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Post Info TOPIC: Newly Solo and thinking of the future


RV-Dreams Family Member

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Newly Solo and thinking of the future


I've been a member here for almost two years, and in that time my intrepid dh and I sold our little farm and moved into our first camper full time.  We were lucky enough to find an 03 carriage cameo in fine condition, and after some interior remodeling it's extremely comfortable for full time living.

We were very happy in our fiver for exactly one year when my dh passed away after a decade's long battle with leukemia.

I am devastated, really I never believed the cancer would win, but at least now he finally feels better.

So all of this brings me to this--someone suggested I downsize, and I'm pretty resistant as I really like my home.

I do get nonsense for milage, but I suspect that's not enough reason to downsize for me just yet.

There is an awful lot for me to learn about the rig, but I think I will follow dear friends around the country next year for a while, long enough for them to teach me everything I need to know in order to be truly independent.

For now I have to trust that the folks I hire will winterize it properly, get it home for me safely, etc etc.

But I am confident that by this time next year i'll be in a better place to decide about downsizing.

I'm thinking of maybe keeping this rig year round at our summer camp, and buying a small class c for wandering snowbird style.

We shall see.



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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Susan,

First of all, our condolences to you for your loss.  Those are seldom easy to take and even when the one that has passed is in pain, it doesn't alleviate the loss that we all feel.  Our prayers are with you and for him.

I think you have a pretty good plan going there.  At least, you still have the opportunity to travel to see new places and old and new friends.  Good luck with your travels and new lifestyle.

Terry

 



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2010 Mobile Suites 38TKSB3
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2014 Ford Expedition 4X4 as Tag-along or Scout

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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So sorry for your loss; thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I think your thoughts about letting things settle down and figuring out how to move on is best. And, it sounds like you have options and a great support system, so you have time to figure things out.

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Sorry to hear of your devastating loss.

If you really want better gas mileage, look at my post in the "Post Pics of your Rig" thread. Instead of a class C as a second camper, how's 22-25 mpg sound? It's a little crowded or 2 but perfect for one, and you can get to some really out of the way places you could never take a bigger rig (look at my first photo in the Chisos Basin at Big Bend, NP - the road is limited to RVs under 24ft., so unless that class C is under 24ft....) It is fully insulated, pops-up in 30 seconds (no joke) for roadside potty breaks, a quick lunch or overnighting at a roadside rest area. You can even tow it with a 4 cyl car!

Here we are at Cataloochee in the Smoky Mountains - you can't get there in a big rig.


And another by Horse Though Falls, near Helen, Ga. I wouldn't take a rig like yours down that long, narrow, winding, rutted road either.


Just an option you might not have considered.

Chip



-- Edited by Sushidog on Tuesday 2nd of December 2014 09:08:12 AM

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Wow, what to say?

My in-laws were fulltimers and my father-in-law died unexpectedly in May 2013. My mother-in-law decided to stay a fulltimer and not make any major changes for a year. She is still a fulltimer, but after a while she did realize that the 40' motorhome was not working out and ended up with a 33' one in February. She did need the months to get a handle on her life, but realized that one year was too long for some decisions. She is still learning and coping with the changes, but realizes that her initial "no major changes for a year" was too restrictive and in her case, was causing more stress and anguish. My advice is to try to remain flexible and not make hasty decisions, but allow yourself to make changes when the feeling comes. Also, accept at least some help from your friends and loved ones, they want to help and you are not 100%. If they make you a few meals, help you move, help you go through stuff, etc., it does not mean you cannot be independent.

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Bill Joyce,
40' 2004 Dutch Star DP towing a 2012 AWD Chevy Equinox
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RV-Dreams Family Member

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So sorry for your loss, thoughts and prayers are with you during this transition.

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FT - July 2013

 

2010 38TKSB3 DRV Mobile Suites

2012 Ford F450

 

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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So sorry for your loss Susan......glad that you both got to spend some time on the road with a dream....

make no rash decisions....whether its 10' or 40' the learning curve is simple once you remove the fear factor......there are alot of solo's out here several within this forum that have been known to travel together (Solo Cafe comes to mind)

We are one big family here and I for one am available to help if you need it!

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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So sorry for your loss Susan and I am so proud of you for keeping the dream going. That takes so much courage and I am so glad you and your husband had the year together living the dream. God bless...Trace

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 Trace 

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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My condolences. 

I agree with Lucky Mike. Don't make a decision until you're sure of what you want to do, especially if you like your rig. Trading is usually expensive and with a little practice and a little help from your friends, you'll be fine. And remember, you have lots of friends right here on the forum that will be more than willing to help.

Jim



-- Edited by Jim01 on Tuesday 2nd of December 2014 07:26:22 PM

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May your roads be smooth, and your views ever-new.



RV-Dreams Family Member

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Chip, a very cool trailer!  We are getting a teardrop built for us, ready in April, as we didn't want anything so large that it would be like a "house on wheels" and have lots of maintenance to deal with.  I'd love to hear about your trailer and travels!

Susan, so sad to know of your loss.  Let your support group of friends and family help you through the rough patches.  And your Forum friends too.

 



-- Edited by birder526 on Tuesday 2nd of December 2014 09:27:24 PM

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Cape Cod, MA

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Thank you all, your support is very sweet.
My friends have lived on the road for 8 years, and the hubby is a former truck driver too, so I suspect it wont take long for me to learn what I need to know while spending time with them.
I'm thinking of some ways to earn extra cash and to stay busy, and may take a dog/cat grooming class so I can offer that service in various campgrounds as I travel.
Plus I am open to a smaller rig for traveling, as long as I can come 'home' to this rig in the summers.

I'm headed back to Vermont to allow loved ones to take care of me--though I'm not sure what that looks like! I promised to try and try I will, lol.



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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Susan,

Both my DH and myself are facing those same issues. My DH lost a lung to cancer and I have heart problems. We are preparing by setting up a permanent site where each one of us would be able to live alone if necessary. Our 5er is also very comfortable for traveling together but I don't know if I could handle it by myself (he would have no problems) so that will have to be considered in the future. You have suffered a terrible loss and you're in our prayers. Give yourself time to make a decision it will come in good time. You'll find many virtual friends here and lot's of advice and help.

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Dyana L. Smiley


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Susan,
You will do fine, just hange in there. I've been a widower of seven years and full timer for eight and still have no Intensions of going back to a stick house.

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Joel Buchan 

Full Timer - 97 Beaver/Patriot

Solar Power - Boondocker



RV-Dreams Family Member

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Susan, I'm so very sorry for your loss and, like others, glad you had your year together. I admired your courage in your prior posts. Your concerns are valid and it's wonderful that you have friends inviting you to travel with them to assist. With Jesse's ALS I originally thought we would keep our big Trilogy 5th wheel and keep it as a second home in our co-op in California. As Jesse progressed I realized that it was too much for me to handle alone and too much I had left for Jesse to understand and maintain. One occasion, I didn't have enough hand strength to disconnect the sewer hose from the rig. I'm still not good at backing the big rig so we've listed it for sale. I'm a very emotionally strong woman but physically not so much. I loved our RV life that we shared but I can't imagine doing it without him. Yet I can't imagine living in a house in one place by myself sometime in the future.

Follow your own heart, take whatever is your own time, be gentle with yourself and enjoy your memories and I'll try to do the same. Do keep us posted on your decisions and journey.

Sherry

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Sorry for your loss. Hope you find your way. You'll slowly figure out what's best for you.

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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You folks are all so kind, I truly hope I get to meet all of you one day.
For now I find myself too restless (and cold) to stay in New England, though the love of family and friends is just incredible.
I am headed back to Texas and my rig on the first of the year, to join my friends in the rv park they're at.
I still will spend time with them, but am also thinking that I may take up to a year volunteering and learning something(s!) new.

I'm not only looking in the states, but all over the world---there are SO MANY opportunities out there!
I can teach English almost anywhere, work with farms or animals or build houses or dig wells or tag sea turtles. It's quite mind boggling!

First off I must regain my health, strength and stamina--this past year has knocked the stuffing out of me, and I'm not sure I could handle much if any physical work until I fix that.
So i guess i need a few months of physical rehab type stuff while i continue my research.
I miss my love so deeply, and still don't really believe that he's not coming back, but I'm moving forward knowing he would be my biggest supporter, and that really helps.

If you know of any cool volunteer gigs with good credentials, I'm interested!
Be well my friends, suse.


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RV-Dreams Family Member

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My condolences, Some time I wonder why I was the survivor of that HA! Being single and left financially strapped, with not many surviving family members! But, yes we must carry on, it some times is a struggle, but it is said the best years lie ahead!
There is a couple websites for volunteering: Workamper News, and Workers on Wheels.








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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Susan I am so sorry for your loss of your husband.

I liked what Bill Joyce had to say about his MIL not making any changes for a year. DH has seen 13 more summers than me and if this time came for me I think I would do just as Bill mentioned. I have learned to drive our motorhome in fact I do most of the driving now. I am going to attend seminars in March with the FMCA diesel RV Club in CA to learn about engine maintenance and hopefully other things that currently make no sense to me today.

Full-timing was my idea and I have been blessed with a husband that didn't tell me I was crazy and jumped in with both feet. We FT-RVers are a special family of people who are more than willing to help each other.  I may  someday have to ask for help and I know y'all will be there. So Susan if you need help and advise you certainly have a great place to come. 



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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Susan I am so sorry for your loss. I am in the same situation as yourself with just losing my husband about a week  ago. I am now in Phoenix,  wondering what my next step will be. I need to learn to drive the RV and perhaps in the future downsize. I am here with Bill's family and they are taking very good care of me. I thought I would stay in Phoenix for the winter and then try and make some decisions. It is not easy.



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Loretta

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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Oh Loretta, I am so sorry.

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RV-Dreams Community Member

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Susan, condolences on your loss; kudos for having the courage to continue RVing as a solo. Have you ever been to an RV Boot Camp weekend? If you have, that's great. If not, I STRONGLY recommend you attend one. Over the course of a weekend, 200+ RV "newbies" (and not so newbies) receive a great education which goes a long way to demystify RVs. Mistakes made with RVs are often expensive and, sometimes dangerous. I attended an Escapees RV Club Boot Camp back in 2011. It was the second year I RVed and, Boot Camp was time and money VERY well spent. I expect other groups / companies run RV Boot Camps too (heck, you might even find one online). Addition benefits are the camaraderie and chance to see so many other RVs. I expect I'll attend RV Boot Camp again as I know I have more to learn. Escapees runs an RV Boot Camp before Escapade. In 2015, that will run from the afternoon of Thursday, March 5th through Saturday, March 7th in Tucson, AZ. Escapade will start Sunday, March 8th (you can attend just Boot Camp, just Escapade or both). Escapees do run RV Boot camps at other times and in other locations too. You don't even have to bring an RV. Some people come before they buy their first RV and stay in a nearby motel.

Keep going with your positive attitude. You know how nice it is to travel with a partner but, traveling solo sure beats sitting home alone just growing old. Who knows; if it's "in the cards" you might cross paths with another solo you find interesting. Then, you'll already have something in common. Good luck! Regards, ~ John


PS, Loretta, Condolences on your loss. I am glad to hear you're in a safe place with family who are there and can offer help and support. You're right; decisions won't be easy so, don't rush. ~ John

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RV-Dreams Family Member

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I will be in Tennessee for the spring rally---I can't wait either!

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RV-Dreams Community Member

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Susan & Loretta

I am so sorry for both of your losses.

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Anna M. Miller

2003 Aliner Scout



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Hi  Susan,  So sorry for your loss.  I am also in the same boat, my wife passed away this past December after 28 years together. Some days will be OK and some will take a little more strength to get through the day. Have loved ones and good friends close for support. I've learned that there is no one answer to make things easier, you and I will find with time how to cope with our losses. 

Take care of yourself and keep your loved one in your heart. 

Greg 



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