RV-Dreams Family Member

Terry and Jo wrote:
two 4 the road wrote:
Short periods of time are no trouble at all. I wonder about it long-term. I guess we will adjust and come up with a suitable routine, since we both want to do it.

-- Edited by two 4 the road on Wednesday 23rd of October 2013 09:30:32 AM

The above that I highlighted tells it all. If either of you were hesitant about the idea of RV'ing full-time, I would be very inclined for you to REALLY do more research as to whether you could live in the space you might be limited in.
Terry

Terry hit the nail right on the head. If there is any hesitation at all, go slow. Both partners really have to want to live this lifestyle for it to be most successful.

NWescapee · RV-Dreams Family Member

I agree with others, you need to test this. For us, we had both been working from home for more than 5 years, I was upstairs, he was downstairs, we traveled increasing amounts and in 2012 spent 25% of our year together in a travel trailer with one slide out. Our new home on wheels feels so much bigger compared to that!! biggrin We also get along really well and while I can't say we never get on each other's nerves, a walk, separation to run errands, escaping outside with my Kindle, or a multitude of other options gives us the space apart when needed.

We both work full time from the road so Dale's headphones are essential when he wants to listen to his music while I spend hours on the phone and he gets tired of hearing one way conversations. I will say there are times when having him over hear my conversations will cause him to crack a joke which invariably he does when I'm not muted, causing me to stifle a laugh. He knows enough about my role to really time his jokes.

He can sometimes work outside when the weather is nice, but now that he has a new work bench inside that is dedicated to his space, he's working outside less and less.

I've also worked in the bedroom, setting up a small folding table and "locking" myself in there with the cat while our cooling unit on our fridge was repaired. Don't want to do that everyday, but it's nice to have the option when the mobile tech shows up and I need to keep working.

Like so many other things with this life style, it's a matter of being flexible and learning to adapt. For us the rewards far outweigh the downsides. After all, it's October, we're in central CA enjoying sunshine and perfect temps after escaping the rain and gray of Seattle. Just one small benefit smile

GENECOP · RV-Dreams Family Member

We do really well together, like others have said occasionally we will make supermarket runs alone or a walk around the park....if your relationship is good you will find a way to make it work....Don't worry....

laurly · RV-Dreams Family Member

I definitely need my alone time, and George is the talker of the two of us

I can bury my head in a book, or on the computer, while George is watching TV, or out 'putzing' outside. One of the reasons we workamp as well..have separate things to do! We love doing things together as well..It all works fine

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Yeah...since my DH loves to putter outside, I think that workamping will work ideally for us.

Dog Folks · RV-Dreams Family Member

two 4 the road wrote:
We have had our own photography business for years, so we have been "together" all the time, but not really together. We live on 35 acres and my DH loves to work out in the yard and I work in the house on the computer. So, we only see each other at meal times and in the evenings. Even in the house, we are in different parts of the house doing our respective things. That has worked out well.
But, if we are traveling all the time, we would be together ALL the time... We would have only one room basically...(I count the kitchen and living as one space). How do you all deal with this?

Have you tried any trips together in an RV? I thought I would not like the smaller space, but instead love it! Everything is within reach, "cozy" and comforting. Try it out first before you make a big financial commitment, you may find out that it is a "deal breaker" or a "non issue."

-- Edited by two 4 the road on Tuesday 22nd of October 2013 06:25:31 PM

-- Edited by Dog Folks on Thursday 24th of October 2013 03:28:35 PM

Dog Folks · RV-Dreams Family Member

two 4 the road wrote:
Dog Folks...Wow! You are in a 27' TT (24' living space). I know that I could not do it in that space. Kudos to you both!!! We are thinking 35'+, so if you guys can do it in that space with 3 people, then we 2 should certainly be able to do it in our size!! Very encouraging!! Thanks!

As I said, cozy. It does have a rear slide which expends to 34 feet when open. I will share something to consider about a smaller unit. A number of years ago I had to have a toe amputated. (Smoking & Diabetes) The doctor was preparing me for the surgery and said I would need a wheel chair for the six weeks I couldn't walk. I said: "No I don't."

Thinking I was in a regular house he asked: "Just how far is it from your bed to the bathroom?" I could honestly respond that from the end of my bed to the potty was about 2 1/2 feet. I recovered fine and have had leg surgery since. I much prefer our little house when having surgery. There is always a hand hold within reach, and I can "bunny hop" for the few feet I need to move. .

-- Edited by Dog Folks on Thursday 24th of October 2013 05:01:25 PM

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Great suggestions on here. Love the headset idea. We both enjoy each other's company as well as our time alone. I do drive separately as I need a car that I can drive to run my errands and that we use it to explore new areas. Jesse spent a lot of time "organizing" our garage when we had a home and now he's often organizing the basement. Workamping was good for us also. Many afternoons I shut our bedroom door and nap or read by myself. We both enjoy going off with a pal for "guy or girl time" occasionally.

But I agree with Terry also to really think this thing thru and with Gene that you'll work it out. Just like in any relationship, you listen, respect, flex, and accept differences. Adds spice to life.

Sherry

SnowGypsy · RV-Dreams Family Member

You can truly love, adore, worship someone else and still not be able to be with them constantly so it has to do more with the dynamics of one's relationship. The dynamics in a tight space is different than in a larger one. I guess for my husband of 30+ years and myself, it is probably more like the relationship of our two dogs, you have this look and this understanding about "territory" so flashing a glance in one direction or another gets the message across that is time to make space. Seriously, I know a lot of people don't believe in astrology but if you do, our household is made up of 3 adult Leos. I once worked with a friend in a smaller office but we did different tasks. We both moved to another office where we had our desks pushed together. She was a really good friend and I would have done anything for her but I spent a lot of time sitting there beside her trying to decide whether I should jump from a cliff or push her off one. So you can truly care about someone else but.......... Rainy days are always the worse and a tight budget can make it difficult to spend a lot of time out in the public. It was always nice to have a clubhouse, really nice. Pets are yet another issue when it comes to "togetherness".

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

SnowGypsy....We have a cat. How does that bring up another issue? Can you tell me about that?

SnowGypsy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Only that they are always "right there" and often bored. When we traveled with the cat, he was actually much better than the dog(s) but he was a very undemanding cat, we called him "The UnCat".

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

LOL...that is funny!! Our cat is not demanding. He is a Kool cat!

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

Judging from all the " nose Art" on the windshield Nikki requires alot of attention!!!!

two 4 the road · RV-Dreams Family Member

Dog Folks...Wow! You are in a 27' TT (24' living space). I know that I could not do it in that space. Kudos to you both!!! We are thinking 35'+, so if you guys can do it in that space with 3 people, then we 2 should certainly be able to do it in our size!! Very encouraging!! Thanks!

rvingft · RV-Dreams Family Member

Terry and I work together and live together - and have since we met in 2004. There are days tho, where we want some "me time", we call it. That's usually when he will go to the laundromat or I can sit outside in nice weather reading my Kindle. If the weather does not permit, 1 of us is in the bedroom and 1 in the living room. We just let the other know - "please forget I am here for a couple hours". So far, it's worked fine going on almost 10 years.

Camper Chronicles · RV-Dreams Family Member

We picked an RV that has two separate areas ....severely limited our choices but that was a deal breaker for us. I think the most import thing is you honest with yourselves as a couple about what you need and make it happen.

NOWYO · RV-Dreams Community Member

I know a couple that were in a similar situation. He liked being outdoors, and she was a homebody. when they started living in their RV, she got him a metal detector. Now they boondock in places where he can pursue his new hobby. Maybe something like that will work for you.

JayKim-no regrets · RV-Dreams Family Member

We get asked the question "how do you stand being together in such a small space all the time?" Hubby's stock answer...."well, you have to like each other!"
For now, he is still working 8 hour days, but we are not worried, we have lived in our 40ft RV for almost 2 years now and we both love it. We cannot wait for the day he retires (again) and we can be 'mobile' full timers

It doesn't work for all couples and we know a few that got divorced within a year of starting, it's better to find that out earlier rather than when it's too late.

huggs Kim x

Neil and Connie · RV-Dreams Family Member

two 4 the road wrote:
We have had our own photography business for years, so we have been "together" all the time, but not really together. We live on 35 acres and my DH loves to work out in the yard and I work in the house on the computer. So, we only see each other at meal times and in the evenings. Even in the house, we are in different parts of the house doing our respective things. That has worked out well.
But, if we are traveling all the time, we would be together ALL the time... We would have only one room basically...(I count the kitchen and living as one space). How do you all deal with this?
-- Edited by two 4 the road on Tuesday 22nd of October 2013 06:25:31 PM

Earphones. I also go on bike rides…it's just one of those things where you learn that you don't have to fill every minute with conversation. Heck…sometimes we go all day and hardly talk…even when she isn't mad at me

Summersquash · RV-Dreams Family Member

I think it ill likely be hard at times. Kenny has been retired for veral years but I hve ben retired for just a few months. We have owned RV's before, but the longest we stayed in one was a month. It went ok most if the time. I figure it is worth a try, but we do have backup plans. Mainly money put away for another home if it doesn't work out. Then we can do RVing parttime. I defiately don't think anyone should give up there dreams out of "what ifs".

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have been married so long our DNA is the same. We are looking forward to spending more time together. For those moments where a little separate time occurs we can get that just by not being in the same room. I can never remember a time when I thought I needed time away from her.

-- Edited by MarkS on Saturday 22nd of March 2014 04:59:58 PM

jrzygrl64 · RV-Dreams Family Member

MarkS, you are so sweet! I feel the same way about Bill!

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jo and I have been married for just over 45 years. We've even found that living in the Mobile Suites for the last three years hasn't been an issue. We can even be in the same room and still have our "alone" time.....she with her reading or sewing and me with my computer. 5 to 6 feet apart, but still together but alone. Shoot, we even like to take walks together.

Terry

cherylbrv · RV-Dreams Family Member

I'm right up there with Mark, Bill & Kelly and Terry & Jo. Been married only 34 years, but I also feel like our DNA has melded, but when we need alone time, we can find space away (in another room or one of us can go outside), or (more likely) we can be sitting next to each other at a shared desk, doing our own things on our respective computers.