Getting along with your companion - RV-Dreams Community Forum

rjenkins · RV-Dreams Family Member

Getting along with your companion

Happytrails · RV-Dreams Family Member

I think you have to full-time with your best friend.......be it marriage partner or just partner.
Mike and I have not had any problems in this area at all. We enjoy each other's company and we enjoy the same types of things. You just have to be good friends!! In our case, there is no creative editing going on. It is as it reads. Our relationship is no different full-timing than it was in our former life...if anything it is better. We don't have the stresses that we had in the old life and the lifestyle is so freeing. We both feel content.

This is a great question to bring up because it is so important. You are together in a small area and you must get along and be friends or I would think you will become miserable.

Luvglass · RV-Dreams Family Member

It's exactly as Happytrails says, you better be content with each other and preferably be best friends.

The small space and the 24/7/365, will exacerbate any relationship problems you may have been hiding with separate careers, hobbies and the 3500 square foot house.

But if you are best friends, it's the best lifestyle imaginable.

pierreandcolleen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Prior to going on the road I warned my husband that I wasn't sure how I would do because as an introvert I do require time to myself (I like to refer to it as Colleen-time). This has nothing to do with not wanting to be around my husband or anyone else, but it is just the way I am. We developed a game plan that if I needed time to myself that either I would go for a walk or he would go play golf (you get the idea). Anyway, in the 15 months that we were on the road I found that I did not need Colleen-time as much as I thought I would. We just really enjoyed this adventure together and it is nice having your best friend there with you to enjoy the experience.

-Colleen

tumwatergal · RV-Dreams Family Member

All the previous answers to your question are very good. The only thing I have to add is that having similar goals on what you expect for living in an RV is important too. Besides being true "friends" having some activities in common is a good thing. Of course, you may still have separate activities or hobbies, but doing things together sometimes is good, too. If you both like to play golf, do it together. If only ones likes to....then there is some time away from each other that can be beneficial. If you both like to do sightseeing then do that together. And so on. You don't have to be joined at the hip...but enjoying each other's company and spending good time together is important for harmonious existing in small spaces.

pierreandcolleen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Very true Margie! Also the type of camping you want to do should be taken into consideration. For example, my husband and I like to boondock for a few days at a time. We love the peacefulness of many of the places where we can do this. However, there are many people that do not want to be without hookups and want access to the tv, a/c, micro, etc.... If one of you wants to do a little boondocking and the other has no interest you need to discuss this and possibly arrive at a compromise because it won't be fun for either of you if the trip is not what you envisioned. Of course the beauty of fulltiming is that you can change your plans and vision whenever you want smile

-Colleen

sirwinston21 · RV-Dreams Family Member

Yea, what Luvglass said

RodnReal · RV-Dreams Family Member

I agree with all that has been said above. Most important of all are the 2 little words.........

"Yes Dear" :)

--Rod

jagco · RV-Dreams Family Member

We are not full-timers yet, but Georgia and I find that our camping goes just like the rest of our marriage. We are always polite to each other. Many people are sometimes nicer to strangers than to their own family. One really has to treat others better than they are treated. Not so much a competition, but a mutual understanding. Did that make any sense?

Jeff

RonandJacki · RV-Dreams Family Member

Not being an RVer in any way, shape or form except in our dreams, so far, Jacki and I have been on enough vacations on cruise ships and to all-inclusive resorts with a specific activity, that we find that our attitudes are much better there than at home. Without the threat of any stress of work or home demands, we do quite well. It's really amazing how much stress our daily lives tend to produce. I just can't wait to get away from this daily grind and take over total control of life as we know it today.

TheMeanderingMillers · RV-Dreams Community Member

If you can realize that you will still have problems on the road on occasion, you just trade old problems for new problems, treat each other with respect, and find humor in the situation, then any bad day in the full time lifestyle still beats any good day of the daily grind lifestyle.

And I can totally relate with Margie and Colleen about agreeing on the type of camping. We thought we were on the same page until we hit the road full time. We've worked through it and now we compromise a bit and we're both happy. I like to travel short distances and spend a day or two in one place, DH likes to travel long distances and stay on the move. We now do some of both and love our lifestyle!

Delaine and Lindy · RV-Dreams Family Member

Its never been a issue for Delaine and me. We Love togetherness, we actually downsized to a Queen Size bed in our Mobile Suites, we didn't need a king size bed just wasted space. Life is good, never waste a minute. GBY.....

Terry and Jo · RV-Dreams Family Member

Well, I can't really speak to the issue of being in less than 400 square feet with Jo since we aren't full-timing yet. However, since we have been working on this relationship thing for nearly 41 years, I'm not too worried about there being any problems that we can't work out.

In fact, from one perspective, it was Jo that suggested the idea. We were leaving work one day (during the OKC RV show) when she suggested we go by the show and look at RV's. I figured she was maybe interested in something just a bit larger than our 26 foot fifth wheel. When she started looking at even bigger, I had to ask her what was she thinking about.

So, if we have any problems with this whole full-timing thing, I can blame it on her.

Right????

Maybe not.

Terry

bubbadan · RV-Dreams Family Member

Terry; didn't yo mean thank her even if it goes wrong it is still the right thing to do (follow a dream).

bubbadan · RV-Dreams Family Member

As Susie said if you have problems at home they are more than magnified on the road. Y'all have no clue how lucky y'all are to have someone that shares your interest and passion of a dream you have to travel and do the RV thing.
I have a post titled going for it, I have decided to make a move and buy a 5er larger enough for me and a couple of Grand-kids at a time and start making weekend trips to state parks and other places. It has got me so excited I feel like a 6 year old with a new pair of underwear on the first day of school.

Janeen · RV-Dreams Family Member

Okay, here we go. This is an area where we did have problems in the beginning. For those of you who didn't read our blog we jumped into this even faster than Howard and Linda. One month we had a dream and the very next month we'd bought a rig and a truck. Sold our cars and put the house up for sale. Over the next six weeks we sold everything we owned that we weren't taking with us.

That kept us busy and excited anticipating the dream of full-timing. During that time I found RV Dreams. The mistakes started becoming apparent right away. Too small of a rig, many problems with the used truck, money going out for repairs, LOT's of money.

This all led to second guessing and high anxiety. Reading RV Dreams helped us see that this was normal. We were taking it out on each other almost on a daily basis until we just talked it out. Expressing fears, worries and anxiety before doing this would have been helpful. However, until we started living in the rig we had no idea what problems we would encounter.

So, communication is the key. At least it was for us! As soon as a problem arises, for instance; when hubby decides to work on the hot water heater, he TELLS me first so my shower doesn't turn to freezing! I know that sounds funny but it ain't so funny when you're covered with soap and goose bumps! If one person wants peace and quiet and the other really wants to listen to music a good compromise is an iPod. Just little things like that which left unspoken can undermine your resolve of fulltiming and at the very worst allow resentment into your relationship.

Luckily we noticed very quickly that we have to let each other know what we want to do today. Such a little thing, but for us it keeps expectations realistic. Let's say I wake up and want to go to the lake. Larry will do just about anything I suggest but he may have wanted to go look at RV's. If he mentions it then we can figure out a way to do both. Really most things are so easily resolved if you only speak up. Nicely. Compromise and communication are key.

Luvglass · RV-Dreams Family Member

Reading your post Janeen, I'm struck with the thought that none of the issues you're mentioning have anything to do with life in an RV particularly.

All of those issues could have come up if you were still in your sticks and bricks. Communication is the key to happiness, or at least contentment, no matter where you are.

DagoRanch · RV-Dreams Family Member

That's absolutely right, but a sticks -n- bricks life can sometimes hide issues as well.

When you're workin full-time and a half and just going through the motions of getting on with the day to go home and flop on the couch, watch some mindless crap on the T.V. go to bed and do it all over again... over and over and over.... It's easy to get lost in yourself and basically forget about your spouse. Especially if your spouse is doing the same thing, it's like you're living two separate lives, more like roommates than spouses.

My first marriage was like that, unfortunately we never got to resolve anything...

BUT

Fortunately I'm with someone now who understands and expects great communication. It's world of difference for sure!