How did you prepare adult kids, siblings or others?:worry: - RV-Dreams Community Forum

Kevin and Janet · RV-Dreams Community Member

How did you prepare adult kids, siblings or others?:worry:

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

HHhhhhmmmmmm..........I just had to tell them!!!!...........The hardest are my children , one is 16 the other 14 we are very close they live with there mom.

Without getting into alot of Details mine is a Bucket list. They all know me and knew I wasnt the type that was just going to hang out and make it more difficult on them.........they have open invites where ,ever I am to just call, and I will send the tickets to get here, The kids are my priority and they call every vacation and tell me where they want me to be, and down they come.

My siblings understand they check on me almost daily.....they also only need to call and I will fly them in.

My mom just knows Im a free spirit....I dont want her to know my issues and we all try to keep it that way, when I get up there by her I pick her up and let her do the mini vacation thing with me, she loves the coach .....and you know "Shes mom"!!!!!!

We all have our reasons to start our journey......we are individuals each having our own dreams and expectations of what we need to do..........I never left any of them, they all travel with me in my journey.........better to know theres a smile on my face as I watch my sunsets and I get to fill the voids in my dreams and experience the part of nature few get to see.........than stay with them and wonder when and to see there sadness as they wait.

When I go home now We have so much to talk about , we have grown closer and its good to see them smiling rather than the sorrow they used to have.

Life is only as good as you allow yourself to experience it.......If it is your dream , then it is yours to live!!!!!!!!

Im 53 and life is the greatest thing to make sure you use all of it.......you only get 1 ride!!!

Kevin and Janet · RV-Dreams Community Member

Thanks, Mike I like your posts they are always postive. Your Awesome!

Technomadia · RV-Dreams Family Member

Tell them with excitement, but be prepared for the common concerns they'll likely have. Have well thought out answers for the logistical excuses they might bring up - how will you get your mail? Can you afford it? What if you don't like it? etc.

How they react beyond that will depend a lot on your current relationship with them. Are they nearby... will their concerns be over seeing you as often? Point out the positives, like they'll be able to meet up with you in awesome places, or that you'll still be able to integrate in lots of quality time when you pass back through.

Our families where a combination of excited for us and skeptical. They probably though it would be a year or two phase. But now after 6+ years, they've grown to love our lifestyle - as we have integrated in lots of quality time with them all, and we continue to thrive with it. We frequently catch them gloating about us to their friends :)

We have a chapter in our 'No Excuses: Go Nomadic' free blog series on this topic at:
http://www.technomadia.com/2012/02/family-aspects-of-a-nomadic-lifestyle

Enjoy!

- Cherie

Old Snipe · RV-Dreams Family Member

We took our kids (and parents, too) on some vacation trips before we went fulltime. They saw how much fun we had and we told them we were looking to fulltime when we retired. As we reached retirement, our kids helped us prepare the house for sale and encouraged us along.

We now manage to see the kids and grandkids more often than when we were working. We're able to help them when they have needs (moving, surgery, travels, projects, etc). Still do an occasional trip with them and they see we're doing fine.

Best Regards!

Dave Buck · RV-Dreams Family Member

We talked about doing to for so long that it wasn't if we were going it was when. Kids were all grown and on their own so when the time came we just told them the date that we planned to leave. No complaints, at least that we heard and didn't seem to be any worries.

RVKevi · RV-Dreams Family Member

We didn't really prepare them. We simply told them. Our older son is very practical and believes owning a home is important to long-term financial safety. So he isn't too thrilled. Also, they will miss Grandma's babysitting, as we have lived near them for their entire married life and now we won't. But they aren't actively against it. They just don't "cheer us on." Our younger son is, "Go for it!" And, "Finally, you are going to do something fun for you!" lol.

The thing is, if you let what others think control what you do, you'll never do anything. Family get used to the idea. And I wouldn't give up the chance to do this! So far we are static, but we're loving living in our Big Horn, and can't wait to get on the road.

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

In our case, it was no issue. Our family has camped for decades. So, when we made the choice, we just stated what we were doing and started doing it. While no one has complained or discouraged us, one of Jo's sisters has stated that she figures we will "stick to it for about two years."

When some others had asked nearly the same question, their question dealt with some family members that were thought to be dead set against the idea. It was suggested to them to just bring up in an occasional conversation that "wouldn't it be nice to take an RV and go out west (or east) and see the National Parks." I've never heard what that couple ended up doing, but it might be helpful to ease your family's attitude toward the idea. Who knows, once they consider it, some might even decide to do the same.

Terry

NWescapee · RV-Dreams Family Member

Because we were on the road for 25% of 2012, it was an easy discussion with most of our friends and family who tried to keep track of us and knew how stressed we were from racing home after art shows to deal with the yard/house/etc. For those that are closest to us, our decision has been received with a "well, that's not for me, but it sounds logical for you" kind of response.

We had very different reactions from our families, my side of the family? Both of my parents at different points in their life full timed, even though Mom was more "static" and didn't end up traveling much. They were both supportive, Dad thought it was great that we were doing this before retirement while we are still young and in good health.

Our daughter? She thinks it will be great, especially if she can ship the kids off with us each summer (not happening), maybe 1 at a time for a week at a time, but all summer? NOT! I love my grandwins, but we will still be working so it won't work for the whole summer.

Dale's parents? Don't understand why we would want to sell our house when we only have 5 years before it's paid for, they've come around a bit but I think they are still very worried and can't understand why we want to "give up what we've worked so hard for". However, when we mention that this means we can now park our RV in a park near them for 2-3 weeks at a time once or twice a year, they think that is far better than our once a year "fly in" visit that doesn't last long enough and is crammed with seeing all our relatives and a few old friends from when we lived close to them.

Our artist friends who know what it's like to travel are very supportive, some a bit envious. My co-workers for my more traditional job think I'm nuts, but then again, they usually don't know when I'm on the road anyway, which is now about 25% of the year.

One comment we keep hearing, is how well we must get along!! LOL, I keep explaining we both work from home now, so our "togetherness" factor really isn't going to increase that much over our current situation. Just a little closer together in the "home".

heyduke · RV-Dreams Family Member

invite them over for dinner and lay it on the line, Q and A will follow... They will think you are crazy and then you leave and they know you are crazy... welcome to the other side!

MarkS · RV-Dreams Family Member

We are adults. The family will live with our decision. After 23 years in the military our family has learned that the decisions I make are final. I live with them, you don't. I don't judge you, you don't judge me. However, my youngest (35) asked, where will we have Christmas? My answer. Where do you want it? He looked thoughtful and said, oh yeah, with a big smile.

Racerguy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Spot on Mark.

2riker2go · RV-Dreams Family Member

My sister and brother are supportive and excited for us, as is my stepson. My mother isn't too crazy about it and my stepdaughter isn't either (especially about our selling the house where she grew up). But we didn't do anything to "prepare" anyone; we just keep them in the loop and tell them the latest news. My opinion is - it's our life, and we're the ones living it. They don't ask us before they make decisions and I wouldn't want them to. I expect them to come around after we hit the road, but if they don't, that's their issue - not ours.

bigboomer · RV-Dreams Family Member

Most of our "close" friends (we use the term very loosely if at all for most people) knew we had been planning this move for about 12 years, taking small steps along the way. But when we listed the house and sold it and then sold off everything we could not take with us, lock, stock and barrel, they knew we were serious. Some thought we were nuts but most thought it was cool! The biggest push back we got was from my wife's sister who still thinks we lost our minds and cannot understand how we are going to survive!

I think that most of those who don't understand why we did what we did are the ones who either don't have plans for the future or are too scared to implement their plans. We are all creatures of habit and when we need to change it is never easy.

We do not have kids (correction, we have a cat and bird) so it is just us anyway which has made it a lot easier.

So far, so good...we LOVE it and are not looking back!

Good Luck in your adventures!

Les

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

They make skype for Family and friends
Cell phones for Emergencies
Souvenirs & postcards for the ones that miss you most

And a wrench to remove the mirrors so you never have to look back!!!!!!!!!!

Each sunrise is beautiful.....each journey Different......life is good.........Live each moment of it!!!!!!!!!!

2riker2go · RV-Dreams Family Member

Lucky Mike wrote:
They make skype for Family and friends
Cell phones for Emergencies
Souvenirs & postcards for the ones that miss you most

And a wrench to remove the mirrors so you never have to look back!!!!!!!!!!

Each sunrise is beautiful.....each journey Different......life is good.........Live each moment of it!!!!!!!!!!

Love it, Lucky Mike!!

bigboomer · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jessica and Harry,

I noticed in your blog that you are in upstate NY and planning on staying at Brookside. We stayed there last year dring the Christmas holidays and found it to be a real nice place. Certainly easy access to Wyndam and Hunter! Did they add winter water to the sites? I do not recall them having water hook-ups during the winter. The cabins were open with water though.

We are in the Poconos right now and may be at Black Bear Campground next year in Florida, NY. Another one we were thinking of is Rip Van Winkle in Saugerties but only between May and Oct.

Regards,

Les

2riker2go · RV-Dreams Family Member

bigboomer wrote:
Jessica and Harry,
I noticed in your blog that you are in upstate NY and planning on staying at Brookside. We stayed there last year dring the Christmas holidays and found it to be a real nice place. Certainly easy access to Wyndam and Hunter! Did they add winter water to the sites? I do not recall them having water hook-ups during the winter. The cabins were open with water though.
We are in the Poconos right now and may be at Black Bear Campground next year in Florida, NY. Another one we were thinking of is Rip Van Winkle in Saugerties but only between May and Oct.
Regards,
Les

Hi Les,

Yes, Brookside has 12 sites with a water connection year round. We bought a heated hose and the owner puts heat tape around the exposed water pipe. We are moving there the 12th of Dec. and can't wait!

We stayed at Black Bear in Florida in October on our way to Jersey - we liked the sites ok, but did NOT like the hill we had to go up to get TO the sites.

Trabuco · RV-Dreams Family Member

Our kids, family, friends and coworkers were all for it. I don't thnk we heard one negative comment. Co workers are anxiously waiting for us to put our blog online. We get almost daily texts from coworkers we were both close too asking how we're doing where we're at etc. I think alot of folks are envious and a little nervous about doing something like this.

The kids are planning to fly and meet us when we get into areas that they want to explore. It's been good for us to this point.

bigboomer · RV-Dreams Family Member

2riker2go wrote:
bigboomer wrote:
Jessica and Harry,
I noticed in your blog that you are in upstate NY and planning on staying at Brookside. We stayed there last year dring the Christmas holidays and found it to be a real nice place. Certainly easy access to Wyndam and Hunter! Did they add winter water to the sites? I do not recall them having water hook-ups during the winter. The cabins were open with water though.
We are in the Poconos right now and may be at Black Bear Campground next year in Florida, NY. Another one we were thinking of is Rip Van Winkle in Saugerties but only between May and Oct.
Regards,
Les

Hi Les,
Yes, Brookside has 12 sites with a water connection year round. We bought a heated hose and the owner puts heat tape around the exposed water pipe. We are moving there the 12th of Dec. and can't wait!
We stayed at Black Bear in Florida in October on our way to Jersey - we liked the sites ok, but did NOT like the hill we had to go up to get TO the sites.

Excellent! Perfect time of year to go there....quite and perfect area for the holidays with all the winter activities up there! Continued good luck with the house sale and final move!

BruceandTrisha · RV-Dreams Family Member

We initially broke the family in to our "crazy" lifestyle when we moved to a tent one summer - the precursor to fulltime RV living. We downsized majorly - set up our home on the banks of the Missouri River and experienced the best summer of our lives. Some family members thought we must be dealing drugs . . . thought that Bruce was forcing me to do this. Others just shrugged their shoulders and shook their heads as they chalked another one up to "Bruce and Trisha's weird ideas." Now that we have our home on wheels, they are relieved. :)

It all comes down to creating the life that YOU want, not the life which others think you should have -or be -or do. Your zest, your happiness, your exuberance will be contagious! You don't need anyone's permission to live life to the fullest - you just need to give YOURSELF the permission to live the life of your dreams.

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

HHHHHHmmmmmm...........guess I didnt plan this one out to well!!!.........my son (16) will be joining me on the road in january. homelife wasnt doing him so well (must have a little of me in him) so mom sent him to his Dad.........Its a blessing I have just spent a year in the hospital and was really worried how I was going to handle my new limitations in life and what could happen being on the road alone. And he needs a Dad and a little guidence at this point in life.

He is a good kid he is homeschooling and excelling at what he wants in life......but he is 16 and we have all been there.........bought myself a new pair of workboots gonna put them in his chair and tell him to sit down , he might as well get the suttle feeling of wear they might end up if he ever thinks he is going to make the mistakes I made in life at his age!!!!!!

I figure the time on the road will give him some perspective on whats out here and time to himself to think about what life is......I do alot of boondocking , so its gonna be him and nature.....what a better Teaching in life!!!!

Like Ive said before......life takes many turns when you least expect it!!!

(Wait till Nikki Finds out she has to share here space!!)

-- Edited by Lucky Mike on Friday 28th of December 2012 02:05:11 PM

-- Edited by Lucky Mike on Friday 28th of December 2012 02:08:51 PM

bigboomer · RV-Dreams Family Member

Jessica and Harry,

We have seen on your blog that you are all settled in at Brookside. Congrats on the final sale of the house, glad all went well. Now, does it not feel like a giant mountain lifted off your shoulders? Thankfully this time we did not get as much snow as you guys on Wednesday but we are expecting more Saturday. We are staying at Pocono Vacation Park in Stroudsburg, PA for the winter. In the spring Sue has taken a workamper job at Blackbear Campground so we will relocate there which will help my commute (cutting it down to about 45 minutes to the office). We will then probably stay there for the winter of 2013.

Wishing you continued success and safe travels in 2013!

Les and Sue

Dog Folks · RV-Dreams Family Member

Most of the family thought we were nuts or were not really going to do this, so there was not much discussion. Sold evedything and left.

After 6 years and starting a blog so that they could follow along, with lots of pictures, they have "mellowed." Some now say that they envy our lifestyle.

WestWardHo · RV-Dreams Family Member

We have friends who are full timers (not members of this forum) and they have been on the road for 8 years. Her sister still tells people that our friend is homeless! They make a point to visit this sister every year but she doesn't change. Our friends have a wonderful, fun & friend filled life. Just reminds me that "what you think of me is none of my business".

Our kids, his & hers, sound accepting but I suspect one or two of them are concerned about depreciating assets & what happens when we can't travel anymore. We've thought it thru and we'll decide when the time comes. Our grand children are all excited. " when are you coming to see us?"

We both raised our kids to be independent and our siblings are everywhere as well. I'm not sure we'll blog as I don't know if we have anything to say but we sure enjoy reading others. FaceTime on all our iPads work for us.

Best wishes for wisdom and happy travels.

mjlitz · RV-Dreams Family Member

Things all happen for a reason. What a great time for the both of you to build memories together. Better than that - he wants to be with you!! Enjoy your special time with him Mike, which I am sure you will

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

He is a good kid!!!!.....................and I need him as much as he needs me right now , so everything does happen for a reason!!

Ckerr · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hey Mike... Sounds like you need to add someone else to your signature line! Enjoy the time together. He'll be on his own before you know it.

Rvlife23 · RV-Dreams Community Member

I've been preparing the boys 11 and 14,wife 40,for 3 months since buying my RV. Im 62 next month.Wife is a foreigner,who did a great job for 15 years.Now she's saving for her retirement when in 10 years she'll return to her country and her closely knit family who I helped by buying land and building 2 homes for them.She became more Americanized than myself.She grew up in the mts of Nepal,no amenities in her mud house,no electric no hot water,just a hose runnin through her land.I loved it there but politically its not cool.She thinks Im crazy but that's nothing new to me.I know what I love.The kids have become Internet junkies.I used to threaten the older one by taking his smart phone,but now that would be like a lobotomy,so ...they have friends,,they like their life...they've been hearing me say"Get an RV and head out west" for 10 years.I'm always there if they need to talk on the phone.
Due to some health concerns I can't put this off anymore.Like changing something negative into something positive.I traveled 25 years before marrying,everywhere,mostly in remote areas in the 3rd world, and rving out west..Guess I put that life on hold to try something normal.
I love my family,but they haven't any desire to be adventurous.Accept..move on..Im not running away,Im just doing what I love most.Its not for everyone.If you truly love someone you should want them to love their life.I gave it all I had and now its time to regenerate my spirit.

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

Sometimes the choices we make in life are not easy , you weigh it out and hope it has no negative effects......then you commit yourself to do the right thing and go for it.

good luck Dean ..........some night , some campfire , we'll talk about it!!

Rvlife23 · RV-Dreams Community Member

Hey Lucky Mike ,

Hope its working out with your kid.One more week and Im out of here.Ive had so many things delay my departure.My youngest, 11 yr old wants to join me for the summer.It scares me a little because he has no experience outside of a few vacations in Florida,(condo no rv).Hes the only one who is curious about living a different lifestyle.It would be helpful if you shared some of the ups and downs living with your kid.Ill have 2 months on the road before he joins me.At the moment I can't tell you how my home on wheels has saved me,just by hanging out in it as it sits in storage in a quiet spot in the suburbs of Boston.For the first time in 18 years I have a place I can call my own.Rght now giving that up seems impossible.Im hoping Im able to share my time.I love my sons but they have no idea of the adventure I know,no matter how much I tell them.Hope to hear from you.

TMichelle · RV-Dreams Community Member

Rvlife23 wrote:
Hey Lucky Mike ,
Hope its working out with your kid.One more week and Im out of here.Ive had so many things delay my departure.My youngest, 11 yr old wants to join me for the summer.It scares me a little because he has no experience outside of a few vacations in Florida,(condo no rv).Hes the only one who is curious about living a different lifestyle.It would be helpful if you shared some of the ups and downs living with your kid.Ill have 2 months on the road before he joins me.At the moment I can't tell you how my home on wheels has saved me,just by hanging out in it as it sits in storage in a quiet spot in the suburbs of Boston.For the first time in 18 years I have a place I can call my own.Rght now giving that up seems impossible.Im hoping Im able to share my time.I love my sons but they have no idea of the adventure I know,no matter how much I tell them.Hope to hear from you.

Your sons really need you with them everyday to help them become men. I know it is a sacrifice.

Lucky Mike · RV-Dreams Family Member

Dean....the most important thing my father ever did was teach me , through his experiences he always warned me ahead of life's lessons making sure that I understood what would happen on the path I had chosen.

He was'nt around much but the time we spent together and the talks we had made me a better man....

My son is raised the same way....I will not pick his path good or bad , all I can do is tell him what awaits him on his travels and hope he picks whats best.

He spent a little time with me this winter , we talked and school is the most important thing to his success and he made his choice to tuff it out and meet his goal....

he will join me again this summer for vacation......The kids are never far away , a train or plane can get them to the RV fast, or just picking them up as you go north durring the summer for a few weeks or south durring the fall will keep the bond....and like you said their only a phone call or Skype on the computer away!!!!!

Im headed to Palmer Ma. this weekend (Sun.) for the Central Flea Market on Rt. 20 I'll be there set up if your in the area Cant miss me Im the motorhome Selling wood signs!!

-- Edited by Lucky Mike on Tuesday 2nd of April 2013 07:36:33 PM

Rvlife23 · RV-Dreams Community Member

If the boys are not going in the right direction by now,its too late.Mostly I have always been there for them,whenever I wasn't working.Aside from too much electronics(and that may be my judgement call since most kids are into it),my boys are good.They do ok in school,have friends, are healthy,non violent and always communicate their feelings to me.They understand about who Iam and are glad that Im living out my dreams.They can always call me on the phone.For the last 3 years since arthritis has taken over,Im not able to do do a lot of things fathers who are 20 years younger can do with their kids.Im 62.At this stage my words ,when needed,is the best thing I can give them.It will be interesting once I leave,though they always know Iam there for them.If they feel attracted to the life Im about to live,my door is always open.

JayKim-no regrets · RV-Dreams Family Member

Nobody can live their kids life for them, all you can do is give them a good basic grounding. While they are maturing into adulthood, you can steer them in the right directions and tell them of the mistakes you may have made growing up, that doesn't mean that they will not make those same mistakes too. You have to love them enough to let them make their own mistakes, it's the only way they can learn life's lessons.

It's not easy being a parent, but if you are lucky enough to end up with responsible adults that make you proud (most of the time) then you should be happy and secure enough to know that they can/will survive on their own paths, while you follow your own too.

Huggs Kim x

TMichelle · RV-Dreams Community Member

Dean, you sound like a deep thinker who has spent a lot of time contemplating this move. I just don't want you to fool yourself, having a father walk out on the family is traumatic for children. I am 38 and my parents' generation had rampant divorce (they are about your age). I know sometimes divorce can't be helped as we can't force someone to stay who doesn't want to. Growing up the adults tried to make us feel "good" about divorce as all the situation comedies would show the child upset about the parents divorce and once the parents explained they still loved the children, all was well. I think it was the writers way of making themselves feel okay about their own personal decisions. My generation continually has to deal with the huge repercussions of dads leaving the family and many studies today have finally picked up on it as well. I of course don't know your situation or what you have had to deal with everyday or the hardship you may endure, but just don't lie to yourself. No eleven year old boy is old enough to make a man's decisions (or even sixteen year old for that matter). A phone call is not the same as being there everyday to talk about things the eleven year old doesn't want to talk about but needs to.

Perhaps you can bribe your boys into going with you or asking them to try it out with you for 6 months to see if they like it. If after begging them to come with you and if they still say no, at least they won't ever think of it as you leaving the family but them choosing to stay with their mom. It is not ideal, but it is better than walking out.

Also, please know that I do not judge you for your thinking at all. I have enough faults and sins that I don't want to be judged on myself.

-- Edited by TMichelle on Thursday 4th of April 2013 12:13:43 AM

Rvlife23 · RV-Dreams Community Member

Michelle,
Without making this an argument,I will try to give you a little insight concerning my situation.It appears you have your reasons for your opinion,and I would agree with you on some points.Like men or women rationalizing the decisions they make,that hurt their children.Im not one of those.
Iam extremely close to my sons.I talk WITH them not down to them.Iam a devoted father.I married at 44,my wife was 22.It took place in her country,where it is not unusual to marry older men. They have a practical approach to marriage.You work out a life together.Its a mutually agreed upon arranged marriage,like the way it used to be with matchmakers here.Love comes after time and trust.I married her to have a family,she married me to make a better life for her parents and siblings.She grew up in a mud house,no electric,no hot water.They worked together on their little farm.Nice people.I bought them 3 small pieces of land and built them 2 homes in the nicest town, with all the basic modern conveniences that we take for granted.Her siblings are happily married now with kids.I fulfilled my side of the marriage.
As I said Iam a devoted father and have had a totally monogamous relationship with my wife.The problem is that my wife's culture is very rich and family ties very strong.I have neither.My world before her was a life of art,travel and writing,mostly solo.After many relationships before marriage I never felt I could trust any of those women to sign a contract.
Im not looking for a divorce, because I can see now being with someone requires a person who is more likely to conform,living a life not in love,but quietly tolerating what's expected of them.I need intensity,the moment,taking chances,living an adventure,because that's what life is all about.My children would be disappointed in me if I did anything but living out my dreams.All my wife wants is to save for her retirement,I'll be too old by then.Like I said,if the kids aren't on the right path now,forget it.My door is open,they can always call.These kids have their own lives now,friends ,electronics,school and always their father.I had a father who never left home,but I rarely saw him and never really knew him.

JayKim-no regrets · RV-Dreams Family Member

Hi Dean,
Nobody has the right to question your decisions apart from those closest to you. Sounds to me like you have a mutually agreed upon way of life with your wife, i'm sure your kids love and respect you and know that you are going to be there for them when they need you, as long as everybody is happy with your decisions that is all that matters.

Good luck and be happy!