How are you doing Christmas this year? We are looking at budgetting right now, and I am dreading this. We can afford to do what we have always done - as much as we could afford it last year and the year before. So we will end up broke for 3 months, yet again. I just don't know where to cut down. The gift budget is okay. We have a 15 yo son at home, so will do our usual impersonation of an electronics store for him. In reality, he doesn't ask for or get many toys throughout the year, so we buy a decent stash for him on Christmas and birthdays (we have a budget that tends to be the same every year.) Nieces and nephews get Walmart gift cards. That is actually easy b/c my Dad sends me a Walmart card, then I go to Walmart and buy all the kids' cards with it. (1 adult child giftcard = 7 niece and nephew cards by my math My poor father - I would be fine w/ a phone call but my brother always makes special requests for expensive presents, then my Dad feels he has to make mine equal, etc. I wonder if I could get away with $5 Starbucks cards when I start full-timing? The kicker is the trip budget (to the DW's family), which maybe we will save some on after we are full-timing. A week in Louisiana (a week boarding 3 dogs.) Okay, must change my attitude. In reality the trip costs about what the presents do, I just don't enjoy the trip so I resent spending the $ on it. And no, it is not negotiable, although I have been offered the chance to stay by myself at home for Christmas, if I want. Pinon
Racerguy said
01:38 PM Sep 10, 2010
Wow either you are very generous or we are really tightwads.We get what we want during the year so we just get each other small gifts for Christmas.Years ago when the family started expanding our 6 kids got a small gift,the grandkids got a couple small gifts and beyond that any body else was lucky to get a Christmas card. I see no need to buy gifts for brother's ,sisters or nieces and nephews. Christmas is far too commercial in my books.
-- Edited by Racerguy on Friday 10th of September 2010 01:39:33 PM
Readytogo said
03:44 PM Sep 10, 2010
We quit getting gifts for sisters, bothers nieces and nephews years ago, Our gift giving is to our son and parents only. We quit spending so much during Christmas. Didn't like all of the bills coming in after the holidays were over.
Dave Buck said
06:56 PM Sep 10, 2010
My four sons, their wives, and my DW exchange names every Christmas so for that part of the family we only buy one nice gift. The part that is expensive is my DW insists on buy nice gifts for each of our 11 grandchildren. I keep telling her that when we go FT that will have to be cut back. We'll have to see how that goes.
aussiesteve said
07:33 PM Sep 10, 2010
Isn't our lifestyle about disconnecting with this stuff, and the related guilt that comes with not giving expensive (read debt) gifts to others. I was always taught it was the thought that counts not the value, and I know from personal experience that I did not have to think very hard about a gift card that I gave as a present. Yet a cheaper present such as a nice wash cloth, T towel, scented candle or picture frame took me a long time to think of which one best suited the receiver's personality. Even if they put them away until adulthood when starting their own family these are the real gifts we use to give, remember. As for travelling to spend time with family that spends most of the Christmas celebration talking about each other behind their backs I took a stand last year and refused to go. When asked why, I gave the above reason. To my surprise the reply was 'Oh, that's just what family's do!'. Well it may be but I don't want to be part of that so I'm not going again this year.
Ooo Roo aussiesteve
-- Edited by aussiesteve on Friday 10th of September 2010 07:34:39 PM
Paul and Jo said
08:55 PM Sep 10, 2010
aussiesteve wrote:Isn't our lifestyle about disconnecting with this stuff, and the related guilt that comes with not giving expensive (read debt) gifts to others. I was always taught it was the thought that counts not the value, and I know from personal experience that I did not have to think very hard about a gift card that I gave as a present. Yet a cheaper present such as a nice wash cloth, T towel, scented candle or picture frame took me a long time to think of which one best suited the receiver's personality. Even if they put them away until adulthood when starting their own family these are the real gifts we use to give, remember. As for travelling to spend time with family that spends most of the Christmas celebration talking about each other behind their backs I took a stand last year and refused to go. When asked why, I gave the above reason. To my surprise the reply was 'Oh, that's just what family's do!'. Well it may be but I don't want to be part of that so I'm not going again this year.
I am SO with you Steve! i.e. I agree.
rjenkins said
09:14 PM Sep 10, 2010
i agree with racerguy and aussiesteve, the Christmas holidays is for celebrating the birth of Christ, not a trip to walmart. while we do give gifts we make sure they are reasonable and we dont give to the entire family tree. we never ever put anything on credit during the holidays.
Roz said
04:56 AM Sep 11, 2010
It was difficult and misunderstood three years ago when we announced with a Christmas Card insert sent following a Thanksgiving dinner. Simply stated:
"Conversations at Thanksgiving made us so aware that we all are so blessed. As a result, we have decided to forego Christmas gifts and donate our annual gift budget to the Salvation Army to provide essentials for those who are so less fortunate as we. Please donate somewhere what you would have spent on gifts for us."
This was received with estremely varied thoughts, but we know we made a difference. We also received the same number of thank you notes - ??? We know we are doing what we feel is right.
rjenkins said
07:04 AM Sep 11, 2010
Excellent Roz, that's one of the true meanings of Christmas, helping those less fortunate...
Baldy said
07:48 AM Sep 11, 2010
I think you just said it all. Amen
janni said
07:54 AM Sep 11, 2010
I think it is great that everyone celebrates in their own way. As long as this Mom and Gramma is around there will be gifts for the kids.
injunear said
02:28 PM Sep 11, 2010
Pinon We have pared our list down to just us, kids and grandkids. For years we bought for 30 to 40 relatives and send goodie packages to about 15 others. After several years of no one thanking or acknowledging they received a package, those stopped being sent. Now we donate that time and money to the family homeless center and church, with our grandkids.
Wayne
janieD said
08:39 PM Sep 11, 2010
This year the only gifts are the airline tickets to bring our two sons to us. We will still send gifts to two little ones born this last year but let the others know we now live in no gift zone and that we felt it was time to give only to the little ones as us older folks know that it is the love we have for one another that is the true gift. So far everyone has taken that news very well.
Ckerr said
10:06 PM Sep 11, 2010
We've been trimming the list. Last year we only did gifts for Johnny's kids and grandkids, our moms, and one of my brothers and his family. The other brothers have fallen off the list due to lack of either acknowledgement or reciprocation. I used to organize the family adult gift exchange but last year when I asked if they wanted to continue I didn't get any response, so I decided not to bother. No one seemed to notice. I had also suggested that the neices and nephews join the adult gift exchange once they either turned 18 or graduated from college. Maybe that was what did it...
Working a bit on the "blended" family thing. We've really paired back on the grandkids gifts. Afterall, if you are getting each of them $200 gifts when they are 8 and 10 what do you get them when they are 16 and 18?!? Jofhnny's come around to that way of thinking. So now we try to think of something special but not necessarily on their "gift list." Oh, he's also sworn off gifts of video games!
Like AussieSteve said, we're really trying to focus on the thought of the gift. I personally HATE gift cards. Unless it's to someplace unique based on the person. For instance, thinking about getting my brother, the truck driver, a gift card to audible.com since he enjoys audio books. I'd rather find a great deal on something that I think the person will appreciate.
We've already decided to get each other the wii and wii fit for Christmas. We thought it would be a good addition to the full timing stash.
Colorado_Kid said
11:44 PM Sep 11, 2010
When I was a teenager my grandmother decided that because of the size of the family that each member would just buy one gift for a certain family member decided by drawing names out of a hat. The name I drew was a second cousin that I had never met or had even heard of. Right before Christmas we went to my grandmother's house with our gifts and it just so happened the second cousin whose name I drew was there and after that one meeting I never saw her again.
I think people go crazy at Christmas trying to buy gifts for every family member like its a contest to see who is the best family member. My brother and I give one another the best gift every Christmas and thats we have agreed not to buy one another gifts.
two travelers said
03:34 PM Sep 12, 2010
We have a big family and several years ago cut out all gifts giving except for your childern ...
For other family members we exchange homemade gifts it can be food, arts and crafts or just a coupon to dog sit for you.. It has worked out great...
I have cut down on the amount of baking I do .. I was going thru 100 lbs of flour every xmas season baking cookies and cakes to give away...there are eggs,sugar and all the fixins to go with that..
We do not travel xmas week..we all get together after the 1st of the year.. we found it cheaper for whoever is traveling
Remi said
04:50 PM Sep 12, 2010
two travelers wrote:
We have a big family and several years ago cut out all gifts giving except for your childern ...
For other family members we exchange homemade gifts it can be food, arts and crafts or just a coupon to dog sit for you.. It has worked out great...
I have cut down on the amount of baking I do .. I was going thru 100 lbs of flour every xmas season baking cookies and cakes to give away...there are eggs,sugar and all the fixins to go with that..
We do not travel xmas week..we all get together after the 1st of the year.. we found it cheaper for whoever is traveling
I really like this idea and started coming up with it myself over the last couple of years after seeing how much I was spending. I also tend to be the best cook of those I buy gifts for. What do you think about homemade soups and stew kits, just add water/meat and simmer for a couple hours? Or fro zed crawfish pies?
Pinon said
06:43 PM Sep 12, 2010
I was reading all of the replies when out of the blue (I hadn't said anything about Christmas)my DW said, "If you can't get the time off work DS and I are going to fly to Louisiana instead of driving." Not in a bad way at all - more like giving me permission to opt out if I wanted. I am still going to try to go, but if I can't go there is no guilt. So now we've talked about the budget too, and I am feeling better about it. We are figuring $2000 (the trip, plus boarding the dogs is the biggest part of it.) She has offered to work extra (she doesn't work full-time) and should make at least $500 extra this pay period (AKA $2 after taxes That is nice - makes me feel like she cares about what I think. Pinon
RickandJanice said
07:05 PM Sep 16, 2010
DW's family is really a fun bunch and they accept all of the in-laws as just part of the family. We all used to draw names so we each had only one gift to buy. Then a couple of years ago, as the grand kids and younger kids got a little older, someone came up with the idea of doing a "White Elephant" exchange. The main rule is that you are not supposed to buy anything for this exchange. Then we draw numbers and choose "gifts" after dinner. You would not believe all of the fun and laughs everyone has, even the younger ones clear down to age 5. The main thing in DW's family is getting together and having fun and Christmas is just another "reason" to do this. We do take time though to also celebrate the true "reason for the season" and give thanks to God for the gift of his Son to us.
The kicker is the trip budget (to the DW's family), which maybe we will save some on after we are full-timing. A week in Louisiana (a week boarding 3 dogs.) Okay, must change my attitude. In reality the trip costs about what the presents do, I just don't enjoy the trip so I resent spending the $ on it. And no, it is not negotiable, although I have been offered the chance to stay by myself at home for Christmas, if I want.
Pinon
-- Edited by Racerguy on Friday 10th of September 2010 01:39:33 PM
We quit getting gifts for sisters, bothers nieces and nephews years ago, Our gift giving is to our son and parents only. We quit spending so much during Christmas. Didn't like all of the bills coming in after the holidays were over.
As for travelling to spend time with family that spends most of the Christmas celebration talking about each other behind their backs I took a stand last year and refused to go. When asked why, I gave the above reason. To my surprise the reply was 'Oh, that's just what family's do!'. Well it may be but I don't want to be part of that so I'm not going again this year.
Ooo Roo
aussiesteve
-- Edited by aussiesteve on Friday 10th of September 2010 07:34:39 PM
"Conversations at Thanksgiving made us so aware that we all are so blessed. As a result, we have decided to forego Christmas gifts and donate our annual gift budget to the Salvation Army to provide essentials for those who are so less fortunate as we. Please donate somewhere what you would have spent on gifts for us."
This was received with estremely varied thoughts, but we know we made a difference. We also received the same number of thank you notes - ??? We know we are doing what we feel is right.
We have pared our list down to just us, kids and grandkids.
For years we bought for 30 to 40 relatives and send
goodie packages to about 15 others.
After several years of no one thanking or acknowledging
they received a package, those stopped being sent.
Now we donate that time and money to the family homeless center and church, with our grandkids.
Wayne
I think people go crazy at Christmas trying to buy gifts for every family member like its a contest to see who is the best family member. My brother and I give one another the best gift every Christmas and thats we have agreed not to buy one another gifts.
I really like this idea and started coming up with it myself over the last couple of years after seeing how much I was spending. I also tend to be the best cook of those I buy gifts for. What do you think about homemade soups and stew kits, just add water/meat and simmer for a couple hours? Or fro zed crawfish pies?
So now we've talked about the budget too, and I am feeling better about it. We are figuring $2000 (the trip, plus boarding the dogs is the biggest part of it.) She has offered to work extra (she doesn't work full-time) and should make at least $500 extra this pay period (AKA $2 after taxes
Pinon