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Post Info TOPIC: Feeling conflicted about a job offer


RV-Dreams Family Member

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Feeling conflicted about a job offer


So here's the situation...throwing it out there it my RV Dreams friends to get their thoughts.  

 

We started on the road 11/14 of this year and because we sold the house at less than we wanted still have a bit of debt to pay off ($23K).    We will have to work (we are only 48 and 46 and don't have investments to live from, but we have worked very hard to minimize simplify our expenses so we can live on much much less.  So I am keeping my job (I'm a project manager) and working it on the road until the debt is paid off.  It's been ok, although a huge part of me wants to be done with the debt (and the stressful job)  so I can really focus on the lifestyle but mostly I feel grateful I have a job I can do and still start the life.  Plus to be honest, it's a lot of change all at once and having the continuity of a job I know and like has provided a level of comfort for me during the transition.  

So here's the quandry  My boss called me last night and offered me a new project which will span the next 1-2 years.  It's VERY high profile and offers me the opportunity to travel internationally which is something I have always wanted to do.  Suffice it to say two years ago I would have jumped at the opportunity and never even thought twice about it, BUT my priorities, my dreams, my goals have changed in the last year.  For me this lifestyle is about slowing down and really enjoying my surroundings and my relationship with Lee.   It's about a less stressful life and getting back to the simpler things.   This job would be the antithesis of that.  It will be high stress, more travel, and more complicated.  So why even look at it at all?  My career has been made by always saying yes to any opportunity that comes along.  I literally have not turned down an assignment in  15 years which has allowed me to survive numerous lay offs and find work success at a time when many people are struggling.  In a nutshell the thought of saying no hurts my stomach and the thought of saying yes hurts my stomach but for totally different reasons.  

As a side note, I talked to Lee and he is fine either way as long as we can continue to explore the country.  I'll just mainly be doing it on weekends.  So no hope there...I could kill him for that :)

I know most of you don't "know" me but I have found an outside perspective can be very helpful.  So my question is if you were in my situation (keeping in mind my need to work at something)  what would you do.  

 

Appreciate your thoughts...I need to give an answer on Monday 

 

Trace



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The thought of international travel makes my stomach hurt. I did the road warrior bit from 1991 to 2011. Travel changed (and not for the better). Then they sent me to Kansas, Singapore, Monteviedeo, Alaska, Oklahoma, Yemen and other points far from home. The Yemen bit made me stop, even though I was at a facility way out in the desert and it was protected by numerous fences and a whole cadre of private soldiers as well as Yemeni soldiers.
As long as I could travel in the US, I could kinda put up with it, the international part soured me.
I don't know what the project is, but if you feel safe and are at peace with the international part, do it. If you are still nervous and unsettled, well......

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Tough one. If you have always wanted to do international travel, then doing so on someone else's money is great. The problem is, you will not be sharing those places with Lee and will want to go back on your own dime.

It is good you have the weekend to decide, you are going to need it.

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Hi Trace,

A few questions:

if you take the new project will it payoff the debt faster and build a nest egg?

If you don't like the travel can you go back to the previous project?

What happens if you LIKE the high profile exposure and international travel?

If Lee is still going to tech school and you will be stationary for several months it might help you ease into the travel part. 

Having met you and Lee and read your previous posts I know you must have done an exhaustive plus/minus sheet. Which way did that turn out? For or against taking the new project?

Gene

 



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Some questions..

What does Lee do?
Your international travel is back and forth? no relocating ? right?


Quick thought would be .. your still young.. and in my age group. You have plenty of time. The chance to see exciting places, on the cheap, seems very appealing to me.

A side note.. I have found in only 4 months.. The fulltime traveling thing is much better for 65+ people. Average age for a fulltimer is 68 ! Keep that in mind. As the "winter wonderlands" are focused on this age group.Not yours.
The parks in fl are also, all focused on the retired groups.. activities are like yoga, swimming, shuffleboard.. etc.. And if and when you go to a event like a BBQ or dinner.. You may find out that you are the youngest there.. Kinda makes me feel out of place. ( maybe not most people, I'm weird ). Not going to find too many people there that want to go party at the beach, or go jet sking..lol, if you get my meaning..You will find walkers, kayakers, bingo players, socializers.. alot of sitting around.

So whats the hurry? take your time.. I think the older you get, the more the full timing thing is better fit... my .02

Flip side, is the older you get.. the harder it is to move, have to consider doctors, and health concerns.. and is why I am doing it now, rather than later..

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I think you are faced with the million dollar question. I have "retired" 3 times and found I am never quite satisfied with it. Each time I always said I was too young. I love being semi retired. It gives me a purpose in life. Now in my 60's I have a "hobby" business that only takes 90 hours a week, more than I ever worked full time. We are gearing this to a seasonal (7 month) business though and are spending almost half the year on the road. Who knows... I hope I don't get bored again. :)
Good luck with your decision.

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A lot depends on the location of the international travel. If your not comfortable with the locations then its a quick no.

Otherwise being able to get out of debt and even add to your savings is a big plus. If you tell your boss no will it be the last time you have or get to? And like Gene asked, do you still have your current job if you turn this one down? Replacing your type of income won't come along everyday on the road.

On the flip side what brought you to RV Dreams was this crazy idea we all have......to be free.

Here's a thought. Can you commit in your own mind for six months? This would give Lee time to get through school and hopefully time to clear your debt? Then you would be on a little better financial footing to decide how to proceed. If you did work the entire assignment, Lee would have time to see where the RV repair job is going.

Wishing the both of you the best in your decision.

Red



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For me, I'd ask myself how long would it take me to pay off the the 23K with no change in the current plan.  How long would it take using the "international plan".  If you travel under either scenario there will be OOP expenses perhaps more with one over the other.  Do I have job security for now if I turn down the offer.  Could I do some other type of workamper gig to pay down the 23K as fast as the international plan might (I'm thinking some of those gateguarding gigs can pay a pretty penny and theoretically you could wipe out 23K in a few months at a good location as an example.)

Otherwise, it goes back to why did I chose this lifestyle in the first place. Sure plans change all the time, but does the opportunity outweigh the price of the things and experiences you miss or delay?  Me, I hate monkey wrenches being thrown into my well laid plans(such as they are).  But then I also prefer to follow the path of least resistance, meaning, go with your first gut feeling, it's usually right.

Hope this helps and good luck with your decision.



-- Edited by biggaRView on Monday 27th of July 2015 04:35:55 AM

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Thanks so much to all for the thoughtful input. To answer the most common question the money is exactly the same. I don't know where the travel will be but I'm not doing the Middle East so they will have to live with that. Some people love international travel and others hate it ...not sure where I will be on the spectrum...wish I knew it would make the decision easier. I can keep my current job but would be committing long term career suicide with this company...not that's it's a bad thing since I was planning on leaving anyways.

Red the 6 months is exactly what Lee said 😄
Gene I am definitely the list maker but I am truly 50/50 on this. Keep going back and forth
Brian I am totally with you on the monkey wrench. Honestly I wish he'd never asked me.

Thanks guys I truly appreciate the the thoughts. I'm hoping the answer comes to me.



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Hi Trace,

Think about what will put you and Lee in a "happy place".  I think your first thought needs to be the debt.  If working is the only way to pay this off, I'd suggest you stay employed...speaking as one who has had a lot of debt, that is a weight not pleasant to bear.  Since the old position and the new position pay the same, you need to decide if the travel, work experience, being away from Lee etc. feels right to you (the new position).  If the current position gives you personal satisfaction and allows you to indulge in the RV life a bit, and spend time with Lee, then that is perhaps the way to go.

I am 61 (which to this day I cannot believe!!), but had a great job in the 1980's and 1990's with travel, prestige and good pay.  Loved it!  Then I met and married Michael and my focus changed.  It meant more to me to be with Michael than to be traveling.  He introduced me to the outdoor adventure world and cycling and more and I knew I was content!  The job didn't hold as much appeal as I changed priorities.  We both ended up leaving our corporate jobs, cycled around the US, worked at Sequoia NP and knew we were onto something great...exploration, the outdoors, birding, camping, etc.  So we took lower paying jobs and became somewhat poor, but the lifestyle felt right.  And we kept on being employed until debt was paid off and we had money saved for this next chapter of our lives...both retiring and becoming full-timers in a Camp-Inn teardrop trailer (come April).

So, all I am suggesting is that you think hard about your priorities (paying off debt, traveling, getting into the RV life a bit now, etc. etc.).  Go with your gut and heart (and a pro and con list) and you'll make the right decision.  And remember, nothing is forever!!  You can always change your plans.

Best to you both!

 

 



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Lee and Trace wrote:

........Honestly I wish he'd never asked me. ..........

Thanks guys I truly appreciate the the thoughts. I'm hoping the answer comes to me.


 Perhaps your answer is already inside?       ...but,   High profile (sounds like more than presently), more stress and international travel at the same pay causes me to wonder where's the plus for you?



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Trace, tough question, it's a dilemma I've thought about a lot once we had actually gotten on the road and had settled into a bit of a routine after all the change. I'm very, very thankful I had a job I could take on the road with me, everyone was used to me working from home, now I just get asked where home is todaysmile

You and Lee are about the same age I am, my hubby's a few years older and after a lot of discussion on this topic, we've decided that we'll keep things status quo with my corporate job and reduce the number of art shows he participates in so we have more weekends free.  Now, that doesn't mean it's a lot less stressful at times, this weekend we're actually in a 3 day art show and I have the biggest proposal I've worked on all year due Monday at 5 PM. Talk about collision course for this 4 day periodcry  But, it's a stress we had in our S&B, now we have a lot less stress when we also aren't having to worry about yard upkeep and racing home after an out of town art show late on a Sunday night so I could work Monday AM, now we ARE home wherever the art show is and that has taken a lot of the stress out of our combined careers.

You mention not having a lot of investments, we don't have a lot, but we do have some and we had the blessing of being able to go on the road totally debt free with a little more nest egg from the house sale.  However, we both really want to retire early and every time Dale meets someone in their mid-50's who is retired, I can just see the hope he has that someday soon we'll be among those who retired a bit early.  So, we've made the decision that as long as my corporate job stays viable, I don't get laid off or there isn't some drastic change that makes me hate the job, we'll keep my job as is, save aggressively for retirement and who knows, maybe in another 3-5 years we'll be joining the retiree crowd. 

I have turned down 2 different internal job offers since we went on the road, both would have required more stress and more travel and I'm glad I made that decision.  My boss is very happy I've made the decision to turn those down as well, so for me it wasn't a situation of being black listed or being the next one on the layoff list. I think he was relieved to have a seasoned employee who requires very little supervision wanting to hang around and keep doing the same job for a while longerwink 

Not sure this helps much but thought I'd share my experience as we do seem have a lot in common.

 



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Trace, my dear, you know Moma Jo just has to chime in.  I agree with heyjohnm.  The answer already lies within you based on your comment, "Honestly, I wish he'd never asked me."  Here's some food for thought... for what it's worth.  First of all, consider Howard and Linda's story.  They had high-powered jobs once upon a time until they had an epiphany in Alaska.  As soon as they returned home, they couldn't ditch their corporate jobs fast enough!  That is when life, for them, really began.  Here you are, at a point in your life, where you and Lee are finally free, with the exception of some debt.  You may want to ask yourself if at this point in your life are you wanting to "gear up", or "gear down"? So far, it's seems you and Lee have been gearing down and transitioning to a completely different, more carefree, less stressful lifestyle.  Are you comfortable with your current income without the hassle of international travel, or do you need (or just want) more?  And international travel?  We have traveled internationally and, let me tell ya, the jet lag is a real bu$$ kicker!  Flying internationally, returning home, and repeating can and will wear on you (and Lee?).  (Working internationally is not necessarily the vacation you may have dreamed about once upon a time.)  Think about that.  And what will you be like when you do return home to Lee for a short period of time just to have to turn around and... repeat?  I have family in Spain (Spaniards) that we want to see again some day, but Craig and I were discussing just yesterday that we just don't feel safe flying internationally any more.  (Hint:  It has to do with the way of the world.)  Is the prestige really that important at this stage in your life?  I realize you have a lot to consider and know that you will make the right decision for you (and Lee). My heart goes out to you.  If I can help at all or you just need to chat, feel free to text or call.  God bless you my sweet!



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Hey Trace!

I could see how that can be exciting and scary at the same time.  You travel a lot now.  How is that with the packing, preparing, drive to/from airports, decompressing once home, re-adjusting, for both of you, etc??  I know you're mostly eastcoast, but jet lag with more than 3 hours can be very tough.  Steve loved it and was great at it for several years, but then it wasn't.  He'd probably consider something if it meant relocating, but traveling back and forth is rough with 10+ hour time changes.  How often would you be traveling and for how long?

Pretend it isn't overseas.  That it's just a 14 hour time change instead of 1 hour.  How would your mind and body handle that?  It's more of do you really want to add to your flight time for the same pay? I'm sure there are other benefits, but sounds like it comes down to the distance and how often.  Do you feel excited and accomplished and ready to go again when you get back from travel now?  If not really, those extra flight hours will be a real downer.  Just try to talk out a practice "trip".

What do you really want in your soul and will that new position provide that?

Either way, it isn't permanent, you can change your mind.  Take care!



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Trace,

Been there and done that. I went on many two and three month assignments in Central America while we were full-timing. My DH either kept the light burning where we had been parked or moved to other places. There are airports everywhere in the US so he could always pick me up when I came home. We kept in touch by phone and, even though it was a bit lonely, we are pretty self-sufficient and it worked for us. The big difference was the money I made, at least twice as much per assignment.. I would not accept too much traveling unless there was a real boost in salary.

Obviously having debt is stressful and the quicker you get rid of it the better. Besides, you say you're keeping a stressful job, if you get rid of the debt you will be able to leave the job a lot sooner too. One or two years on assignment is not too long and it may provide the freedom you want. I traveled overseas several times before I met my DH and jet lag wasn't so bad. You just have to rest and adjust.

My advice: negotiate. Your boss wants you to take on more stress and leave your DH behind? Then pay you for it. Same pay? Thanks but no thanks.

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My dear Tracy - I know Bill gave you his $.02 earlier but I didn't get to say much so here I go now:

Since I truly cannot relate to being the one deciding whether to take the job or not - although I can imagine it must be VERY flattering to be asked to take this on - your boss must have a HUGE amount of confidence in you! I can relate 100% to being the spouse - so basically Lee's shoes. I don't know Lee all that well - but I know him well enough to say that he will probably never tell you not to take it. I would never tell Bill not to follow his dreams b/c I love him - just as Lee loves you and will support your decision and YOU in any way he can b/c of that. When Bill did all that traveling it was exciting at first and we got some nice perks from it - but - it got old very quickly - for me anyway. Keep in mind I had two elementary school age kids at the time - don't know if that made it better or worse - but it got old dropping him off at the airport. Picking him up was pretty exciting (remember what we talked about the other day? 😉).

I think the answer is there for you - in your heart you KNOW what your priorities are now - not what they were 2 years ago - and where you want to be - give yourself permission to make the decision your heart tells you to make. It's ok - really it is.

Hope this helps - I trust you will do what's right for you and Lee - and I hope you know - Bill and I are here for you both whatever you decide.

Love and hugs!

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Trace - from the way you phrased your question, it seems like you already know what you want. I've been there often myself - having to make a decision between what the heart wants and what the head wants. Being a strong "type A" personality, I make lists of lists and then another list to help me decide, although usually the heart wins out.

My two cents is that if you are able to sustain yourselves on the road, even if it means penny-pinching sometimes (including the possibility of finding new ways to supplement your income), then that's the goal to strive for. Making more money, or getting out of debt sooner at the cost of your present happiness and sanity isn't always the best solution, even if it does make more financial sense. And as has been evidenced, sadly too often, we never know what tomorrow holds, so NOW is the time to follow our dreams. For you, it's not a matter of "should I change my lifestyle and pursue full-timing;" it's "should I turn back now that I've started full-timing?" Only you can decide that. Heart or head?

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Thanks so much to everyone who wrote...in particular Ruth I appreciate your weighing in since our work lives are so similar. I turned down the job...first time ever I have turned in a major assignment and I didn't know if had it in me to be honest. My boss was really great about it and it led to a wonderful conversation about the lifestyle and what I wanted long term which was great. The second conversation was even harder than the first...but it needed to be had since I just don't have it in me to be less than 100 percent honest about what I am doing. He said he thought it was a great plan which is a very encouraging sign. There are no promises in life and I don't expect this job to last forever but I feel much more comfortable with my situation now.

Plus it is a GREAT feeling to make a choice not about fear or what other people want or need from me but about what I want. I am very very happy and thank you all so much for giving me the courage to make a stand.

Trace

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Way to go, Trace! Who knows, maybe down the road you can work for him remotely, on your own terms.

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Yay! I think you made the right decision. I have absolutely no regret about either of the jobs I've turned down in the last 18 months, my boss is still very, very supportive of my current job combined with this lifestyle. I have no idea if I'll survive the next round of layoffs, but then again, I've never known that at any time in my career.

Combining this FT RV life with FT work from home has been wonderful. Even though I still have the M-F job, I feel that I have more freedom, less stress, etc.

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Dale and Ruth Travelling with Tazzy Kat!

 

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I can only imagine the heavy burden that has been lifted... how freeing it must feel. We all know there are no guarantees in this life, so enjoy the job you have now, for as long as it last. Wishing you and Lee safe travels and much happiness!!



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Congratulations on your decision!

Where is the "like" button?

I found your blog and I love love love it!

Susan

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Thanks Susan...I love when people resurrect year old posts!!! So 8 months later I don't regret that decision one little bit. The guy who took the job seems pretty miserable and I am happier than I have ever been!!

Trace

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